Sitting Under a Tree, Not Caring [open]

[aquat1cf1sh]

Avery trudged down to the lake. He didn't care that he had accidentally walked right into a fifth year Ravenclaw boy who was walking the other way, he didn't care what they were shouting after him... All he cared about was walking. He needed to walk, it helped him think, it prevented him from curling up into a ball and becoming a basket case...

He didn't want to think about his poor cousin Landon, he didn't want to imagine how his Aunt Lucy or Uncle Bill had found his dead body, lying on the floor... Mangled from God knows what... But soon, Avery's legs began to tire, and he sat beneath a tree and stared into the lake, not noticing that the giant squid's tentacles had just flown out of the water, and not caring that two older students were kissing down by the shore about fifteen feet away...

Avery just didn't see a reason to care anymore. His best friend in the whole world had gone, he had never got a chance to properly say goodbye...

[Ashley Lovegood]

Thinking was good. It helped clear the mind of mounting troubles, and solving them. Thinking in a tree on the other hand.... not so good. For one thing you could fall, and another, people tend to sit under the tree you are perched in.

Ashley's misty blue eyes scanned the area around her. Not many people were outside today, which was a first this term. Usually it was so crowded that Ash avoided it, but not today. The fourth year had wandered out onto the grounds without really realizing it, and and found herself in a tree minutes later. Ash didn't mind though, she needed a quite place to think and this was that place.

Her best friend had abandoned her without a word. She had left Hogwarts forever and no one could get a hold of her. Worry consumed the Hufflepuff, causing her knees to pull in close to her chest. As she sat there, lingering on unhappy thoughts, some movement below caught her eye. Looking down she saw someone sitting under the shade of the trees branches. He seemed oblivious to the world at the moment but so was Ash a few moments ago.

Ashley let her legs fall over the branch she was sitting upon and swung them back and forth. She wasn't really sure if she should call out or not, but decided to anyway. "Hey, What's your name?" She asked, cocking her head to the side.

[aquat1cf1sh]

Avery was focusing on the two younger people sitting by the shoreline of the lake, as they held hands and kissed. He wasn't taking in anything that they were doing though, he was much too disturbed by his own thoughts to really notice or care that he was staring at them. He didn't care if they caught him staring at them, why should it matter to them? Why should it matter to him? Nothing mattered to Avery right now, and he groaned, wishing this feeling of emptiness and carelessness would go away.

Instead he looked out at the lake, at its dark blue water that almost looked black. He wondered how many dead sea creatures were in the lake; he imagined their bodies rotting in the water, and wondered if anything else in the lake would miss them. Or if they had ever had a chance to say goodbye...

Avery held back tears. The death of his cousin was by far the most traumatizing thing that had ever happened to him, especially because he couldn't be there for him. 'Even if I was there,' he thought in his head. 'What would I have done? No one knows what killed him, it may have been something that as a Muggle I couldn't have handled. I could have died. But at least I would have died doing something to protect him. I would have fought with all my might...' He sniffed and a tear leaked down his cheek. 'Oh, don't you start crying again,' his conscious seemed to scold him. 'You can't turn into a basket case, he wouldn't have wanted you to.'

He took a deep breath and sighed, and wiped the one lone tear that he had shed from his eyes. He swore that he was going to be stronger, he had to be, he couldn't live the rest of his life like this. Sure, it was okay to grieve when he first read the letter that informed him of Landon's death, but he simply couldn't allow himself to turn into a human hosepipe.

Somewhere, suddenly, a voice called out to him. It asked him what his name was. Avery blinked and stared out at the lake. "...Huh?" he muttered out loud, but then his brain put two and two together, and Avery looked up and saw a girl who looked a few years older than him sitting in the tree branches above. "I'm... I'm Avery," he said bluntly. But he didn't care, and oddly enough, he cared that he didn't care. He wanted to care so hard, so badly, but his emotions were dead. "What's your name?" he tried to ask curiously. Normally he would have stumbled over his words, maybe he would have snuck an "err" or an "erm" in there somewhere, and he would have actually felt curious about the girl's name, but not today; not now, at least.

[Ow, that ended up a lot longer than I intended it to be. <_>]

[Ashley Lovegood]

Sympathy filled her heart as she watched him from above. He seemed really upset about something, and this something made her curious. She knew better than to randomly start asking him question when she didn't even know him. Still, it took all the effort she could muster to bite her tongue. She hated to see people sad or upset over anything, but it was just in her nature to try and make people happy.

"I'm... I'm Avery,"

The Hufflepuff smiled at his reply as he looked up into the tree where she was sitting. It was probably kind of odd for him to look up into the tree he was sitting under to find a girl there. It would also be easier to chat with him if she was on the ground. Her blue eyes searched for a sturdy branch above her head to take hold of. She smiled as she found what she had been searching for and took a firm hold. She lifted herself off the branch she was sitting in, and swung down to land on the balls of her feet, a short ways from him.

"What's your name?"

Ashley turned back around with a polite smile on her face. "Sorry bout that. I'm Ashley." She replied to his question, the smile still on her face. "Um..." Her smiled wavered slightly as she spoke her next question. "Mind if I join you?" She was unsure if he would like the company at the moment, but she figured it would not hurt to ask. She was glad to be talking to him however. It kept her mind busy on the conversation, rather than the unpleasant thoughts that seemed to pop into her head every time she took a break or sat down without another’s company.

"Hey, if you don't mind me asking..... Are you alright. You seem a little down...." She couldn't hold the question back any longer. She really needed to learn to control her curiosity a bit more than she had at the current time. She bit her bottom lip, hopping that she had not upset him. That would have defeated the purpose of asking him the question. She knew when she was upset, she usually liked to talk to someone about her troubles, but she could never go and tell them to her friends. They didn't need to worry about her too.

Ash glanced around for something else to say that would bring about a probably happier topic. "I'm a fourth year. What year are you in?" She asked hastily, turning back from casting her mind about for a topic. It was a boring question, but her mind could not conjure up better at that time. The break seemed to have affected her brain a bit.

[aquat1cf1sh]

Avery sighed and stared down at his shoes, realizing just how dirty they were. The girl above him hopped down onto the ground, but he didn't watch as she leaped. He didn't really care about much at the moment. His facial expression was glum, and his mind's brain seemed to melt into soup. "It's okay," he muttered, now staring out into the lake. He didn't care if she heard him or not; it wouldn't bring Landon back.

The girl introduced herself as Ashley, and Avery waited a moment before responding. "I'm Avery," he said glumly. Normally he would be shy and quiet, passive yet anxious; but he didn't care. For some reason his social phobia had gone away completely and he was left with an empty heart. He didn't care though. He didn't care about anything at the moment, and he didn't even care that the girl had asked if he was alright.

"I'm fine," Avery muttered, looking up at the curious girl who was now biting her lip. He could tell that she looked concerned, and it was this look of concern that made Avery admit that he had a problem. "I... Actually, I'm horrible." He stared out at the lake, and then back at the girl again when she had asked him another question. "I'm a first year," he said, thinking about how 4th years were in their mid-way through Hogwarts. "And..." his eyes burned up with tears; he couldn't cry, he shouldn't. But Avery couldn't hold back. He sobbed a little, then wiped tears from his eyes. It took all his strength to make himself not cry. But he did it. He coughed lightly, hoping that would make Ashley think that he had coughed instead of cried the first time. "My cousin just died." That, though, was a little white lie; he didn't just die, he had died over the weekend. But Avery had just found out about it that day. He groaned and sighed, misery and despair drowning his emotions.

[Ashley Lovegood]

Ashley stood looking at him for a few moments. He seemed out of out, no more than out of it. He didn't seem to care about anything right then. She wondered what had happened to him to place him in this state. She placed a smile back upon her face, however as he told her his name, in a sad tone, but he had spoken. "It's nice to meet you Avery." She hopped her light mood would not bother him, just the opposite in fact. She wished that her better mood would pull him out of his glum one.

"I... Actually, I'm horrible."

Ashley watched, helplessly as tears filled his eye but amazingly did not spill over. Sympathy gripped her but she was unsure of what she could do. She felt horrible that all she could do was listen for the moment. Ashley crouched down and extended her hand so it touched his shoulder lightly, giving him a small, but warm smile. She waited to see if he would be willing to share with the Hufflepuff what was really bothering him.

"My cousin just died."

"Oh," She knew to an extent, what he was feeling right now. People Ash had lost over the years flashed through her mind before she shook her head, as if to clear it of the painful memories. "I'm sorry. I know how your feeling.... a bit anyway," She said, a hint of a smile tugging at the corners of her lips. "I lost my parents when I was young and I just lost my best friend." she hopped that being able to relate to someone would bring him out of the misery that he had seemed to have plunged into.

[aquat1cf1sh]

Avery shut his eyes tight so that the tears wouldn't fall and seep down onto his face. When he opened them again he was surprised to see that his eyes could see more clearly; his tears had cleaned his contacts out. They had been dirty, for Avery had been rubbing his eyes constantly since he had heard about the death of his cousin, but again, he was in too much of an apathetic mood to care.

He looked up at the girl, who seemed both curious and concerned. She was smiling at him, and normally he would have been happy to see someone doing that to him. He tried to feel happy; he wanted to dig his nails into skin and keep digging until he found happiness, because he knew for sure that happiness wasn't going to find him. "It... It's nice to meet you too... Ashley."

Avery swore he felt a touch of happiness when Ashley lightly tapped his shoulder. "I... I'm sorry to hear about your parents," he said; he truly did feel sorry. Avery couldn't imagine losing his parents of all people, especially at such a young age. "...And your friend."

He wanted to ask more about her friend, but he wasn't sure whether she would turn into an emotionless vegetable like he did or whether she was even comfortable in talking about her friend. 'Well,' he thought, looking out at the lake. 'She wouldn't have mentioned her friend if she didn't feel comfortable talking them. It's worth a shot.' "Who was your friend?"

[Ashley Lovegood]

((No problem, I took a while too. Sorry))

"I... I'm sorry to hear about your parents, and your friend."

Ashley shrugged before speaking. He didn't tell him that she did not like her parents company.... she actually had not liked them at all. It was like they had died when she was born in a sense, she had never really had parents in the first place. Littrell on the other hand... "Thanks," She said sincerely. She missed Ashley dearly, that was something that she was not over.

"Who was your friend?"

Ashley thought that steering the conversation away from his cousin would be good for him, but she never thought it would do her good as well. She smiled and with a laugh replied, "The loudest, troublemaker on the planet." Her response was unexpected, but true. Ashley had been a big trouble maker, and had a bit of a loud mouth.

Ashley was relieved that she could talk about the Griffindor without letting a few tears fall down her face. She had seemed so strong when Bryce had told her that Ashley had left Hogwarts for good; it had been a mask. She could not cry in front of her brother like that. He was busy enough with worrying about his twin, and he didn't need to worry about her as well. "Her name was Ashley Littrell," She stated, turning to look at the lake with a smile. "She... she had to go back home from Hogwarts. She was expelled and there was some trouble at home and... and...." Her smile vanished. No one had heard from the girl since she had disappeared and worry had been threatening to consume the fourth year.

She took in a few lung-fulls of air before continuing, "She disappeared without word a while ago. No one can contact her or even find her. I sent an owl but...." She trailed off, indicating that she had failed in finding her friend. She had been so sure that she could, out of everyone else, find her. She had been mistaken.

[aquat1cf1sh]

Avery sighed. Sighing usually helped him sort of let go of being sad through his breath, but the great lump of despair growing like a fungus on his heart was too great to let go of that easily. He listened intently to Ashley, watching geese fly from the lake and into the sky, free of all emotion, they seemed. He wished he could be like them, and maybe Ashley would want to be like them too. Maybe everybody would be happier if they didn't have any emotions to sink into. 'No, no, stop thinking like that, what would Landon say?' he thought to himself.

When he heard that Ashley's friend was a trouble maker, he almost wanted to smile. He always found troublemakers to be so amusing, and yet so kind as well, even if they did like to, well, cause trouble. As long as Avery wasn't at the center of that trouble, he was fine with being acquainted with them. He made his eyes sink into the sky as Ashley told him about her friend, but as she continued, Avery's emotions of amusement at troublemakers took a turn. As Ashley started tripping over her words, and repeating them, he felt like he was in an airplane that was going to crash into the ocean. Any second now, they would make contact with the water and it would not be pleasent. He braced himself to hear about how Ashley Littrell had died in some horribly unpleasent way.

But instead, an odd feeling of emptiness overtook him. He did not expect to hear that Ashley's friend Ashley had been expelled from Hogwarts and had not been heard from since. He didn't know how much worse having his cousin mysteriously disappear would have been, but he was sure that it was worse. At least Avery knew that Landon was dead, that he wasn't out there somewhere. He had accepted it, although not really gotten over it. He didn't know what he would do if he had to worry about his cousin, mysteriously vanishing.

He looked up at Ashley, who looked quite sad. He didn't know what to say except "I'm so sorry." And for the first time in days, weeks, he felt something other than remorse; he truly did feel sorry for Ashley (for both of them). "I..." he gulped. "How were... how were her parents?" he asked. He didn't know if this was the right thing to ask. Or if, perhaps, he should even ask anymore. But he did, as one more question slipped from his tongue. "What did she, er... get expelled for? It- It's okay if you don't want to tell me."

[Ashley Lovegood]

"I'm so sorry."

She shook her head back in forth with a small smile. "Don't be. It was her decision...." Ashley was slightly confused at his next question. "Um.. what do you mean exactly?" she asked him with a questioning look. Ash had very little details about Littrell's parents beside that her and her mother had some differences, but when Bryce had returned to the castle he had good news. The family had gotten along well. This bit of news had calmed Ashley for a bit. At least she knew that her family was alright.

"What did she, er... get expelled for? It- It's okay if you don't want to tell me."

Ashley almost laughed at his question. He seemed a bit nervous to ask questions which he should not have been. "She got into a fight or something along those lines.... I never did get the whole story. She had a bad tempter," She explained, the wave of sadness that had just washed over her seemed to have pulled back with the receding water. She smiled before continuing. "Some girl made her really angry and she lost it." She smiled at the thought of Littrell getting mad at a fourth year for being rude to her. She was a second year then and they had been friends since Ashley;s first year.

What was Ashley doing?!? She was supposed to be cheering Avery up and here she was rambling about her own problems. Problems that would pass if Ash would just let them. She shook her head and looked out at the lake. She was going to cheer this first year up. No one should be upset upon arriving at hogwarts. With her new determination, she turned back to him with a smile. A true smile this time. "You know what you need?" She asked her eyes glittering. She needed to turn the topic from these saddened thoughts. "You need some fun! Have you been around the grounds yet?" She asked interested if he had done so or not. She was unsure if he was even willing to talk to her after her pushy words, but she hoped that her attempt to cheer him up would succeed.

[aquat1cf1sh]

"I mean, er-" Avery began, but he didn't know where to go from there. What did he mean? "I meant, er, were her... did she get along with her parents?" There, that was what he meant. Avery figured that if that Ashley didn't get along with her parents that it would be the reason why this Ashley couldn't get ahold of her. He shuddered slightly, thinking about how annoying parents could be sometimes.

"Bad temper," Avery repeated under his breath. It reminded him of himself, sort of. As shy and reserved as he was on the outside, Avery could be a hotheaded, stubborn goat on the inside and it was moments when that side of him came out that he wondered why he didn't get sorted into Gryffindor. Avery remembered sitting under the Sorting Hat and having it look inside his head. He wasn't shocked that he got sorted into Hufflepuff; in fact, it was the House he was expecting most. But sometimes after that he questioned whether the Sorting Hat was right or not. He didn't feel loyal, or hard working, or particularly accepting of people. He felt angry, selfish and lazy. But he shrugged these thoughts off of his mind for now; he figured it was only normal that students questioned their House placement after they had been sorted. But was it?

Avery's heart jumped a little as Ashley said the word "fun"; it was something he hadn't experienced in quite some time. It was as if his heart had forgotten that the word even existed. "I..." Avery began, trying to think about when he had explored the grounds last. "I came here for a Care of Magical Creatures lesson once..." But that wasn't it, there had to be another time when he had explored the grounds. "And I went into the Enchanted Garden one time during the night..." His voice trailed away, remembering how mischievous he had been that night. And then the question popped into his head once more and he looked up at Ashley.

"Have you ever felt, er... uncertain about where the Sorting Hat placed you?"