Can't Find My Way Home... [Reserved]

[Professor Sebastiania Bouvier]

Reserved for the Lysander Deimos Sinclair.

[/size][/center]

...but it's through you,
and I know what I'll do just to get
back into your arms.

[/color]

Sebastiania walked down to the lake in a depressed mood. Lysander and Brendon had left her again. No note, no letters, no anything. She was used to Brendon coming and leaving so that it didn't bother her as much. But Lysander of the two should have known much better than just to leave Sebastiania by herself without no excuse.

Since the two boys, and her only friends, had disappeared there was no one to talk to. No one wanted to talk to her. Not that she didn't have a complete problem with it but it was lonely always by yourself. She didn't even have Demetrius with her. He was with Lysander. Hopefully whereever their kitten was he was safe and with Lysander. Sebastiania couldn't bring herself to think of what might have happened to them both.

If Lysander had ever decided to come back or write of all things she had a few choice of words to say at him. Didn't he care about her a teeny bit? Teeny bit to write that he was okay and he wasn't off in a ditch or in an alley way or at home of all places.

Why should I care? He left and he's not coming back. He hasn't been here for two weeks so why should he ever come back. It's not worth staying up all night wondering when he'll come back. Lysander didn't like hanging around you anyway. He was too quiet and seemed so unsure around you.

But we did go to Hogsmeade. He got me a shirt and I got him one. No, he was just doing that because I was buying him a shirt. Bet he doesn't even like it one bit.[/color] Sebastiania sighed as she looked at her shirt. It was the one Lysander had bought for her that seemed ages ago. The shirt had been thrown to the bottom of her trunk when she got mad at Lysander for leaving without no note or anything. It had come to the surface when all her other clothes were dirty.

"Does your gun know my gun? This is how the world will end," she sang to herself. Her parents had sent her the new Atreyu cd and she was obsessed with it. It was so good and she couldn't understand why other people hated the cd. Just because Alex wasn't screaming at the top of his lungs.

Sebastiania walked to the edge of the grass where the lake sand and the grass met. She didn't want to get wet. For one thing she was too cold. It was eighty-three degrees and she was freezing. Seb had worn her new My Chemical Romance hoodie for the past three days since she felt so cold. Everyone thought she was crazy but she knew better.

The Gryffindor brought her legs close to her and put her arms around them. Her chin went on her knees as she looked at the calm water. Calling, calling out the darkest reaches of my soul,[/color], she sang to herslef in her head. I should just go back home. It's better that way.[/size][/font]

[lys]

I feel like I'm spinning out of control.
Try to focus but every thing's twisted.
And all along I thought you would be there
To let me know I'm not alone,
But in fact that's exactly what I was.

Extended absence. That was what it had been. He hadn't meant to stir up any trouble and had even taken Demetrius with him on his 'trip'. And where may the Sinclair have gone? Well, home for lack of a better word. No. A house. Empty. It couldn't be considered home. Home was where you could come to at any time and know everything would be okay. He harbored no such comforts. His mother was stationed in the hospital at this time due to an accident. Father was who knows where. Apparently his wife wasn't an important enough reason to come home. Bastard.

Lips curled into a spiteful scowl and green hues darkened. Though both parents paid him little attention, at least his mother had [at first] made an effort to raise him. She didn't deserve the treatment father was placing upon her. He should have come to see her, to make sure she was going to be alright. Oh but of course not. Yet Lysander would leave school in order to check up on her well-being. He supposed, either way, they were his parents so he was entitled to make sure they remained alright. To check up on them. Whether or not they deserved it did not matter though he was beginning to think it did matter where his father was concerned.

A glance was thrown to the shirt he'd thrown on in his hurry to get outside. It had felt too stuffy up in the dorms. His eyes softened slightly and lost their sharp edge as he stared down at it, feet immobile. It was the shirt he'd been bought when out with Sebastiania in Hogsmeade. Hn. It made him wonder if she truly kept that shirt he bought her in the first place. He supposed his sudden disappearance would be more then enough reason for her to be spiteful. And truly? If she was to yell or slap him, he wouldn't blame her. His fault; that's exactly what it was. Pay the consequences he must.

However so far he'd seen neither head nor tail of the missus he had come to know and accept as a friend. Gradually he moved his suddenly heavy feet and started down toward the lake. He should just go back inside... rest... get ready for the next day. Draw even. It had been such a long time since he'd last drawn... So long... A meow caught his attention and his eyes drifted to the small black kitten nestled in his arms. Just for the feline, he cracked a smile. Demetrius snuggled up against his chest and he only gave him a slight squeeze.

"We'll be at the lake soon. Then you can play..." I'll play with you.

Dragging his feet would suffice for what he was currently doing. Ah, the once "proud" [insert laughter] Sinclair was dragging his feet like a little school boy; sulking. Moping. They would accomplish nothing really. Except perhaps lowering his spirits further. At least Demetrius was behaving and not out to get him. It was plenty better then should he actually be squirming and clawing at the poor Mihael boy's arms. It was just cause more irritation on Lysander's part. As if he didn't feel unhappy enough as it was.

In a few minutes he found himself at the start of the bank. The toes of his shoes dug into the sand and left indentations. For a moment he just stared at the marks before lifting his head and staring out across the gigantic lake. A slight bite on his arm made him give a semi-flinch and he glanced down. Demetrius was starting to wiggle about. He wanted free. With a sigh, Sinclair placed him on the ground. Without pause the feline scampered off. His green orbs followed the kitten before pausing entirely, slowly widening. Sebastiania. Only one word hit him; crap. He wasn't up to encountering her just yet but apparently Fate was not in his favor this time around.

So with a breath, he strode over to the hunched over figure. He stopped when he stood directly in front of her, gazing down. "Hey..."

[Professor Sebastiania Bouvier]

"It begins with a dark glowing ember,something black burning it's way out of me. Searing the flesh, pain is the only thing I feel, scars all I see.

"Oh no the fire's burning my insides again, what can I do to silence my desire tonight? Flames consuming reason leaving only ashes left you will catch me for regretting my decision, I can't keep telling myself what I want to hear, I can't just close my eyes." she sang to herself.

Sebastiania honestly felt like crying. But the thought of only babies cried made her not cry. She didn't want to be a whiny baby. The Gryffindor sniffled and sighed. Why did she have to feel this way? Sebastiania thought she would be used to this; being alone.

"I know that it's killing me, and it's poisoning the best in me, but I say, I don't want to believe. What I see, I don't want to believe. So let me tell you more tell you more about the lies I lead."

Her arms moved tighter around her. Sebastiania sniffled again. He didn't have enough decentcy to even write to say he was okay. What's the point of even thinking about him? He's not worth it; like every other guy out there in the world. Not worth anything. I should have known every guy is the same. Just because they are always quiet doesn't mean they're different. Guys are so stupid.

"That is how i choose to douce the flames in gasoline. Broken teeth replace the blackout memories in my head. Wreckage from the past haunts me, shake me to the bone, to the bone. I know it's over but I can't go home tonight."

"Hey..."

Her brown eyes shot up. Lysander. A hateful look on her face was shone. She looked away from him. What was he there for? Shouldn't he be away? Sebastiania looked back at him thinking she was childish for turning her head the way she did.

She got up and stared at him. "Se que étions vous réflexion? Vous didn't écrivons myself ou quelque chose. J'étais soucieux écoeuré! Se que c'est tort à vous Lysander Sinclair?! Vous savez que soucieux I've été? Enchanté expliquer vous-même?," she said in French. Whenever she got really really mad she spoke in French.

Her left hand was raised [since she's left handed] ready to smack Lysander as hard as she could. But she couldn't slap him. Sebastiania put her arms around him and cried. "I'm just glad you're back." "Do that ever again and I will slap you."

Sebastiania looked to the ground. There was Demetrius. He was safe. Another tear fell and she wiped it away. She was so mad at them both but she was happy they were okay. Protective much.

[Translation to Sebastiania's rave. "What were you thinking? You didn't write me or anything. I was worried sick! What is wrong with you Lysander Sinclair?! You know how worried I've been? How do you explain yourself?" Don't believe me? Check here.][/size][/color]

[lys]

Inwardly he flinched at the look of hate spread across her face. Her usually cheerful face. He caught his tongue, not allowing himself to mutter those two words. I'm sorry. He had the feeling that she wasn't quite done with him just yet and that's what stopped him from uttering a word. She had all rights to be upset though. He retained the silence, eyes focused on one side of her face. Turned away. Figures... He never did have someone close to him. So however would he keep them? Green hues flashed slightly when she turned toward him.

A half a step backwards was what he took when she stood. Sinclair hadn't a clue as to what to expect. Nothing. So he remained in his small bout of uncertainty, waiting. And the wait certainly wasn't long in the least. She went off on him alright. In French to be more precise. His lips were pressed together in a thin line, enduring the yelling. When she seemed finished, her left hand raised and Lysander closed bother eyes; silently bracing himself. However the hit never came. Instead Sebastiania wrapped her arms around him in a hug.

It was shock when he felt water start to soak through his shirt. Tears. Slowly he wrapped his arms around her and allowed one hand to rub down the expanse of her back. He gave a slight nod at her command and only then did he open his eyes. He followed her gaze to the ground and pulled back, then scooping up Demetrius into his arms. With a sigh, he pushed his banes to the side so both eyes were fully visible.

"I'm sorry for not saying anything... Demetrius and I missed you."

Sinclair turned his head to the side and started to automatically stroke the feline's fur. After not too long, it had turned into a habit. One that he couldn't seem to kick. However he supposed it didn't quite matter. Demetrius was quite happy with the habit so there was no reason at all why he should be unhappy with it. At least the kitten was soft... A thought struck him and he shifted said feline over to one sider. He reached out and grasped one of Sebastiania's hands before starting to walk a bit.

Only a few feet down from where they had been standing he stopped. There was a tree nearby... His eyes lit up a bit when he saw it and he continued over that way. When he reached it, he released her hand and leaned against it. For a moment he did say anything, brows furrowed; before placing Demetrius on the ground. The feline immediately scampered after a small butterfly that apparently hadn't gone yet. Dark green hues followed him attentively.

"I know you're probably not happy with me. I don't expect you to be. Rather, I expect you to hate me perhaps... I apologize for making you cry. It wasn't my intention..."

[Professor Sebastiania Bouvier]

Sebastiania continued to tear a bit. She couldn't tell you why she was crying. The only thing she could probably tell you was that she was just glad Lysander and Demetrius were okay and back in school. Lysander probably did not know worried Sebastiania had been that he had left. It was so random and she hoped that wouldn't happen again.

Lysander suprised her when he rubbed her back. He was comforting her. She was suprised that he even did that. Seb thought that he would have stiffened up like he usually did when she touched him. But it was a nice change that Lysander had made.

The Gryffindor felt sad when the Mihael had let her go. Lysander had picked up their kitten. Sebastiania kissed Demetrius' head repeatly.

"I'm sorry for not saying anything... Demetrius and I missed you."

Sebastiania shook her head and stopped tearing up. "It's okay. At least I know you're okay. I thought something happened to you and Deme. I thought it was something I did." She smiled. Lysander had missed her. That was a shock to her. Sebby knew that he didn't hate her but he was usually quiet around her. "I missed you both too. Sorry I went off on you in French. I've been known to do that when I'm really really angry."

The Mihael had yet again shocked Sebastiania when he grabbed her hand and began walking. Before Lysander had began moving Sebastiania was the one to freeze up. Then she walked beside him as he walked toward a tree. He let go of her hand and she frowned a bit. Why do I care if he hugs me or holds my hand? Is it because it is something Lysander would never do? Why is this so confusing?

He put Demetrius on the ground and leaned against the tree. Her brown eyes just watched him. She could tell Lysander felt bad for not telling her. At least she got her point across. Her eyes drifted to his shirt. It was the one she bought for him. Sebastiania felt like giving the Mihael the biggest hug he ever got from her. They were wearing the shirts they got for each other. It made her extremely happy that he actually wore it.

"I know you're probably not happy with me. I don't expect you to be. Rather, I expect you to hate me perhaps... I apologize for making you cry. It wasn't my intention..."

Sebastiania shook her head again and put her arms back around him. She put her cheek against his shoulder. "I'm actually quite happy with you. I don't hate you. I could never hate you Lysander. You should know me well enough by now, even with my French ravings," she smiled. "You are easily forgiven. I know you mean you're sorry. I'm just suprised is all."

She hoped that he would hug her back. Her eyes watched Demetrius run after a butterfly. He was truely adorable.[/size]

[lys]

Ahh, the wonders of the affects of simple hugs. Poor Lysander stiffened slightly but almost immediately relaxed. He hadn't expected another hug. Let alone so soon. Rather he just expected a simple answer... Oh but that was asking for too much, wasn't it? Of course, of course. So he had to be hugged just to screw with his already scrambled mind. However he supposed he didn't mind the contact all that much. It felt... nice... to be cared for. So with a sigh he wrapped his arms around her once more. Deep green hues drifted over to the one named Demetrius. The butterfly seemed to be playing a game with him now. Getting oh-so close to his paws and maw before fluttering out of reach.

But said feline didn't seem to find it as amusing as he did. His play-thing kept flying away after all. Lysander rested his chin on Sebastiania's head. Seemingly 'forgetting' to let her go as of yet. It wasn't quite occurring to him to do that as of yet. He was comfortable; why should he move? She could move if she so wished it. He'd just be slightly... unhappy... with such a thing. Hn. Perhaps he just needed a very long vacation... or to sleep more... Whichever came first. His last leave couldn't exactly be considered a "vacation" though so it was all good.

Sinclair soon found one of his traitorous hands playing with a few strands of Sebastiania's hair. Traitorous indeed. Hn... At least it wasn't that bright shade of pink anymore. As used to it as he was, pink really didn't appeal to him in any way. Neutral colors worked for that. And currently, he really didn't know what more to do than stand here. He felt... awkward. Unsure as to what to do with himself. It wasn't unusual for him to feel this way. Actually, it tended to happen at most times around other people. Specifically Sebastiania.

As though his life hadn't already been confusing enough. Crushing on someone hadn't been on his list of things to do while here. However that got changed around quite a bit. Falling for this Gryffindor of all things... Perhaps he was meant to be miserable. Yet it's amazing that even though she was currently in his arms, not once did it occur to him that just maybe she liked him back. Or something to that extent. It's amazing how ignorant one can be when it comes to certain topics. These sort of things were to be the death of people... After all; love is the slowest form of suicide. It didn't matter how you cut it. That remained the truth; in his mind anyhow. He couldn't think of it in any other way.

At least Demetrius didn't have to deal with these sort of problems. Lucky feline...

[Professor Sebastiania Bouvier]

There was nothing to say in the moment. Why should she say anything? He didn't have to say anything. The silence was kind of nice for a change. No one had to say anything at all, just stand there wondering to yourself.

Lysander put his arms back around her and she closed her eyes for a few moments. Sebastiania was just letting everything set in. She never thought she had a crush on Lysander. Never once had she even thought about it. If Lysander did ask her out then she would say yes. But if he never asked then it wouldn't be the cause of her death.

Sebastiania felt his chin on her head. Her eyes opened and looked up without moving her head. She couldn't see him and moving her eyes up hurt. The Gryffindor looked to Demetrius who was not liking the butterfly one bit. The butterfly was getting the best of the poor little black kitten. Rip out the wings of a butterfly for your soul. Demetrius and the butterfly reminded her of H.I.M.'s song.

Lysander played with the strands of her hair. She didn't mind one bit at all. Sebastiania closed her eyes again and listened to Lysander breathe.

What is going on? Why am I still hugging him? This isn't hugging. Hugging is when you put your arms around someone and then let go. A greating. This isn't a greeting. My arms are still around him. But it's nice. I don't want to let go. Am I afraid he'll leave? No, I just want to be held? Do I want to be held onto?

Sebastiania took a deep breath. Why aren't we saying anything? Well I really don't have anything to say to him. What can I say? 'Thanks'? Why are we doing this? Does he want me to let go of him? But I don't want to let go. I like this. Odd. This is comfortable. He's not stiff as a board for once. She opened her eyes and bit her lip. Seb had to say something. But what?

Her eyes drifted to Demetrius. Lucky cat. Nothing was confusing in his little world. Sebastiania sighed and looked up at Lysander. She stared at him for a few moments trying to read his expression. Lysander was good at composing his face. Her head titled slightly trying to figure out what he was thinking. Did he like her hugging holding him like this?

Well I have to say something. Sebastiania took another deep breath. "I don't know what to say," she said turning a bit red in the cheeks. "Are you comfortable? Do you want me to let you go? Is this disturbing you any?" He was probably as shocked as she was. Sebastiania was shocked at herself for doing this.

Lysander wasn't the one she expected to like. At first he didn't seem to even want to be bothered by her. Now he was hugging holding her and playing with her brown hair.[/size]

[lys]

It was... quiet... He'd been starting to become more accustomed to noise within the past few... months, was it? For some reason it didn't feel that long at all. No. It felt much shorter then that yet he couldn't fathom why. Yet he wouldn't think on it for now. Later then. When he was alone. He sighed, watching a couple strands of brown become displaced. Demetrius still danced around with that butterfly, and Sinclair could swear he was becoming increasingly irritated. Ahh, poor kitten. Tch. At least he didn't share the same problems as a human did. Lucky, lucky kitten... though he swore he already thought of this before. And probably had.

A small frown made itself known on his lips. Why was Sebastiania enduring this anyhow? He couldn't imagine why, smart boy he is. Either his thoughts were working slowly or he was just the slightest bit oblivious. Either way, it still managed to confuse him. He lifted his head slightly and shifted when she turned her head upward. However he kept his expression calm and practically unreadable. All the same he didn't remove his hand, instead continuing his 'play time' with her hair. Seeing as she didn't seem to mind he didn't see any real harm in it.

The silence for but a few more following moments before anyone actually said anything. 'Anyone' being Sebastiania in this case. His fingers stilled in her hair, brows furrowed slightly as she asked her questions. Green drifted down and he cocked his head to the side, one brow raised. Her cheeks were flushed a light pink and it caused a smile to play on his lips. For the moment, he didn't answer her. He was debating on just what it was he should say... The truth would work, would it not? He never had been one to beat around the bush.

"Miss Bouvier; I enjoy your company so therefore I am comfortable, I won't let you go, and I don't find this the least bit disturbing."

There was finality in his tone as he spoke. Lysander meant what he said whether others believed it or not. Specifically Sebastiania. Besides, if he had find it disturbing in any way he would have pushed her away or at least not have full returned her hug. His brows furrowed a slight bit as his mind drifted to another topic. Should he risk asking her out? Ahh, when put that way it made him sound like such a wimp... Yet he still wasn't quite sure. She was his first real 'friend' here and he truly didn't want to ruin their friendship or make it awkward in any way. It wouldn't feel... right.

[Professor Sebastiania Bouvier]

Sebastiania waited for Lysander to speak as he continued to play with the strands of her hair. She was getting a little anxious as he depated what he should say. The Mihael seemed like he was in a deep deep thought. Seb continued to try to read his expression and was unsuccessful. Of course. No one could read Lysander's expressions but himself.

"Miss Bouvier; I enjoy your company so therefore I am comfortable, I won't let you go, and I don't find this the least bit disturbing."

His words stunned the Gryffindor. So much for being brave. Sebastiania smiled up at Lysander. Did he really mean his words? It sounded like the Mihael did mean those words. The thought of the words made her smile more. Lysander smiled with her and she giggled.

Sebastiania moved his hair out of his face. "Don't make me get my bow out. I got a black one now and a gray and a white. Now you have no excuse for not liking it." she teased. Seb moved her arms to around Lysander's waist and put her head back near his shoulder.

Her eyes drifted to their kitten. Demetrius was about to kill that butterfly. The butterfly was so mean! It would come near his paws then flutter away at the last minute as Deme wanted to catch it. Darn that butterfly. Demetrius would have his revenge!

Lysander was no longer in his 'stop like a deer in the headlights of a car' stage as Sebastiania had put it. She rubbed her cheek against his shirt a bit. I won't let you go. Sebastiania smiled more at the words he had spoken.

Seb would ask Lysander where he was these last two weeks but it was none of her business. If Lysander wanted to tell her then he would. She wouldn't pry.

"What do you want to do Mister Sinclair?" Sebastiania looked from Demetrius to Lysander again.[/size]

[lys]

A smirk upturned his lips as she moved his hair to the side. He waited until she placed her head back against his chest-shoulder before shaking his head enough so the banes fell neatly back into place. His tongue made a clucking noise against the roof of his mouth and he shook his head in a hopeless fashion. Though it was immediately followed up by; "We can try gray first then go from there."

It was a teasing tone he used for that comment. Perhaps he would actually follow through with that. Sebastiania would owe him one though. It was only fair. His own green eyes drifted over to Demetrius. Yes... that butterfly was very much doomed as soon as the feline managed to land a paw on it. Really there was no doubt in it. Sad thing though that such a beautiful insect would be 'sacrificed'. Hn; as was the ways of life-- the food chain.

Constantly he followed the kitten's path and patterns. Demetrius would have to change it up a bit... The butterfly swooped down once more and came quite a bit closer to the feline's paws than earlier on. So then, he was beginning to catch on. Before long he would succeed in his attempts. For now though it would just prove to be 'The Show'.

He was snapped out of the 'proceedings' when Sebastiania once again spoke to him. He thought on the question for a moment. To do...? He wasn't all that sure. Honestly he was quite comfortable where he was. Sitting would be preferred though. However that would be a bit of a problem with his declaration to not let her go. He wasn't quite all that prone to it really.

"I would prefer to be sitting currently... Would you object sitting in my lap?"

Ahh; straightforward Lysander. A danger to the world. He was always more shocking that way. Yet, as fate would have it, a meow caught his attention and his eyes snapped back to the other scene. Demetrius had something between his paws and seemed quite... ecstatic. He caught the butterfly, did he? He could see its wings fluttering feebly beneath the small padded paws before fading all together. It was like a tragic story... But green carefully returned to Sebastiania.

Perhaps he was being a bit... bold.

[Professor Sebastiania Bouvier]

Grey bow for Lysander. She would never let this down. Sebastiania let Lysander go to dig through her hoodie pocket to find a gray bow. "Nope, that's black. No, white. Got it." She found the gray one and looked back at Lysander. His hair was back in his face. Sebastiania smiled and shook her head. "What am I going to do with you?," she teased.

She unclipped the gray bow and clipped it to his bangs a bit. There purtiful. "Don't you look pretty smexy Lysander. With that bow I might have to keep the girls off of you," she teased.

Sitting in Lysander's lap? When did this start happening? When she first met the Mihael he was all, 'Don't touch me' type and silent. Now he was going, 'I won't let you go' and 'Would you object to sitting in my lap?' What happened to the old Lysander? Sebastiania would miss the old Lysander but she liked this new one too. He was even beginning to talk more.

"No I wouldn't object. I don't have a problem with it if you don't." She actually felt a bit hesitant to sit in his lap. First it was all two second hugs to actually hugging. Then it was moved on to just standing there holding each other silently. Now it was sitting on his lap. This kind of suprised her but it was different.

Her brown eyes looked to Demetrius; they went wide. The butterfly was in his paws. Rip out the wings of a butterfly for your soul. The gods kneel before our crime. So rip out the wings of a butterfly. Being a vegetarian Sebastiania gasped; even though the butterfly wasn't meat. "Demetrius Bouvier-Sinclair," she said. "Let that butterfly go."

If Demetrius wanted to keep the butterfly then he could. It was the way of life and Sebastiania would get over it. "You're a good hunter. Oh yes you are. Such a big boy," she said babying the kitten.[/size]

[lys]

A hand pressed hesitantly against the bow now lodged in his hair. She actually had them on her...? He shook his head in exasperation and tugged lightly on his dark locks. Sinclair cocked his head to the side when she called him 'smexy'. Wow. Smexy. Not even a real word... Another shake of his head. Somehow he sincerely doubted that one comment on girls. Actually he doubted the smexy part too. He wouldn't say anything though. Another light tug, only this time on the newly inserted gray bow. Hn...

Silence. So quiet... He looked over at Demetrius for a moment. The feline was still firmly holding down that butterfly. Before long it would no longer be able to fly... then it would die... The way of life. It was a morbid thing to think about, he supposed. But there was just something so interesting about life and death. Even the butterfly proved that in certain points. Who else? Mother... Ahh; but those were depressing thoughts. He shouldn't be so focused on those. It would ruin his composure. Later, he promised.

Yet Sebastiania's voice distracted him from his wandering line of thought and his eyes widened slightly. He didn't believe she'd actually agree to his suggestion. Rather, he believed she would decline and just sit next to him. His body stiffened slightly of its own accord. Idiot. You don't ask for things and then freeze up, he berated himself relentlessly for a moment. What was that one...?

'Be careful what you wish for; you may just get it.'

Lysander didn't say a word, bowing his head. His banes did not fall as they usually would with that addition of that bow... He wished they would fall. His fingers drifted up to said bow and he felt compelled to pull it off just so his banes would hide his face once more. In the end, he refrained. Funny; for these past few moments... minutes? - he hadn't spoken a word. Hn...

Demetrius apparently didn't see much in Sebastiania's command as he continued to 'play', or rather attack, the defenseless butterfly. It would die... And it didn't take long either. The feline accidentally ripped away one of its lovely wings. A good hunter indeed. It was just too bad a lovely insect such as that had to fade away... A background feature... Sinlcair shook his head slightly before collapsing cross-legged on the ground. He would... watch right now... Perhaps he would follow through with his question later on. She seemed a bit preoccupied with the kitten right now anyhow.

Coward.

[Professor Sebastiania Bouvier]

Demetrius wasn't listening to her; of course not. Sebastiania looked away as she saw that Deme ripped the wings off the butterfly; just like in the song. She cringed and looked back at the butterfly. Demetrius was bitting the wing trying to get a taste of it. Sebby made a face as Lysander sat down.

She shook her head momentarly before sitting down herself on the ground. Sebastiania looked to Lysander. Boy did he hate that bow. Note to self; I miss you terribly Don't give Lysander a bow for Christmas. Sebastiania unclipped the bow from Lysander's hair and stuck it in her own hair. She moved his bangs a bit. "There. Happy?"

Sebastiania scooted next to Lysander and put her head on his shoulder. Why were they continuing to do this? Why? Did they like each other? Seb, of course, liked Lysander. She always had a thing for him...and Brendon. More toward Lysander since he was more reliable then Brendon-dearie. Sebastiania linked arms with Lysander and looked at Demetrius.

"Done yet with that butterfly?"

My heart's a graveyard baby. And to evil we make love on our passion's killing floor. In my arms you wont sleep safely and of lust we are re-born; on our passion's killing floor.

At the first kiss the seeds of hatred are sown. Back into darkness we flee to tear our hearts out. We are saved where all fates fail. The light inside of our tomb.

Sebastiania sighed and looked up the sky. It was actually nice out; meaning: it wasn't raining. She scratched Lysander's arm gently to give her something to do [assuming he's wearing short sleeves].

Why were they just sitting there. She tired to figure it out. Lysander probably figured out [if he had any common sense] that she liked him. She was sure he liked her in his own way since he actually gave her a long hug or what I call 'holding'. Sebastiania looked to Lysander not knowing how to start. One of them had to say something. She knew she would have to go first. Lysander wasn't one to tell anyone his feelings.

She opened her mouth to speak but for once she was speechless.[/size]

[lys]

Green orbs widened slightly when his banes felt into their rightful place. She'd actually removed it? He wasn't one to look a gift-horse in the mouth so just muttered a quick, 'Thank you', and ran his fingers through his hair once. He remained silent and still when she leaned against him. It didn't quite bother him anymore; the whole touching-thing, which he thought of as good- if not great. He still didn't do much of anything when she linked her arm with his own. At least she didn't freeze up as he did at most times...

With a sigh he patted her lightly on the head after her comment toward Demetrius. The kitten sure didn't seem 'finished' with the butterfly. Actually he seemed quite prone to rip it up even more than it already was. Poor thing... How many times have I thought that? Ahh... he supposed it didn't matter how many times he thought of it. His gaze shifted downward to Sebastiania and his brows furrowed slightly as he allowed himself to drift off to his thoughts.

So troublesome this is... Another following sigh and momentarily he allowed his eyes to slide shut. It really was too confusing to deal with. Hn. He wasn't suppose to like her. As a friend perhaps. Nothing further than that. Green slid open once again only to meet brown. He tilted his head to the side, inquisitive. His gaze slid down to catch on her lips as they opened in the slightest yet not a sound came out. It caused his brows to rise, hidden by his banes. She had something to say but she didn't speak it...

Lysander didn't push her to say what she wanted but rather looked off to Demetrius. It seemed he had become bored with the small insect. What remained of it was left to the wind and natural process of things as the feline pranced back over. Had he become bored by now? Perhaps something else would catch his interest... That didn't seem to be the case though as he hopped into the Mihael's lap. Immediately Sinclair shifted his hands down to run idly through the dark smooth dark fur. Ahh- he had made sure to keep him brushed and clean. Another bath would be in order when they returned to the dorms. Unless Sebastiania would rather take over this time around... He would have to ask. Later.

"Sebastiania, what's wrong?"

Yet he couldn't manage to keep his mouth closed until she spoke for herself. But he wanted to know; he was curious. It was human nature to be curious and he couldn't curve the desire to know what she wanted to say. Usually she spoke what she wanted... Maybe he should have just kept to his silence. It would probably be less... pressing... in most ways. And she wouldn't have to be bothered with his words. It sounds as though I'm hating on myself...

[Professor Sebastiania Bouvier]

He had noticed that she had opened her mouth to speak. Sebastiania didn't know if she should tell Lysander that she liked him. What if he didn't feel the same way? He would forever look at her as 'the girl that had a crush on him'. Sebastiania sighed and bit her bottom lip.

Her brown eyes looked toward their cat, Demetrius. He seemed to be in a good mood and not in her position. Lucky feline. Sebastiania unlinked her and Lysander's arm. She picked up Demetrius from Lysander's lap and began petting him. "How are you? Miss me any? Probably not. Go figure," she said softly to the kitten. He pawed at her hand and Sebastiania hit Deme slightly on the paw to play with him.

"Sebastiania, what's wrong?"

Pressure. Pressure pushing down on me. Pressure pushing down on you. Sebastiania continued to look at Demetrius. She scratched under his chin and kissed the top of his head. Another bath would be in order most definatly. Do I really even want to tell him? Half says yes the other half says no. I don't want him to be all 'Oh gosh she has a crush on me' then never talk to me again. He doesn't feel that way at all. Lysander isn't that type.

But she had to say something. Lysander was waiting. Sebastiania still didn't look to Lysander as she continued petting Demetrius. She couldn't look at him in the face and say what was on her mind. Sebastiania thought about how she was going to say what she was going to say. She put her bangs behind her ear and kept her eyes on Deme's fur.

"I like you Lysander." There. Short. Sweet. To the point. Sebastiania turned a shade of pink and kept her eyes on their kitten. She wasn't going to look at him. Too afraid he was going to go silent and freak out. Is this how their friendship would end? Sebastiania didn't want that to happen. He was all she had to talk to. The only reason why she stayed at this school.[/size]

[lys]

A long, uninterrupted silence. Demetrius sure was on the receiving end of her attention though. Sinclair frowned and turned his head away, partially glaring out in to the not so distant distance. But he wouldn't press her. If he was not to know - he wouldn't know. It was simple logic really. What she thought within the contours of her mind was none of his business. He should just... let it go. With a played with a random piece of grass that was at his side.

A couple more silent moments passed before green hues drifted over to Sebastiania once more. Her head was still lowered, eyes resting on the obsidian feline. Raising her head didn't seem to be on the agenda. Just as he was to turn away again, she spoke. And her words stumped him. His eyes widened beneath the dark veil of banes and his fingers curled inward, forming tight fists. It was all done on instinct. He felt uneasy... unsettled... He wasn't expecting anything like this. Why would he? No, better yet; why would she?

Was it a joke? The mere thought caused him to grit his teeth to the point of pain. He turned away from her and bowed his own head. No words were spoken as he viewed over the many possibilities in his head. Why would she lie to him? She'd never done so before. Why now? Especially about such a... tender subject...? But he knew she wasn't lying to him; he merely didn't want to admit it. His brows took up a furrowed position and he transferred from gritting his teeth to bitting his lip. Indecisive. He didn't know what he could say to her. That he liked her as well?

But what if that wasn't right. What if... it was just his feelings messing with his head? What if he didn't actually like her that way? ... Fingers curled even further, nails digging into already abused palms. He didn't know what to do... Yet he couldn't hide from it... Hn. Lysander directed his gaze back at the brunette 'specimen'. Had he been silent for too long...? She might leave... but that would be so much easier. It was like making the decision for him. That was wrong though. He shouldn't do that. It was a cowards move.

"...I..." He turned his head way once more, at a loss for words. This sort of thing didn't come easy; expressing ones feelings through words. But what did anyone know? They could be fake. Lies. Spouted for the mere amusement of another. Mentally, he shook his head furiously. Bad. Those were bad, nonsensical thoughts. She wasn't supposed to return his feelings. If she didn't, he could pawn it off. Never mention it. Over time, it would fade. Such crushes always did. That didn't seem to be the case this time around.

"I... like you too." The last three words were more forced than calm. To admit his feelings was something he took quite seriously and he didn't do it often. If ever. The closest he'd ever come before this was when speaking with his mother once. When he was very young. And even that didn't involve much 'feeling'. It was amazing he even managed to get the words out in the first place.

[Professor Sebastiania Bouvier]

Emotions are overrated. Don’t you think? We feel sadness, joy, sorrow, hope, melancholy, depressed, and happy. Yet, all we really feel is sad or depressed. Why is that? No one stays happy for very long.

We sometimes get our hopes up and only to watch them come crashing down. Why do you have to feel anything? Can’t we just be emotionless? Wouldn’t you rather be emotionless and to never have your feelings hurt than to have every emotion and feel?

Love is such a fickle thing. We say ‘I love you’ and never mean a word of it. We just say it so that we can feel happy and not sad. To not be alone and have someone that understands you. To have someone that makes you happy and loves you for you.

Sebastiania thought to herself and wondered why in the hell did she tell Lysander her feelings. Why had she opened her mouth and say, ‘I like you’? The emotions she felt were unbearable. Why had she just expressed herself in this fashion? It was like asking for a death wish.

I should have kept my feelings to myself. Now he hates me. This is all my fault. Now I have no one. Lovely. Just peachy.[/color]

He was being so quiet. Sebastiania felt like crying her brown eyes out. The worst feeling besides feeling lonely was thinking someone completely loathed you. Her nails scratched Demetrius; fur. She pressed the black and white kitten’s head against her lips and kiis the top of his head. Would they still have joint-custody of their kitten?

"I like you too.”

Lysander was just saying that so she wouldn’t cry. How could he? But she felt happy. Quite happy to be completely honest. Did he really mean what he said to her? Did he really like her?

She forced herself to look at her artistic friend. He looked just as bad as she did. Sebastiania sat Demetrius on the ground. He began to looking for something to play with.

”I…can’t find…anything to say,” she said to Lysander. Sebastiania had nothing to say. What could she say? Her attention went to the sky. It was getting dark and looked like it would rain soon.

Sebastiania got off the ground and tried to get off as much dirt as she could off her pants. She sighed an looked to Lysander Sinclair. "It’s going to rain. I’m hungry. Want to go make lunch in the kitchen?” Seb gave him a weak smile.[/font][/size]

[lys]

That's alright. Saying it out loud didn't seem to be something he was willing to do at the time. So he kept it to himself, eyes turned away. Apparently the ground was just that interesting. A thin blade of grass here. An ant hill there. Very, very interesting. The shifting of clothing attracted his attention for but a moment as he glanced over at Sebastiania. Immediately afterward his eyes were once more "analyzing" the ground. Her voice partially shocked him and he spared a glance toward the sky. The clouds were gray and clumped together, ready to let loose a downfall of rain. For a moment he toyed with the idea of doing as she said... but he didn't feel like moving just yet. No. Instead he wanted to sit in the rain. Wait for it to pour down. Yet that would be rude, would it not? All the same he didn't wish to move.

Rather he pulled his legs up to his chest and wrapped his arms around them, dark green gaze still focused on the clouded skies. The silence reined while he avoided answering her. Cooking would be just as good though. It would distract him... Besides, he enjoyed cooking. He could do that at any time though. It didn't always rain however. Really he was just waiting for the first drop to fall. One that would soon release many. It was a part of the elements...

"I... I don't believe I wish to go in... Not yet."

If he was sickened, so be it. A cold he could deal with. It wasn't as though that would kill him. Another glance was spared for his companion. Whether she went in or not was not his decision... though he'd much rather she go inside. Where it was warm. At least she wouldn't fall victim to a cold. Demetrius as well. He didn't need to stay out here... He could get sick... He took a deep breath and placed his chin on one of his arms, staring out straight ahead this time. Would she be upset with his decision? If so, he would make something for her later... Drawing something would probably be easier though. After all he didn't know what it was she liked to eat. That caused a bit of a problem.

A drawing would most likely be the safer choice. Sinclair reigned in the urge to press his fingers to his temple in order to stump the headache that was manifesting. That didn't seem to be possible though with it's continued, and growing, thrumming. Hn. He shifted his chin so as to return his stare at the darkened sky. Everyone looks beautiful when the rain comes down... For a moment he closed his eyes; imagining what it would all look like after the rain cleared. While it rained and after it rained; everything was beautiful.

"You should go inside with Demetrius... Neither of you need to get sick."

Perhaps that sounded unfair or hypocritical since he had that chance of getting sick as well. In the end, it was her decision though. No matter what he suggested. It would be nice to at least have the obsidian feline inside. If said kitten got sick, Lysander would keep him company. Sebastiania would probably keep him company as well... That reminded him; did she wish to take care of Demetrius now? Hn. He would ask her later. Through owl maybe... Than again, he could just leave the feline in her care should she go inside with him...

It would be nice if the rain came down now...

[Professor Sebastiania Bouvier]

I shouldn't have said anything. Why is he being all quiet? I'm so stupid. Sebastiania sighed trying to get out her fustration. What was wrong with her? What was wrong with him? Feelings should be kept inside because of things like this.

Her brown eyes watched Lysander pull his legs together and sit in a ball. He might as well live in a box. Oh too late he already does. Sebastiania felt so fustrated and angry at him. She was trying to be nice and all he could say was, 'You should go inside.' If he didn't want her here then she could do that.

"Fine. I'm sorry I said anything. I get it, Lysander." The fifteen year old snatched up the kitten. Demetrius meowed and Sebastiania bit her tongue from saying, 'S-T-F-U Demetrius'. All she asked was if he wanted to go make lunch. Why was he going to sit out here in the rain and get amonia?

Tears began forming again. Why was he being so...argh? She breathed through her mouth so he wouldn't hear her crying. He had made her cry twice already. Some friend he was. At least he said sorry the first time.

"You could have told me to go away. I would have understood. If I knew myself I wouldn't want to be near me either. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. If you wanted to be alone you could have just said so," she choked. If he wanted her to go away so that he could run off then that was fine. She would do that if that is what he wanted.

Sebastiania turned her heel and began walking away with their kitten in her arms. Well that relationship didn't last long now didn't it. But that's what he wanted; for me to go away. What's wrong with me? I should have kept my mouth shut and never said anything. This is all my fault.[/color]

She walked toward the oak door of the castle and it began to rain. "You should go inside with Demetrius... Neither of you need to get sick." Whatever Lysander.[/i][/font][/size]

[lys]

Dark green hues widened carefully with every word she spoke. Yet he couldn't bring himself to say anything. Couldn't bring himself to stop her words... to stop her from walking away. However as he thought about it, he found it fair to himself but unfair to Sebastiania... He hadn't meant for it to turn out that way. Just... He just wanted some space. Being crowded by emotions wasn't something he dealt well with. She didn't need to be around him when he's moping. Though... she... he... She wasn't supposed to get upset like that. She wasn't suppose to tell him those things. It wasn't her fault. He was just a coward in his own right. Hn.

That thought almost made him move from his fetal position. Almost made him go after her. But he thought better of it. Just as he had said all that time before; people were better off without him. She just didn't believe him then. Would she now? He'd proven it, hadn't he? Come to think of it- she may not even allow him to play with Demetrius again... but that was alright... He could live with that. And did the rain pour? Why yes, yes it did. In torrents it fell after at first being but a small sprinkle, quickly morphing into something more. Sinclair did not move. Instead he waited, the pounding of rain pure music to his ears.

Deceiving and mournful; what a sound it was. It calmed him to a point and the sound drowned out his thoughts, thoughts that seemed too loud for just himself to hear. Before long his thoughts had roamed away from the topic that was Sebastiania. Instead he began to think of different things he had read. Seen. Drawn. The first thing to come to mind was The Tell-Tale Heart by Edgar Allan Poe. And wonderful writer, that man. Even with all of his... problems... He was a depressant. A drug addict. Actually, he had written most of his works when high. It didn't cease to amaze Lysander the sheer craziness that were humans.

The change of pace was comforting though. "The girl" was no longer on his mind. No. That wasn't right... She was in the back of his mind... Pressed back by guilt and cowardice. Later... he may just scrounge up the courage to see her; to apologize. There was a high chance she wouldn't except said apology. Who was he to try, after he had hurt her? Hn. She probably wanted nothing to do with him and- I'm doing it again. I stayed so as not to think of her. Not ponder it.

And so, he lifted his eyes to the sky, allowing the rain to run into his eyes and pound on his face. It wasn't a comfortable feeling but he didn't attempt to change his position. However he was getting bothered with his current fetal position and before long was lain out across the wet grass. It prickled against his back, neck, arms, and legs but he didn't care. Instead the Mihael just shut his eyes and allowed himself to drifted off, the falling rain his lullaby.