A Very Very Unbirthday to you! To me?! (Queety)

[Straw Buckett]

[slightly delayed but not forgotten]

It was late, the sun had set, the street lamp lights flickered on as the temperature dropped and the air thinned. The beginning of term was approaching and letters of offer to Trios Hogwarts had gone out which meant long busy days of new eager wizards and witches preparing for the coming school year. This ultimately resulted in a certain owner of Flourish and Blotts spending the majority of her nights working late in the store tidying up, finishing paper work and being an over all well organised but exhausted, over worked and stressed Queety White. Now on any other day Straw would accept this girlfriends perfectionist ways however today was her birthday and Straw refused to let such an occasion be wasted away and forgotten.

Strategically Straw had asked if Kat would like to take the kids tonight and made sure he had the afternoon off. Making his way down dressed in plain black cloak. It wrapped tightly around his torso, ensuring no one saw what lay beneath it, that was for Queety's eyes only...

As predicted, Straw could see the closed sign hung up by the door but the light were still on within the store. There was a gentle bustle of people outside the store returning home with bags of goodies or heading out to eat at one of the many restaurants that surrounded Diagon Alley. Softly he pushed open the store door, which gave the tinniest ring as he entered. The room was empty, silent from a busy day of excited families preparing for the semester. The counter was a few paces in and unoccupied, Straw knew by this time Queety would have sent the staff home for the day and be somewhere within the shelves doing her own bits and bobs to the store that she loved so much. They were definitely alone.

He could hear movement in the shelves but decided he wouldn’t announce his presence too quickly. In fact Straw wanted to stay hidden. Taking the opportunity, Straw ensured the store door was first locked then preceded to pull the blinds of the shop door and single window down. Moving quickly he positioned a single wooden chair in middle of the room, there he placed one long stemmed black rose upon the seat. He reached into his pocket and withdrew several candles, he placed them on the floor and flicked his wand. The candles came to life with a gentle blue flame. They began to hover in the air much similar to that of the great hall at Hogwarts. Then using his wand one more time, Straw muttered a spell which turned off all the lights, sending the store into darkness, and, taking careful steps to not trip over anything, found a special hiding spot and waiting for her return.

[Queety White]

Queety swore under her breath as the lights in the store disappeared. She pulled her wand out of her back pocket and muttered "Lumos," so she could see where she was going. She looked at all the numbers that she had written down as she was calculating the day's profits. This time of year saw a surge in profits with the influx of new students but it meant the employees had to work harder and she had to stay later. She loved being surrounded by books and instilling the excitement of bound paper with others but it was this part of the job that she despised. She wanted to work quickly tonight because she was sure Straw and the kids planned some sort of dinner or dessert for her birthday. It's not every day your young woman turns 25 you know... 

She had not made a big deal about turning a quarter of a century. Her mind had been busy between her job, getting the kids ready to start primary school in September, and stressing about what Straw was up to whenever he snuck out of the house, likely to visit this guy who claimed to be Josh. Queety still was not comfortable with the whole idea but she kept silent about it, aside from frequent warnings to be careful and not get caught. Needless to say, she had been very stressed out recently. And today's larger than usual influx of new students made her day even longer. At least she had received a few owls from friends with birthday cards and small gifts. Now, she was eager to get her work done so she could get out of here and back home to her family. The lights turning off did not help the situation one bit. 

After she had finished with the calculations, she grabbed a few books off the counter to put back on the shelves, grateful to be almost ready to go. Using her wand to guide her, she noticed that the blinds and window were shut. She found it strange, but figured one of her employees had done it and continued on. It was then that she noticed a flickering light. "Knox." Queety held her breath. Was she being robbed? She quietly put the books down and then began walking towards the flickering light, going through all the possible spells and charms she could remember that could defend her against an uninvited guest. She had faced many dangerous situations in the past and had more experiences facing foes than she would have liked, but this did not mean she was any less willing to run into this confrontation. She was no Gryffindor who jumped head first into danger for fun. No, she was the creative Mihael trying to figure out the best way to approach the situation so that it required little memory of how to counter difficult spells. 

She came around the corner of the shelf, her wand out in front of her and saw it. The candles continued to flicker as they floated around the chair with the rose lying on it. Queety glanced around her, but could not see much with the blue glow that filled the area. She cautiously moved forward to the chair and reached forward to pick up the rose. She held it between her fingers, wondering how this flower got here. It was beautiful. 

[Straw Buckett]

(Link to music/example)


The suspense was killing him; no one loved a good surprised more than Straw, especially when it came to his family. He waited patiently as Queety stumbled back to the front and found the rose. Straw had remembered the black rose was her favourite and made a special request with the team of Aurors who were headed to Turkey for a particular mission last week. He’d later owe McDuff a beer for his gallant effort as this was about to score him some major boyfriend points… well he hoped.

As Queety picked up the rose, Straw struggled to not laugh. The running commentary in her head would have been hilarious to him but he needed to keep a low profile a moment longer. Keeping his voice low, Straw made another special incantation. He popped his head around the corner from where he hid and pointed his wand at Queety’s back. A smooth but forceful gust of wind erupted from the end of his wand and pushed her into the chair. Knowing she wasn’t the best person to put off balance, Straw against struggled to contain himself but had faith she’d fall into the chair and wait for her performance.

He gave her a moment to readjust before taking off his robe. Underneath he wore nothing but tight white underpants and just a single white button down Muggle business shirt, which was slightly unbuttoned down his chest. Straw kicked off his shoes revealing ankle length white socks and proceed to put on black sunglasses, possibly a mistake with the lack of light he’d created in the shop. He messed his hair up once more before waving his wand. This caused a single light to pop on revealing an open area five meters in front of the chair that Queety now sat upon. The light illuminated the wooden floor creating an almost stage for her to watch. Taking no time Straw says his last spell and steps out from his hiding spot however leaves the smallest runway to the stage that he’d created.

There’s a pause before his personally designed spell takes effect. The classic piano tones of Bob Seger’s ‘Old Time Rock n Roll’ begin to play and Straw takes a running start and slides into view in front of Queety, his back facing her. He face is serious and he pauses to wait for the lyrics to kick in. As soon as he hears the first line, Straw spins on the spot to face Queety and flicks the collar of his shirt up around his neck. He then proceeds to dance, trying to be dorky (which wasn’t hard) but slightly sexy as possible. He uses his wand for a pretend microphone and mouths the words for her, never really singing himself of course. Straw dances close to Queety and proceeds to give her a lap dance. Ripping his shirt open a little more to reveal his muscular torso. He moves it close enough for her to touch but before she can, turns around and shakes his bottom at her as the song continues. He dances and prances his way in front struggling not to laugh as he watches her facial expressions.

[Queety White]

Whatever Queety was expecting, it definitely was not this. 

As she stared at the flower, wondering where it had come from, she felt the gust of wind on her back. She screamed, thinking that she was being attacked. As she fell forward onto the chair, a million different scenarios played through her head, most of them involving evil wizards attacking her or just some robbers trying to take her hard earned profits. Nowhere on her mind was the thought of her boyfriend planning to giving her a birthday show. By the time she had turned around and had her wand out in front of her again, the spotlight appeared. 

As the music played, she slowly moved her wand down. She recognized the song and it did not seem to fit in with her image of a robbery or evil plot. For half a second, her mind wandered back to a old muggle movie she had once seen, almost instinctively as the piano was playing. But there was no way that-

And there he was. Queety's jaw dropped as Straw slid under the spotlight. And as he began to dance, she burst out laughing. This was not a something she was expecting in the slightest. As Straw continued to lipsync the words, Queety could feel tears filling her eyes from laughing so hard. It was amazing how despite the struggles and hardships and responsibilities in their lives that have aged them, Straw always managed to keep his goofy, child-like personality and pull stunts like these. One was never too old to act like a kid once in a while. And on this day celebrating the milestone of a quarter century of living, Queety definitely needed this reminder that it was okay to be silly once in a while and be a kid. This, among many reasons, was why she loved him. 

As he moved closer to her and began the lap dance, Queety tried to reach forward with hopes of pulling him close into a kiss. But before she had a chance to, he was turned around and shaking his bum. It's not like she had not seen him in this state of undress before, but she could not help but notice and appreciate what a nice, sexy butt he had. She playfully slapped his bum and fell into a fit of giggles as she waited for him to complete his little show. 

When he did, she wiped away the tears that had managed to escape her eyes and began to applaud. "Bravo! Bravo! You sure know how to make an entrance, Buckett! Now, come here." She got up from the seat and grabbed his shirt so she could pull him back onto the chair on top of her. "You can't be teasing me like that," she said in a low voice before she pulled him closer and kissed him. 

[Straw Buckett]

(Press when you read ‘music began to ring through the air’)

The music faded and Straw strutted his way back to Queety nice and slow, holding eye contact and keeping a pout upon his face as he did so. “Happy birthday baby” he growled as he came within arms reach to which she pulled him close and kissed him. Straw had put a lot of thought and effort behind his little performance, one he’d kept hidden and chose not to share with anyone, not even Logan. This was for Queety, just for her and only her eyes and imagination. Straw wasn’t the most creative but he loved her dearly and knew what would make her laugh.

“You liked that?” he smiled between kisses, there was something about her lips tonight that he just couldn't get enough of, “Cos I’m not finished yet” he panted with a grin and pulled quickly away from her before she'd seduced him to stay. Reaching for his wand, Straw muttered another spell and music began to ring through the air. This song was slower and perhaps sexier than the last. With a second wave, Straw turned his wand into his own fog machine. The room slowly filled with a light fog that slowly oozed from his wand. He placed it on the ground and began to gyrate with his hip in time with the beat. Before Queety could say anymore he began to slowly rip his shirt off revealing his bare naked torso. He tossed it at her with a smile and followed the strip with thrusting his crotch to the music. He cleverly fell to the ground and began to do a military style crawl towards her, stopping to hump the floor a few times before performing a few push-ups, he even managed to switch to a few one handed push ups too. There he stopped and began to perform the worm before jumping back up to his feet. He then ran up the stairs and slid back down using the banister. He winked at Queety and slowly began to dance closer however he noticed the store’s counter in his peripheral vision. Thinking he could use it to somehow in his routine, Straw changed direction and jumped on top. There he continued to gyrate when he stepped on some papers, slipped and fell off the counter.

With an all mighty thump, Straw landed awkwardly on his right wrist. “Arhhh,” he cried out feeling the all too familiar pain of a broken bone. “crap, crap, crap” was all he managed as he sat up and tried to cradle his broken wrist.

[Queety White]

Queety gave a fake pout as Straw pulled away from her. "No come back!" she cried out. But he had already begun his next routine so she clapped her hands in excitement and let the huge smile grow on her face. Straw definitely did not do anything halfway, whether it came to his professional or personal life. And now that his shirt had come off, Queety was really wishing they were not in the middle of Flourish and Blotts but rather in the privacy of their own bedroom. The temptation was getting hard to resist, especially when he was doing those pushups and she could see his muscles bulging. There were definitely some perks to having an auror for a boyfriend, as their physique made them great eye candy. 

Then Straw was doing the worm and Queety remembered that he was a huge dork (albeit a sexy dork). She burst out laughing again as he began doing more and more ridiculous stunts like sliding down the banister and jumping onto the counter. However, her smile instantly faded as she saw his foot step on the papers she had left there and lose his balance. It was like watching everything in slow motion as she saw him fall off the counter. She quickly ran through all the fog that he had created earlier and over to the ground where he now lay holding his wrist.

Queety was no mediwitch but she could easily see that the angle his wrist was bent was not a normal way for it to go. 

She pulled out her wand to make the music stop so they could both focus on the wrist. She was afraid to touch it because she did not want to cause him any more pain. But she could tell by the look on his face that it was quite painful already. "I'm supposed to be the clumsy one," she joked with a small smile. "Don't tell me we've been together long enough to pick up on each other's personality traits.

"But seriously, what should we do?" she asked. "There's now way I'd be able to use Brackium Emendo correctly. You'll just end up with a boneless chicken wing."

[Straw Buckett]

Straw was both laughing but grimacing in pain. “I know right, what can I say, you've rubbed off on me White,” he tried to joke but winced once more as a new wave of agony rushed through him. “Yeah narh I don’t trust myself either… think we need the professionals.”

Straw closes his eyes in both pain and embarrassment; this was not how he’d planned ending the evening. A romantic a heart, he’d hoped his dance may have led to Queety dragging him somewhere dark into the store to reenact some possible fantasy. The librarian and delivery boy! She had been his best friend for such a long time that now that they were more there was a whole new world of shenanigans for them to explore together as a couple. He’d never asked but often wondered if she did have any particular fantasies that she wanted to act out with him. He certainly had created a mental list and despite they’re long history as friends, he wasn’t surprised at how easy it was to be more with her. She never made it awkward, despite her adorable clumsiness, never made it weird and seemed to just love him for who he was. He loved that about her and wondered why it has taken him so long to make the move.

Queety looked like she was about to help him up, “Wait” he instructed despite being in a lot of discomfort. “I just wanted to say thankyou. Thanks for being the most awesome mother to the kids, best girlfriend I think I’ve ever had. You spoil me every day with your love and before you cart me off to be ridiculously embarrassed by medical staff at the St Mungos I wanted to tell you a secret..” Straw paused for effect before continuing, “I had one more surprise for you and this wasn’t how I wanted to reveal it… but I’m wearing a thong...” his eyes watched hers for a reaction, “A sparkly, golden thong…. underneath” and he whispered that last bit despite no one else being in the room.

[Queety White]

"You did what?" Queety asked, her eyebrows raised. Forgetting for a moment about the broken wrist, she reached forward and pulled his underwear down just slightly to reveal the sparkly thong. She let go of the waistband in surprise and it snapped back against him. "Oops, sorry," she muttered, glad for the dim light because she was pretty sure her face was turning darker from all the blood rushing to it. Were the surprises not going to end? 

Queety then couldn't help but begin giggling again. The measures that Straw had gone just to surprise her for her birthday were unbelievable. No one ever treated her with such love and care like he did. She sometimes felt a little insecure about their relationship but it was times like this evening that reminded her that Straw really cared about her and loved her. He would always be the one to make her smile in the end.  

"You're really charming," she said with a warm smile. "And thank you for being the best boyfriend I've ever had and caring about me so much. And for making every day of my life a wonderful adventure. Oh... and for ridiculously fun stunts like this one. It's never a dull moment with you. Now let's get you to St. Mungo's and get that wrist looked at. We'll pick up where we left off after a trip to the hospital."

She was very careful as she helped him to a standing position. She ran over to grab the shirt he had ripped off earlier. However, as she put it on him, she realized that in removing the shirt, he had actually caused some permanent tears in the fabric. Well it would have to do as there did not seem to be any other clothing available and Straw's wrist looked like it was really starting to swell up. She then wrapped her arm around Straw's waist for alongside apparation. 

"I really hope Kelly's not working tonight. She'd make fun of us for it til we're 50 years old," Queety muttered before she spun in that spot, sending her and Straw to St. Mungo's. click to continue