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[Queety White]

June 7, 2007

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Okay, so I'm placing a bet with myself. I bet I can't keep a journal for more than a week. However, I think that I can do this without much problem. So I'll just have to wait and see. hee hee! -__-;;

I hate being sick. I had the flu and couldn't teach classes for a week and a half. I'm starting to feel better and I can teach classes again but I'm still not 100%. This stinks!

Okay, so I think I've realized that teaching is a lot harder than I originally anticipated. Every class that my students don't pay attention in, I think about my first HOM class when I fell asleep. I'm sure Hermione wasn't too happy with that! 0.o Sometimes I wonder if the class is really boring because it's so much like a muggle class and there's no magic going on. I'm gonna have to change that. Hopefully, I'll get used to this. I'm determined to stay a teacher. I'd much rather live in the castle than in London. No offense to Londonians, but I really don't like the city.

Speaking of London, I saw Straw again after I went shopping. It was...interesting to say the least. I keep telling myself that he's only my friend but that's just not working. I doubt he sees me anymore than a friend. I don't have time for guys right now anyways, I have my work to, erm, work with.

My stories are coming out pretty well. I think I'll have my first draft of Objects in Mirror done by the end of this summer. I'll be so happy if I can get published. This story will definitely be for muggles and wizards. I'm tinkering around with some ideas for a book just for wizards. However, I'm not entirely sure where it would go.

Well, I have to sign off for now. The first years are starting to come into the classroom. I'm gonna try something different for my class today. Hopefully they are excited to learn.

I hope I have enough energy for this...

<3 Queety

[Queety White]

June 15, 2007

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Darn it! I was off by one day. So I guess I lost the bet. I now owe myself 50 Galleons. I blame myself. -__-;;

Nothing too new in my life. There's rumor's that Jonny Blaise may return in a couple months. That would be really exciting. I miss him a lot. I really hope he does return even though he said he probably wouldn't. I've written a couple letters to him but he hasn't really responded to many. We've got a lot of talking to do if he does return. I would really like to know what he had been doing with Efni during that time.

Classes are picking up with the new rules for class attendance. I'm a little nervous about all this though as it means I'll have to have a lot more energy for my bigger classes. However, I'm officially over my flu and feeling great! So, things should look up.

Well, there's nothing too interesting. I guess I'll just have to sign off for now and if something really interesting comes up, I'll write about it (as if I have all the free time in the world).

<3 Queety

[Queety White]

June 22, 2007

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Well, I was in for a surprise this week. My cousin, April, came to Hogwarts the other day. I almost completely forgot about her (which is a very mean thing to say). However, it's really awesome that's she's come. We never really got to grow up together and I didn't even know about her until I got into Hogwarts myself. I guess my parents weren't big fans of the whole me being a witch idea.

Well, Cole's gonna be getting married soon. I'm planning to go to the wedding. I don't know if I'll be going by myself or with Straw someone special. *cough* >.< Okay, so I still like Straw but I am NOT willing to admit that for the world to know. After seeing him last week... well, seeing more of him than I ever really wanted to, I really think I haven't gotten over him. I still have feelings for him I think. Hmm...

I was talking to Dennis, who was the old Herbology TA. He now works at Gringotts. He told me about how his parents and grandparents were dead and that he really had nothing left. That left a scar on me. Maybe I should stop being so crazy and immature and really start settling down.

My birthday's coming soon. July 20th I'll be 17. It's funny that before, you had to be 17 before you were a legal wizard or witch. Things do change with the times I guess. They really do...

<3 Queety

[Queety White]

July 3, 2007

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Hello from Ms. Really-bad-at-keeping-a-journal!

Number one thing on my list of things that have to get done: grading exams. *dies* I can't believe it's so much work. Most of the students are getting things right, something I'm very proud of, but it's still very annoying to look at each individual student and check their attendence. Plus, I have to make the decision whether to have them pass or fail HOM. I think it's pretty lame if you fail a class just because you didn't go to any classes. It's really not that hard, you know? But I haven't been a first year in eons so I don't know what the kids are thinking now.

So that's pretty much why I haven't updated recently. So you can't get mad at me. (I'm talking directly to my journal. I must be going crazy...) Heh...

My parents have been sending me a lot of OWLs lately. I haven't read any of them. It's so weird that they are doing this when we haven't talked in almost a year and a half. I've destroyed most of the letters they've sent. I really don't want to know what they have to say. I just hope they aren't sending me any bad news like someone died or something like that...

Heh...

I hope not. 0.o

<3 Queety

[Queety White]

July 11, 2007

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Finally! The term is over and I'm ready to relax to my heart's content! Sure, I have to do some work over the break, but I'm gonna relax for a little. Exam work is a lot harder than I expected it to be. Hopefully everyone got what they deserved. And I really hope I did everything right. So, evenutally, I have to get ready for the next term. I currently don't know who my TA is but I'm gonna try to work with her a lot.

Well, things are kinda boring. I saw some old friends recently. I hung out with Lillers and April along with two friends of theirs. I know Lillian is on the...eccentric side but dressing up as a boy really kind of confused me at first. Still, I know how she could be crazy. Heck! She's a musketeer! I saw Nessa, Jackie, and Vi as well, speaking of musketeers. It feels kind of weird to be around my old friends. We really need to start getting together more often so we wouldn't have these awkward reunitement moments.

Other than that, things are the same as normal. I haven't seen Straw in ages actually. I should send him an OWL or something. It's hard to be around friends who had left the school because I'm usually stuck in the castle. It's hard to know that I could (technically) turn back time and have fun as a student again, like old times. *sighs* Oh, well.

My parents sent me three more letters. I did exactly as with the other three, let Shadow rip it up and play with it. I really don't care what they have to say. I'm sorry to disrespect them, but I'm tired of everything they did. Especially since I miss the one term that I was gone, as so much happened during that term, I regret that my time as a student had gone by so fast.

<3 Queety

[Queety White]

June 24, 2007

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I'm gonna be honest when I explain why I haven't updated in a while. I've been absolutely SWAMPED with work. There's no TA now that Cristina left and I became professor. I really wish I could find a new one soon because I don't think I can handle another day like the one I had yesterday.

But, luckily, I do have a chance to relax tonight because the school is having a Victory Ball celebrating the fall of Voldemort. Sometimes I wonder what happened. I was really young when it happened and living in a world without him. Besides, I was still in America and this all happened here in Britain. But anyways...

Guess who I'm going to the ball with? Straw! I'm so excited. I invited him, as it was the only way for him to be allowed in the castle, and he accepted, something I did not really expect. So tonight, we're going together. Wish me luck (I'm talking to an inanimate object, oh my gosh).

I'll update as soon as I can breathe again.

<3 Queety

[Queety White]

August 11, 2007

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I'm sitting in my office right now, ACTUALLY HAVING FREE TIME!!!! Den took over as the new History TA and is now teaching the younger years. That makes things so much easier for me, as the first years are an overwelming class. I trust Den, though. He's like me, crazy and wanting to keep the classes interesting. I appreciate that.

For some reason, though, Straw doesn't like Den. I mentioned him on our date (Date Number 2. *thumbs up*) and Straw seemed to get really upset. He dismissed it though and we continued on. I don't understand why he wouldn't like Den. I think he's really cool. And I think he could be a very good friend of mine.

But anyways, things are moving along as they normally are. There isn't much that's new. I got a new broomstick and my old one sits cold and lonely, the front of it broken. I could donate it to a poor wizarding boy but I don't know if it's safe enough to even be considered secondhand. I might just throw it away. I feel bad about it though. I spent all the money I had on Quidditch stuff, especially that broom, and I spent a couple months flat broke. That broom meant a lot to me. But still, if it wasn't for that broom, I would not have become close friends with Straw or Avery or even Lulu and Harms.

Speaking of which, I haven't seen Lulu or Harmony in quite a while. Harmony had a job here at Trio's but then left mysteriously. Sure a lot of people mysteriously disappear and reappear (I should know. Lillian Ann is my best friend), but it'd be nice for people to give a little warning.

<3 Queety

[Queety White]

August 25, 2007

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Damnit! Sick again. I haven't been under the weather since June. Sorry I can't write much. I need to sleep as much as possible while teaching classes. I'm so glad that Avery is my pupil again, by the way. It feels weird when you're teaching your friends but it can also make things more fun.

I've noticed that I'm spending more time with Straw's group of friends. It makes me wonder where the heck my friends are. But Kelly, Carina, and Aaron are awesome. I've known them for a while but more as classmates than aquaintences (which I believe we are now). I've officially decided that Den is a good friend of mine. We went out to coffee once and chatted. Apparently he's having trouble with his classes but he's taking care of it just fine.

Achooo! heh. I just wrote that I'm sneezing. I'm really tired. I'm gonna take a quick nap before dinner.

<3 Queety

[Queety White]

August 27, 2007

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What was it he said? "You love him"? I just can't believe Den would come out and say that. How did Den know that I like Straw as more than a friend? Or as he said, "Like-like" him? He said there were tons of rumors going around but I haven't heard any more than just the fact that Straw and I went to the Victory Ball together. Apparently we've been spotted together a lot more. Did anyone else see us when we went flying or when I went to his and Aaron's flat?

I know this is weird for me to write in a journal only two days after my last entry but I really need to get my thoughts together. I need to figure out exactly what I'm feeling. I don't think I actually love Straw. That's stretching it a little bit. A person can't fall in love too fast, can they?

He did save me once. That's when I started having feelings for him. Perhaps it's not that I really like/love him but that I feel indebted to him. Then why, on our flying date, did my heart skip a beat when he held my hand. Why is he always on my mind? And why do I spend every moment of free time that I have looking for him in London?

I know I do really like him, but can I consider love just yet?

You know what really bugged me was that Den was so interested about how I felt about Straw. I'm probably just overreacting and he was just teasing me. But he did say he wanted to find a girlfriend in Hogwarts. But, as far as I know, there are only two single woman that Den would like. And one of them is me...

<3 Queety

[Queety White]

September 30, 2007

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I know. I know. It's been a whole dang month since I last wrote in this journal. It's just that I haven't been able to put my thoughts together until now. I just can't believe everything that has been going on.

Jonny is back.

He just showed up, without warning. I got this anonymous letter from someone saying to meet them and I thought, 'Oh, that's just Buckett being stupid and silly again' but when I got to Leichester Square... Oh, my God. My jaw just dropped. I just didn't know how to react. My best friend had mysteriously disappeared and then mysteriously returned? How do you cope with that?

I feel really stupid about how I reacted. I cried out of anger. I didn't even know what to say or anything. I would have punched him in the face if I didn't have such self control. Oh, my God...

He looks exactly the same as when he left, just more tired. But he still had the messy blond hair and the steely blue eyes. Those eyes. I couldn't look into them. They were really taunting to me. I don't know if he ever realized but those were the eyes I had fallen in love with.

He doesn't know that he had hurt me when he got with Efni. He doesn't know that I used to like him, if not love him. He doesn't know how long it took me to get over him after he left. He doesn't know that I almost fell in love with those eyes again at Leichester Square.

Luckily, I'm concentrating on not falling for him again. And I think I'll be fine. I think we can be fine as friends. I still really like Straw and nothing is going to change that.

Straw... I haven't seen him in quite a while. We send random owls to each other or pass by in London, just saying a quick hello and going off on our way. I really need to see him again. Hang out with him again just because it's a lot of fun being around Buckett.

Outside of my 'drama' [not that there's much], life's been okay. Den and I planned a staff party in my apartment. Not everyone came but it was still pretty good. We talked about the whole Death Eaters Escaping thing. It really kind of freaks me out, but if I'm safe anywhere, it's in Hogwarts.

Exams are coming up soon. My least favorite part of the term is approaching, when I have to fail some students. Luckily it won't be many so it won't be as hard. But if I don't write another entry for a while, please understand why. It's all because of those finals...

<3 Queety

[Queety White]

November 23, 2007

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Okay, I'm probably the worst journal writer ever. It's been nearly two months since I last wrote something. That's pretty bad. Well, what can I say to make up for all of it. I guess I can just recap. Let's see. Let me just glance back at the last entry so I can figure out where to start.

Oh...

Well, Jonny disappeared just as soon as he appeared. And I think this time he's gone for good. I just wish he had explained things while he was here. Oh well. I can learn to live without him, even though he is one of my best friends. But now I kind of understand how my family must feel to have me gone and not send any explanations or any updates on my life. I feel kind of bad about it. But I just can't contact them again. I'm too ashamed to.

Dennis is out of the castle. Some of the students did not like him so he got fired. I have a new TA, Joshua Thomas. He seems nice but a little less experienced. There's nothing wrong with that. In fact, I can probably shape him up the way I want to since he is new to this school. But it's just not the same as having Den. And I really miss him. I need to get back in contact with him but I think he's upset since I didn't do much to protect him when he was about to get fired.

We're on a new term right now. About a month into it. My fourth year class is absolutely ridiculous. I can't stand how my students don't care at all. And I can't think of anything to do with them anymore. There is very little hope. Most of them are going to fail HOM at the rate they are going. I know next year isn't going to be as bad but I still need to do something now. I just have to be even more creative.

The other night, I had a weird dream. I was holding this little baby in my arms and talking with Hermione P and Jackie. And Hermione's daughter, Michelle was there, except she was like two or three years old. And I let her hold the little baby who i found out was named Autumn. I wondered if it was just wishful thinking or if it will ever actually happen. I used to have dreams like that, where it was just a normal every day event and those eventually came true. Perhaps I'm starting to get those dreams again.

But I think it's more my desire to get married and start a family. Tidane [by the way, she came back!] asked me the other day if I was married. I said no, but I really wished I was. It's weird to be treated like an adult when I'm still pretty young. But lately I've been feeling much more adult, especially in my desire to have a family. It's a really weird feeling, actually. I mean, if I had stayed in the muggle world, I would be a senior in high school thinking about college, not being a professor at a world renowned wizarding school. The world you live in can make a huge difference in who you are.

<3 Queety