The Pink Ladies (Invite only)

[amandalarsen]

Yeah we walk through the doors, so accusing their eyes
Like they have any right at all to criticize,
Hypocrites. You're all here for the very same reason

The day didn't seem to go too well as Amanda sat in the Hufflepuff common room, thinking over the gossip column, and wondering if things that Nathaniel had written were real. He was no liar, she knew that, but it urked her to know that Dezi had kissed another girl. This Aaryn girl. And what hurt the most is that her best friend, Alessa, would soon find out. Unless she already has.

Amanda hated this feeling in her gut. Just this sour monster wanting to unleash and pin the boy down for his actions. But she couldn't, she wasn't like that, and she knew that Nathaniel couldn't do anything either. They were too wise for their own age, older than most in their own year. It was no wonder they sought solitude more than others.

We're against them all. Those who are petty little teenagers. Pre-adults with dramatic lives. And we're stuck together, older than most, wiser than the smart arses.

Sapphire orbs glanced away from the fireplace to the portraits that adorned the walls of historical figures. She licked her pale pink lips, moistening them from their chapped state. Still in her Hufflepuff robes, she stood up from the couch, walking away from her Hufflepuff crowd to go elsewhere. A note she had written earlier was still tucked in her robes.

'Cause you can't jump the track, we're like cars on a cable
And life's like an hour-glass, glued to the table
No one can find the rewind button, girl.
So cradle your head in your hands

Leaving the Hufflepuff common room, Amanda sought for a place of a quiet atmosphere. She left for one of the towers, the Owlery, to summon her own bird to send a letter to Alessa. She felt that she should personally talk with the Slytherin, see how she was doing, and know at first hand what she was planning to do. She was only going to be the ears that Alessa needed to talk to. That is if Nathaniel hadn't gotten to her first.

And breathe... just breathe,
Oh breathe, just breathe

And there in the owlery, Amanda waited. She sat in a little area where there were no owl feces. Mainly at the entrance, but atleast Alessa would spot her out once she arrives. If she arrives. Though Amanda had high hopes that Alessa would respond to her as soon as possible. If not, at least she'd send a letter back to inform Amanda of her absence.

[Alessa Gillespie]

Tear stained eyes gazed blankly out the window of her dorm. Her arms wrapped around herself. Hugging her legs to her chest. Her face shown no light of happiness. All of the light killed out of her. Dezi smothered it all. In one move, one simple move. He could of turned away. He could of turned the girl away that kissed him. And a great way to find about it. Reading it in the gossip. She closed her eyes and more tears fell. Alessa was falling apart. She felt alone, like she had no meaning. She was falling in love with Dezi. Why? With some boy that didn't deserve her heart? Yet she loved him. Yes she did..

Her first true love turned into pure heart ache. This is what she let become of herself. She let herself fall. I'm so stupid.. Alessa thought to herself. Lifting her head, tears sliding from her beautiful blue orbs. As she gazed upon the owl of her best friend Amanda. She petted the owl and tried to smile. But she had nothing really to smile about.

Opening the letter, she read it quickly, brushing herself off. She decided to go meet her like she wished. Walking over to the mirror. Her black hair with pink streaks down the front was a mess. Quickly brushing her brush threw her hair, she went to grab her hoodie. Yet it wasn't hers, it was Dezi's. She threw it against the wall in disgust. Sighing she just left her black teeshirt on with her faded jeans and her pair of converse shoes

Making her way to the owlery seemed to be a long one. Many times where Alessa felt like she could break down in tears.Yet she wouldn't, she wouldn't show her emotions yet. Not until it was safe, for she didn't want to take the chance of Dezi seeing her cry.

Making threw the door way of the owlery, she sighed a bit as her eyes found Amanda. "Hey..." Alessa said, her hands deep within her pockets. She bit her bottom lip as she tried to stop from crying. She tried so hard to keep it back. But she found it harder and harder to hold it back anymore.

[amandalarsen]

She wasn't very sure of what was going to happen since the article. Amanda felt partly at fault here, nagging Nathaniel about some of the happenings around the school, and actually writing a follow-up for the gossip column. But Amanda retired. She retired from writing for the gossip column. Amanda couldn't keep up with it like she used to. Though she still had the urge to write.

And that is how I got Nathaniel into this mess. It's because of me. I got everyone in this mess.

Amanda felt horrible for being such an influential person. Every article she published, she knew that Nathaniel and Alessa read them. But what was the difference with this one? She knew she made it personal through Nathaniel, making him flame about his own housemates, and it wasn't like him. She enraged the Slytherin boy and now things have come to this.

Often her mind wondered, could I have kept this a secret? Should I have not told Nathaniel about what had happened? He was paying for it all when it should have been her. Amanda should have taken the blame because she knew that Nathaniel wasn't a perfect writer in this school. Her words, they were her words, but given to a different author.

I can't take it anymore. I mean, Nathaniel knows as well as I do, but Alessa doesn't. She doesn't!

What hurt the most is that the girl finally entered the owlery. She looked so timid and Amanda felt that she had crushed her best friend's world. She knew of Dezi beforehand. Never spoke to him or met him, but heard great stories about him from Alessa. Alessa was a bright ball of sunshine when he came into her life. Better than Tristam Lane, which Amanda was still confused about him.

Strike up the courage. Go to her. Hug her. Anything Amanda... just comfort her.

"Hi Alessa." Her voice cracked as she stepped away from the window. She tip-toed every place so that she didn't get owl feces on her shoes. And as she approached Alessa, she embraced her in her arms. "I-I'm so sorry Alessa. We... we were looking out for you. Nathaniel and I. I'm just so sorry, and you know how I overexaggerate the column. It-it was just a terrible thing to do."

All her words blurted out as her sapphire eyes glazed over with tears. She felt awful, terrible, horrible. All those words combined. "I helped wrote that article. And I understand if you hate me for it. Nathaniel couldn't do it all himself. You know he's a terrible writer. He only added very few parts. But we were looking out for you... in the worse possible way. I'd take it back if I could, but the dam...damage has been done already." She gulped.

((OOC: Nathaniel will join us eventually. ))

[Alessa Gillespie]

Alessa could see why Nathaniel and Amanda wrote that gossip column. She knew that they was only protecting her. She just wished she could of seen Dezi's true self. She wished that she would of seen that he was a liar and a cheater before she let herself fall in love with him. And that what hurt most of all. Falling in love with someone who would just rip out your heart the next moment and crush it to pieces. Without a warning, without any sign. Alesa felt like she would never love again. Dezi crushed those hopes and dreams she had. Maybe she was a fool to have rushed it. Or maybe she didn't rush it. She couldn't help how she felt though. How she felt for him.The way that Dezi was with her. The way he kissed her....

He put her underneath his spell. Making her fall head over heals in love with him. Damn him.. Alessa knew she had her best friends to catch her.

Standing in the doorway, She sighed softly as she looked at her best friend Amanda. Wondering where Nathaniel was right now. She wished he was here too. She closed her eyes and inhaled deeply. "Hi Alessa." Alessa cracked a fake smile as she heard Amanda speak her name with her voice cracking. She could tell that she was upset too.

The next moment, Alessa found herself in Amanda's arms. She wrapped her arms back around her and rested her head on her friend's shoulder. "I-I'm so sorry Alessa. We... we were looking out for you. Nathaniel and I. I'm just so sorry, and you know how I overexaggerate the column. It-it was just a terrible thing to do." Alessa closed her eyes and breathed in deeply. "I'm not mad.." Alessa found the words to say. Her voice breaking. Alessa blinked a couple of times and couldn't hold back anymore. She cried.

"I just don't understand..." Alessa cried out to her. "Why did he haft to do this..?" She asked. "Why didn't he just push her away. Why did I let myself fall head over heals in love with him. Why..." Alessa found herself pouring her heart out to Amanda. The only one besides Nathaniel that she felt like she could trust. She felt like she only had them. Like everyone else has turned there back on her.

"I'm such a fool.." Alessa said as she broke herself off. Pulling herself away a bit from Amanda's embrace. She looked up at her best friend, tears pouring down her beautiful crystal blue orbs. She didn't know what else to say or to do at this moment. She was lost, and feeling dead inside. The feeling of a broken heart, hurts most of all. And thats what Dezi had done, he broke her.

[nathanielhaake]

So maybe things didn't turn out so good after the revealing in the article that Nathaniel had sent in. Should he have kept in anonymous? That way he wouldn't feel so bad for what he has done. But Alessa had the right to know either way. If Amanda and him hadn't written that article, then would she ever find out that Dezi had kissed another girl? And why couldn't others see that that was cheating?

Because the world is not black and white, there are shades of gray, and people are too lenient these days.

Did these kids have any respect? Any values? Morals? No, suddenly the world has changed and it was okay to cheat on your girlfriend a little it. It was okay to defend the ones you love, even if they have done wrong. But Nathaniel defended Alessa rightfully because he was old fashion like that. Society today has changed and teenagers were becoming more pathetic by the generation.

Who gives a damn anyway. I hope things come to worse and they break up. He was never good enough for Alessa. Nor was Tristam. She should be put up on a pedal-stool. Praised and loved and cherished. Why can't anyone see that. Why can't guys treat a girl like a princess. Their hearts are the most fragile things in this world. He sighed and looked to the tower that he knew Amanda and Alessa would be at.

Nathaniel headed toward that direction from the lake he had been strolling around. His steps heavier than the one before. He dreaded to meet with Alessa, feeling that nagging twinge that he could either be thanked or slapped for revealing something so important as Dezi and Aaryn. He gulped as he stood several feet away from the tower, debating whether to enter or not. It's important. You have to go in. Just give it a couple minutes.

[amandalarsen]

And what if you could turn back time? Find a way to rearrange the events in life to make it perfect. Amanda wished she had that power. A way to overcome obstacles more easily if she could. Or she would do it for her friends. She'd sacrifice anything for their happiness. That was what friends were for. Alessa's embrace around her was comforting, more to her nerves because she felt guilty.

Guilty. Never. They are always forgiving.

She'd forgive Alessa or Nathaniel over anything. No matter how much it caused her pain and sorrow. But this was Alessa. And she cared for her like her own sister. She loved her like she was a part of her family, the same with Nathaniel. What comforted her more was that Alessa was okay with the article. Okay with her and Nathaniel's way of showing Alessa some justice in this school.

Justice. Rightly. Served. She deserved to be exposed to the truth.

The truth would always set you free. That is what Amanda believed in. Even if her and Nathaniel didn't choose the right way to expose Alessa to the truth about Dezi and Aaryn's act in the Quality Quarters. Biting her lower lip, she listened to each question that poured out of Alessa's mouth. A lot of 'whys', but she didn't know the right answers to reply with.

We never meant to do the things we've done. It happens and we can never turn back time.

Time was brutal in life. Aayrn chose the wrong time to make a move on Dezi. And Dezi chose the wrong time to continue that sinful kiss. Her sapphire orbs looked to the Slytherin as she pushed away from Amanda's embrace. Love, it was more brutal than time, it was a killer. And to crush a girl's heart, the most fragile thing in the world, can make a girl suffer for years.

"You're not a fool Alessa. Dezi is the fool. You were the victim in all of this m'dear. He was tempted and temptation is hard to resist. It is like a sin. Men are drawn to temptation that is given to them upfront, like Aaryn had done with Dezi. But the thing is... from what Nathaniel and I had found out, he did push her away. He did realize what happened. And that part we left out."

The truth hurts like hell.

Amanda swallowed thickly as she looked at her best friend, hurting, breaking, internally suffering from heart-ache. "We.. we never know what love really means Alessa, unless one sacrifices himself for you. It just seems like Dezi.. wasn't the one. If he were, he would have resisted her, no matter how guilty he feels now and regretful. It happens to the best of us... sadly."

[Alessa Gillespie]

Alessa had no idea that her best friend was right outside the door. Yet if she knew that he was there. She would wish that he would come inside. For she really needed him. She needed him to catch her as she fell. Even if she didn't really want to admit of needing anyone. She needed him the most. Of course she needed Amanda too. But he was the first real friend that she had. He was the one that took her under his wing, when Tristam hurt her.

The question that still kept spinning around and around in her head. Is why did Dezi do this to her? She thought she was a good girlfriend to him. Wasn't her fault that they kept missing each other. But then again, what gave him the right to cheat on her? Alessa didn't deserve this pain that he was putting her threw. She was lucky though, Alessa had very good friends to stick by her side threw this. Protecting her.

The column that her friends wrote. She wouldn't and couldn't be mad at them for writing it. She knew that they was only looking after her. For it would of been way worse if she had found out by someone else. Yet still reading it in the paper, still any way finding out that someone that you thought you loved. Cheat on you, hurts like a knife. And Alessa was falling apart....

Alessa looked at Amanda as she spoke, she bit her lower lip fighting more tears as they couldn't help but to fall down her pale cheeks. "You're not a fool Alessa. Dezi is the fool. You were the victim in all of this m'dear. He was tempted and temptation is hard to resist. It is like a sin. Men are drawn to temptation that is given to them upfront, like Aaryn had done with Dezi. But the thing is... from what Nathaniel and I had found out, he did push her away. He did realize what happened. And that part we left out." Nodding her head, she closed her eyes and lowered her head. "oh he did..." She closed her eyes. "Yet he still kissed her.."

"We.. we never know what love really means Alessa, unless one sacrifices himself for you. It just seems like Dezi.. wasn't the one. If he were, he would have resisted her, no matter how guilty he feels now and regretful. It happens to the best of us... sadly." Alessa knew that she was right. Dezi wasn't the one. He wasn't, but who was? Alessa sat down against the stone wall, and floor. She closed her eyes and breathed in deeply. Who would be 'the one'? Who, who could ever love her?

Breathing in deep. She whispered. "I wish Nathaniel was here.." Alessa said in a sigh. She needed him here too. She had Amanda, but she didn't have her 3rd goonie by her side. Where was he? She still didn't know that he was outside that door..

[ooc: sorry for the long dely, didnt know what to write and been busy with work]

[nathanielhaake]

Amanda's voice echoed from within those walls. He could hear every word blurting out in confession. She was a savior, better than he could ever be. Nathaniel didn't know much about love. He didn't know what it was like to be in a relationship. His life had been on the run continuously until Herpo was rid from it. So how could he ever give as great advice as Amanda?

She was better with words then he was. The only thing he could do was be there for Alessa or Amanda. Just him being there meant enough, right? Nathaniel was about to go in, but paused when Alessa began to speak. His heart sinking further in his chest, beating harder, and straining over pressure. Alessa needed him. She wished he was there.

It was his cue to take, to come in, and to make things better. His tongue ran over his lips, wetting them, feeling the cracked crevices from them being too chapped. Over his lip ring, he bit down gingerly, navy blue eyes looking at the doorway. She was calling to him. Alessa needed him and he could no further attempt to avoid her. Not after all that has happened.

Slowly his steps ascended the stairwell to the owlery, one after the other, until he finally came into full view of both girls. His navy blue eyes looked to Alessa as her back faced toward him. No one else deserved Alessa. She was like a high trophy, a love that will last forever, tarnished by disloyalty and deception. No one else deserved her but him.

Upon entering, he slowly moved toward Alessa, his eyes catching that of Amanda's. He winked with a small smile and proceeded toward Alessa. His long muscular arms wrapped around her from behind, embracing her lovingly like the best friend that he was, and burying his face within the locks of her lovely midnight hair. "I'm so sorry." He whispered quietly into her ear. "But I'm here now.

[Alessa Gillespie]

Alessa paused as she spoke his name. Wondering where he could be right about now. She really did need him. More then anything in the world. Maybe there was more going on for him then she actually admitted. But she didn't know, right now she was torn and very fragile. A broken heart, she told herself she wouldn't ever let this happen again. She will not let someone steal her heart away just to get it broken in half.

Alessa's eyes went toward the sky, the starts glittering in her eyes. Not knowing that the guy walking threw the door at this very moment was Nathaniel. His foot steps echoed as he walked into the room. Yet she did not turn around. She did not, her thoughts was too lost at this moment. She knew that Amanda was there for her. But she still felt utterly alone.

The next moment she felt the recognized smell of Nathaniel, his touch. The warmth of his arms wrapping around her. She closed her eyes and relaxed into him. She needed him so. She closed her eyes and rested her hands onto his arms. As she felt more tears begin to fall as she stood there in his arms.

She felt his face burring his face of her soft midnight hair. She could feel his breath upon her skin. She closed her opened her eyes as she heard him speak to her. "I'm so sorry." she let out a sigh, as she trailed her hand down to his, she gave his hand a slight squeeze as she in her own way reassured that it was okay. Yet in a way it wasn't okay. Nothing was ok, and it felt like it wouldn't ever be okay for her.

"But I'm here now." she heard him whisper into her ear softly next. She closed her eyes and whispered. "Yes you are..Nathaniel..." she paused and breathed in heavily. "Please don't let me go..." she asked him. She needed this, she needed for this one moment to feel like everything would be okay. She just wanted to feel special. To feel okay again. Then out of no where Alessa spoke again. "Do i deserve to be alone...am I not worth loving..?" she asked him.

[nathanielhaake]

She accepted his silent presence by running her hands down his arm. His fingers interlaced with hers as his face rested on her shoulder. This was the closeness she needed, Nathaniel's comforting arms that have always been around her when something bad happened. First with Tristam and now with Dezi. He was here to save her from harm. He was her rock and no other's.

"I don't plan on it..." He whispered softly into her ear, keeping his firm embrace around her still. Nathaniel had no intentions on leaving Alessa anymore. She needed him more than anyone. Looking to Amanda, a small smile appeared and winked at her. It was time that she had left anyway. Nathaniel was here for Alessa and he needed some alone time with her.

It pained him to hear those words uttered from Alessa's mouth. He closed his eyes tightly shut, wishing she didn't have to suffer this way. Opening his eyes and lifting his head from her shoulder, he let his arms slide around her waist so that he could stand infront of her. Still, Nathaniel held on to Alessa, snaking his arms around her again, hugging her like she deserved to be hugged.

"You don't deserve to be alone Alessa. Don't think that way." He whispered again, still crouched down a little since she was shorter than him. "You worth more than the world. Is it enough that I love you. And Amanda?" Royal blue eyes look into her crystal blue ones, searching for an answer, and for the girl he once knew before she became tarnished by reckless lovers.

[Alessa Gillespie]

Nathaniel was defiantly Alessa's rock. He was there for her no matter what. The only guy that was defiantly 100% faithful and loyal. He would never abandon her. She felt it as his arms was tightly wrapped around her lovingly. She closed her eyes tightly as she rested against him. Everything else seeming to disappear. Yet there was also that feeling inside of her chest. Something that was there a while ago. And it was coming back.

Something that she hid from everyone even from herself. And it was coming back, but stronger then before. She didn't know how to handle it. Yet she kept it to herself. She would not tell Nathaniel. No..she couldn't or could she?

After she asked him not to let her go, she heard him whisper back. "I don't plan on it..." She felt her lips curl up in a small smile of happiness. Something that Nathaniel could always bring out of her. No matter what it situation was. He always made her smile.

After she whispered to him, asking him if she was meant to be alone. She could sense that those words that she muttered was killing him inside. To hear her say those things. Feeling his head lift from her shoulder. She lifted her head upward, watching him go in front of her. Feeling his arms slide around her small fragile waist. So he didn't haft to let go of her, so that the could also keep eye contact.

His arms around her waist once more. She felt her arms wrap around his in return. Her eyes looking up into his own. Sadness was still behind those amazing blue orbs of hers. Something that she knew had an affect upon him. She knew that he was always enchanted by her eyes. "You don't deserve to be alone Alessa. Don't think that way." she heard him whisper. He crouched down a bit. . "You worth more than the world. Is it enough that I love you. And Amanda?" Hearing those words. That he loved her,but she knew it was just friendship. Nothing more, yet deep inside. She felt like she was longing for something more. Something more then friendship. A deeper love.

Alessa said nothing at first cept nodded her head. Her and Amanda's love was enough for her. Yet she still wanted more. "yea it is enough.." Alessa whispered softly, her eyes never leaving his own. Her crystal blue orbs looking deeper into his eyes. A secret desire for him that she only knew about. She wished that Nathaniel knew how much that she wanted so much more from him. Yet she wouldn't tell him. She didn't want to chase him away.

She found her small pale hand trailing up to the side of his face. She touched him slightly on his left cheek. She felt like telling him everything. How she all this time, felt something for him more then this. The one that was always there for her. Catching her when she fell, drying her tears, chasing away all of her fears. He was always there, like she was just for him. She was the first one to even befriend him. She was the one who first got to know the real Nathaniel. And she loved him for everything that he was. Everything that he is. He was the perfect one for her. Yet only if he knew. What would change? Change for the good or the bad? "I am so glad that your here though Nathaniel..." She whispered softly again, her eyes never leaving his.

[nathanielhaake]

Over the terms, Nathaniel was torn over Alessa. It was because of how she let herself go with each passing guy. And when she was happy, he was happy. He remembered seeing her glow with Tristam and Dezi. Each guy giving her the time of her life. But her life was in shambles now. That love that once wrapped around her with each guy like a safety net, only then to be unraveled as lies and deception resurface.

Couldn't she see? One mistake after the next, they weren't meant for her. There was no other person meant for Alessa. No one could love her any more than Nathaniel did. And it pained him, it literally tore his heart apart seeing her crumble underneath all these disappointments. What hurt him the most is that he wasn't sure how he could bring her back. All he did was be there for her, be that crying shoulder, and that listening ear.

Nathaniel was confused out of his wits! Because even though through the terms he developed feelings for Amanda and Xiomara, he was always unsure. And with Xiomara, he loved her, but the constant pushing and pulling away, it was just undetermined when he would ever take the next step with her. Amanda was something wonderful. Something he could never forget sharing with her.

But Alessa meant more to him. Alessa was that type of girl who could never let you down. She was practically amazing and perfect in his eyes. Sometimes he wondered if she knew that about her. Did anyone tell her everyday that she was the most amazing person in the world? No, but Nathaniel could. And he could stay by her side for hours, with or without a response, and still enjoy her company.

His love should be enough for Alessa. As much as he didn't realize it before, his mind constantly clouded by school and quidditch, he loved Alessa more than she knew. A deeper feeling that hid underneath layers of doubt in his mind. Why couldn't he see this though? Why didn't he take matters into his hands any sooner? He loves her and that's all that matters.

"I am too..." He whispered back to her, still looking into those amazing blue eyes that caught him off guard the first day they met in the tower. They still sparkled like shimmering stars against the velvety sky. Embracing her closer to his body, he lowered his head close enough to hers, and softly kissed her forehead. "Everything will be alright Alessa. I promise."

[Alessa Gillespie]

The night between Alessa and Nathaniel, seemed to only grow them closer and closer together. Magic between them. A secret love that they had for each other. Alessa's love for Nathaniel growing stronger and stronger by the moment passed with his arms tightly around her waist. His arms protecting her by his love. Yet if she only knew how he truly felt. Everything would change, and it would change for the good. She would be truly happy. For she would have the love of her life by her side. The one she needed most.

Alessa needed Nathaniel like this, she always had. Even if she didn't know it. Yet she did know she did need him. She needed him like no other. Like she never felt in her life. For every time she was around him. She was as happy as she could be. Feeling loved and protected.

Every single guy that she was with, torn her to pieces. And Nathaniel was always there to pick up the pieces. Making her whole again. Making her feel like nothing could ever harm her.

And nothing ever did, Alessa couldn't fight this any longer. He had to know. He just had to know everything that was inside of her heart. She had to tell him... She loves him so much. More then anything in the world. Alessa's love for him was pure and true. Something that would always be there. Destined to love him, she felt like.

Yes...it was love..

She never felt love this strong before. And it started to scare her. She started deep into his eyes. Her heart pounding fast for him. "I am too..." she smiled a bit, her lips trembling. Aching for him, to tell him everything. She felt his arms bring her closer to him. Her chest pressing against his. She wondered if he could feel her heart beating fast inside of her chest as she laid in his arms. His lips was next to be felt against her skin, she closed her eyes. Her heart not able to take any more. "Everything will be alright Alessa. I promise."

She opened her eyes and looked deep into Nathaniel's eyes once more. She couldn't keep any of this from him any longer. He deserved to know, everything. "Nathaniel.." Alessa began, being more brave then ever. "Something you need to know.." She said, closing her eyes for a moment. She breathed in. Her heart pounding even faster then before.She looked back up into Nathaniel's eyes. "About how I feel about you...Ive been hiding so much from you.."

She felt her hands tremble as she looked down upon them shaking and trembling. She was scared. "I never knew how to tell you until now. That I love you so much...More then friendship. I have fallen head over heals in love with you.. You mean so much to me. Id do anything for you Nathaniel. I can't hide this from you anymore. If you take my love or not, or if we just stay friends. But i can't ..I can't.." She felt herself crying again. She didn't know what else to do.

"I love you Nathaniel.."

[nathanielhaake]

It wasn't the response he was waiting for. He wasn't sure if he wanted to hear what she had to say after what had happened. Assuming she was vulnerable and he was there, Nathaniel couldn't tell if what she had to say was because she had gone through this traumatic experience with Dezi. But he braced himself for whatever she needed to tell him, how she felt about him, what she had been hiding.

He looked into her crystal blue eyes, searching for some truth before she had blurted out what all she had to say. It registered to him very slowly. He knew he felt something for her back then, but his mind was so clouded with Herpo and someone else. How could she love him more? How could anyone? She had been hiding this feeling toward him for terms and now she landed this on him.

Nathaniel was feeling sick to his stomach. Not because of Alessa, but because of the thought that he'd be hurting someone he loved. This meant he'd have to make a sacrifice. But what if she only said this because of how much he has helped her since they had become friends? A broken heart can do many wonders, but she was weak at this point.

"Alessa..." He began, unsure of how to tell this to her. Nathaniel couldn't say much because he wanted her to think things through. "I... I can't be sure of how I feel right now because I do love you, but you just broke up with Dezi. And I'm not saying that what you said is untrue, but you need time. I need time. But I don't want to disappoint you. You understand, right?"

[Alessa Gillespie]

The more that she was with him, the more she realized that she did. Everything that she was feeling was true. She wish she knew of a way to show him that everything was true. That he could have everything that he needed was right in front of him. She also was feeling sick to her stomach. She felt like the world was spinning around. That she couldn't breathe.

Taking in a deep breath she closed her eyes, more tears began to fall. She was lost and feeling alone. "I... I can't be sure of how I feel right now because I do love you, but you just broke up with Dezi. And I'm not saying that what you said is untrue, but you need time. I need time. But I don't want to disappoint you. You understand, right?" She breathed in, and pulled herself away from his embrace for a moment.

Her hands resting on his side. She looked up at him. "You won't disappoint me Nathaniel. Ive been forcing my feelings deep inside for you for the longest time. The more I spent with you, the more I felt like I was in fact in love with you. And it scared me, even when I was with Dezi. My heart belonged to you. I am not saying this because I am fragile. I am telling you the truth Nathaniel. My heart belongs to you, and no one else...."

She looked up at him, deep into his eyes. "You say that you love me, I feel like its true. But If you need time, to sort everything out that your feeling toward me, I understand. But.." She paused and she leaned up and trailed her lips upon his jawline. Softly and tenderly. Showing him affection the best way she could. She longed for his lips pressed against hers. Cept she wouldn't take that leap. That would be for him to choose.

She stopped kissing his jawline for a moment. And looked up into his eyes once more, her heart pounding inside of her chest.She was scared, scared that she would end not being with him. The one that she longed for, the one she had always loved. She reached up and ruffled his hair, and gave him a brave face. "I will not lie to myself any longer. I can not push my feelings aside...."

[nathanielhaake]

It was all coming down on him. The truth that flowed out of her and wrapped around Nathaniel. He couldn't see clearly. What was this all coming down to? Did he want to be with Alessa now? Could he take that place beside her after all that has happened? Nathaniel didn't want to disappoint Alessa, not after he told her he loved her and would always be there for her.

Way to put his foot in his mouth. But he couldn't have her heart broken again. And he doesn't want to be that person to hurt her ever. After all Alessa had been through, he just couldn't see the next strike practically shatter her to pieces. He just needed time to think things through. Nathaniel had feelings, but they were buried beneath layers. And to make matters worse, he had loved another.

Nathaniel looked into her eyes, hearing every word she said, and he just wanted to run. It's true that he loves her and that he needs time. But what about this pause of hers? Eyes widen as she leaned closer to him and soon her lips touched his skin so softly that it sent chills down his spine. Goosebumps appeared on his arms and a feeling that he never felt before.

He wanted to kiss her back after that. You could just see it in his eyes and the way his lips moved. But was he going to put himself out there for her? Could he kiss her and make things better for the both of them? Nathaniel swallowed thickly as he faintly smiled while she messed with his hair. "I wouldn't want you to lie to me anymore. I'm just going to need some time to think about this."

[Alessa Gillespie]

As Alessa looked up at Nathaniel pouring her heart out to him. Putting her very heart on the line. She put herself on the line for him, for he was worth everything to her. She felt deep within her heart. That him and she was meant to be together. Like they was made for each other. No one else could fill that spot in her heart that she had given him. No one, not a single soul. Even if she wouldn't ever be with him. He still would hold that spot in her heart forever.

After she had kissed his jawline very lovingly, she could tell that it had made an impact upon him. she smiled for a moment, as she looked deep into his eyes. She breathed in and out. And forced herself to be strong for him. For she would do whatever it took to be his and his alone.

"I wouldn't want you to lie to me anymore. I'm just going to need some time to think about this." Alessa nodded her head slightly and then just rested her head on his chest. Knowing that he would wrap his arms around her in return. She closed her eyes, as she snaked his arms around his waist. Holding onto him. "I understand..." she whispered to him. "I'll wait for your choice, and whatever you decide to do. I'll always be in your life. For theres nothing in the world that I would do for you.." she whispered to him, sighing to herself. Relived that he finally knew how she felt about him.

[ooc: sorry so short and the delay]