A Kick in the Teeth [Straw + Logan]

[Joshua Chambers]

Josh hardly slept as it were, but since the revelation of his ongoing existence to Hermione, he slept even less. He spent much time seated on the ground, propped up against a corner with his legs drawn up to his chest. This position had become comfortable to him, the only warmth in the cold darkness of a prison cell. He didn't even want to touch on the torturous means in which he was tormented daily for seven years. It was warmer out in the world, but that warmth hadn't penetrated his long-chilled bones yet.

His head dropped to his knees as he sighed. He felt his lids become heavy with exhaustion, and he nearly drifted off to sleep like this. The sound of the door to the hut opening caused him to quickly lift his head, eyes wide with sudden alertness. He wasn't sure if he needed to hide or not, but he recognized the newcomer to be a friendly face. "Straw," he croaked out, using his voice for what might have been the first time that day.

Everyone was busy now. They all had lives—some had wives, husbands, even children. It wasn't abnormal to go a couple days without seeing Straw. "Speaking of Straw..." Josh slowly rose to his feet. His body wasn't as used to so much movement anymore. "I have a straw to pick with you. Or is it a bone? Whatever. I can't believe you told my wife that her husband was still alive...in a bar. Granted, it wasn't the Hog's Head, but still, a bar, Buckett?"

[Straw Buckett]

Leiden with groceries Straw pushed open the door to Hagrid’s old hut with an almighty push with his foot. The hut was small and still a single room, hams and pheasants hanging from the ceiling, in the corner stands a massive bed and with a fireplace in the middle where a copper kettle sat waiting to be used. A strong smell of mildew and stale air stung his nose as he made his way past old tea cups and dust covered books. Free papers piled up in the corner on wooden chair and cascaded all the way to the foot of the rough wooden floor, shafts of light bursting through gaps in the closed curtain, absolute silence except for a low voice who muttered his name as he entered. Hearing his voice was still a shock for Straw. In fact seeing him was a shock, the man was barely a whisper of his old self but it was still him inside. His best friend was alive and despite that he would never be the same Josh Straw would trade dead Josh for this Josh any day, breaking him out was something he’d never apologies for.

Sniffing the air Straw wondered if he needed to teach Josh how to shower again because this was not the normal Logan smell. “You need a bath dude!” Straw smirked as he took a seat in a velvet old sofa chair opposite Josh. Straw watched and stayed seated as he man approach him shakily, “I know, I know I’ll give you that, my location of choice was not my first or best pick but I didn’t have much of a choice. She just showed up, I wasn’t expecting to see her at all! I had to think on my feet… If I took her outside how were you going to keep an eye on us? I thought you wanted to see me tell them all?”

[Joshua Chambers]

Josh's brows knit with confusion at the sudden outburst, and he lifted the collar of his shirt towards his nose. The scent that came off the garment didn't offend him, but his standard of cleanliness had gone down considerably in the last seven years. With only a rag and a pail of water as his only means of cleanliness, he'd become nose-blind to his own stench. Straw had insisted on a bath prior to his appearance at the Three Broomsticks, but it hadn't become a daily habit as of yet.

"That bad, huh? Right. I'll get on that in a minute, but..." Before he was able to return to the topic in question, Straw responded, claiming he was surprised by Hermione's arrival. Admittedly, Josh was aware that she usually wasn't one for the crowd, but seven years could have changed her, especially seven years as a widow. "I wanted to see everyone. I did say that. I guess I wasn't expecting to be out with it so soon. She didn't seem to believe you."

Josh laughed a little, still finding this whole situation to be as crazy as it sounded to Hermione's ears. However, the laughter faded quickly when he thought about what he overheard just before he fled the pub. "You said you broke me out of Azkaban. Straw, I never wanted to put you in that position. You could be in a world of trouble because of me. You should have freed me with the law on your side. We could both end up back there."

[Straw Buckett]

It was amazing how quickly the two could just fall into conversation again. After all these years it was like nothing had changed and it was another day at school or in the office. Straw couldn’t help but catch himself staring at Josh and wondering if he was just going insane. Perhaps Straw was having a mental break down and he’d created Josh as some coping mechanism. It wouldn’t be unthought-of due to the amount of time Straw spent at Josh’s grave either drinking a beer or unloading after a long stressful week. A smile etched its way across his lips and he tried not to giggle as Josh admitted to building his unpleasant odor.


Straw pointed at Josh as he mentioned of being sent back to Azkaban with Straw for his actions, “That’s not gonna happen, I wont let it!” Straw shook his head and smirked at Josh with a shrug, “What was I supposed to do mate?” Straw began a little too Australian like, “What if the maniac who did this got wind of what I was trying to do and came back to finish the job again? There’s no way Potter or Longbottom were going to believe me without some type of investigation and that’s IF they believe me in the first place.” Straw strongly believed in what he’d done and was honestly a little scared of loosing Josh all over again, which was something the man could not bring himself to go through again. After hearing about Josh’s death, Straw ha d blamed himself for not being there to help him. He was heart broken and spent many nights going over what he possibly could have done to save Josh that fateful night.

“I did what I’m sure you’d have done for me… and that was break you out” this last bit he said a little sheepishly. “Call me crazy but I really don’t care what happens, the fact is you’re alive and I’m gonna help you get your life back together… now… what’s you’re plan to convince Hermione? I’m 98% sure that she’s not gonna hex you on the spot so far” he smiled making lite of the situation.

[Joshua Chambers]

What was he going to do? Josh thought about it endlessly during his time in Azkaban. Every thought became a different method in which he approached Hermione. Eventually, these thoughts became dreams in which he saw her face again. He imagined it all happening so blissfully, but he knew in reality this news may not go over as well as he hoped it would. He was a fugitive now, whether he wanted to be or not. It would make things harder for him to clear his name, knowing he committed a crime in order to escape a lifelong sentence.

"Well mate" Josh began with a hint of a smile. He remembered that he once enjoyed it when his friend got excited and his Aussie accent took hold of his every word. He still enjoyed it now, it seemed. "I'm going to begin by taking a few proper showers. I have years of grime to scrub away. One bath won't be enough." It was more than just literal dirt that he wanted to wash away. He wanted to scrub away the last seven years.

He relaxed his arms, letting them fall to his sides. "Once I do that, I'll cut my hair. I doubt I'll be as recognizable if I keep it this long." Josh had never been one to keep on so much hair. With the exception of a bit of scruff from time to time, he'd always been mostly clean shaven. His hair was always kept short as well, but it had grown down to his shoulders. "After all that, I'll go to her. I approach her myself, and she'll see me and be convinced. She must."

[Straw Buckett]

“I don’t think a shower is gonna cut it,” Straw threw back at him. “I mean it’ll help and you could do with a trim,” and Straw stroked his own bead as he examined Josh, “but it’s been eight years. I think you need a better plan than a make over and rocking up. What if she hexes you?” Straw was actually a little nervous for the guy. He wanted to help and was doing all he could but after that conversation with Hermione, Straw couldn’t help but fear that Josh could very well end up dead and by the hands of his own wife.

“Like what would you do if the shoes were switched? You lost her, I came to you to say she wasn’t dead after all, you get mad and storm off feeling on the edge of hexing me yourself anyway… then bam she turns up all clean, shaven and new hair do… how does she convince you it’s her?” Straw understood Josh was fresh to being out and needing to really think and use his brain again but he couldn’t be that dumb. Hermione was a force to be reckoned with, even Straw knew he had to watch his words around her if he was going to keep his head. He’d always handed it to Josh for breaking down her walls and exposing a gentle fun side that no one ever got to see. Straw cared for Hermione, he really did and he just hoped she understood that. Straw would never intentionally try to hurt her.