Take This to Heart, Lysander. [Open]

[Professor Sebastiania Bouvier]

Reserved for thy dear Lysander Demois Sinclair

You know I would have died for you.
Now I'm forced to choose between a life of revenge or regret
as I thirst for vengeance, my heart struggles to come to grips.
Why would you leave me to die, turn, and walk away?

Today was the beginning of the new term and Sebastiania was quite happy. Even though she hadn't gone to any of her classes last term she had been moved up to fourth year! Hopefully the same had happened to Lysander. After pulling yet another great disappearing act she didn't know if he was still a third year or now a fourth year. Sebastiania hoped that he had been moved up a year along with her. Who else could she talk to in her classes? She also hoped that this term would be better than last.

Over the term break her emotions had went head over heals. Lysander had finally returned back to Hogwarts. Seb was still made at him and would forever be mad at him. He had never explained why he couldn't keep his promises. She felt like she shouldn't burden him with it so she had dropped the subject all together and tried to move on. But she still wanted to know why.

Sebastiania had wrote to Lysander last night asking him to meet her in the Quality Quarters and to bring dear Demetrius with him. It was her turn to watch the kitten and to see how big he had gotten since she last seen him. She sat on a big couch in the quarters waiting for her friend to arrive. Seb knew it was a little early in the morning but classes wouldn't start until next week; or at least she assumed that they did. Now all she had to do was wait for Lysander and little Demetrius to show up.

Her thoughts drifted back to a couple days ago when Lysander had finally returned from his [disappearing] act. She was really quite shocked to find him in the Corn Maze but that wasn't what her thoughts were on exactly. They were more on the thoughts that Lysander wouldn't keep her promises. At least she had gotten a hug out of the ordeal, by which she started. Sebastiania was quite happy to be held once in a while by someone she actually liked.

She was also so confused. Why was Lysander hiding his feelings? He would admit that he liked her in the same way but he was so afraid to admit it. Seb would say, 'Yes, I do like Lysander. Got a problem with it?' but Lysander was on a more of a, 'Who is Sebastiania? I have no clue who or what you are talking about. Sorry.' Then scurry off to draw. Was he afraid someone wouldn't agree with him and think of him different. Well to be honest, Lysander was weird in her oppinion.

Lysander Sinclair was "weird" on the account he would never really admit anything. He could draw like Picasso and tell the complete story in a picture that he would draw but could never tell you the full story by mouth. It made her real tempermental at him yet sorry for him. Sander would have to stop that and get over it. Was it really so hard to tell your feelings? It was just Sebastiania, not like she would go out on you in French. >=]

Deep down she was actually quite hurting. Sebastiania really thought that Lysander was just saying that he liked her after she said she had liked him. It made her feel really bad inside and actually quite insecure to be around him sometimes. She really didn't know if she even should like the boy at all. He was utterly confusing and she was hurting deep down.

Sebastiania moved her brown hair out of her face and behind her ear. Her brown eyes looked to the fireplace and watched the fire's flames. A sigh came from her lips as she put her arms around her legs and brought her knees close to her. Hopefully her only friend would arrive with their kitten. Maybe they would have a conversation that had meaning in it.

Alone, you stood so still as you watched me break.
Did it now kill you too? What has led you to the dagger my friend?[/size]

[lys]

I'm not the one you want,
I'm not the one who'll say I love you,
I'm not the one who'll say I'll stay.

Just a small letter. One that involved himself and a small kitten though he wasn't oh-so small any longer. Lysander glanced to the side, eyes falling upon the young cat playing with a ball of yarn. He grip on his pencil tightened slightly and he re-directed his gaze at the paper. A sketch, nearly finished, was scratched onto the page. A young elven male curled in the fetal position with tall wilting trees rose up all around him. At the corner of the page sat a small kitten with his signature scribbled beneath it. It was, of course, uncolored. Perhaps one day he would get around to coloring it...

With a sigh he shut the sketch pad, gently placing it in his bag along with his many other things. The mechanical pencil made itself home in his pocket and he stood, stretching with a slight yawn. Demetrius was quite preoccupied with the "magical" ball of yarn, completely focused on catching and tearing a part the rolling victim. Sinclair allowed a small smile to drift over his lips before leaning down and snatching of the cat. He made a noise of unhappiness but the Mihael just shook his head.

"We're off to see Sebastiania. So behave Demetrius." It was her turn to watch the feline now after all. He shook his head slightly, displacing a few pieces of hair, hefting up his tan-beige bag to place over his shoulder. A quick glance around the room satisfied him that nothing was missing and he left the Mihael dorms. It didn't take him very long to reach the Quality Quarters, or QQ, and he found himself hesitant to step inside. He hoped they resolved everything while in the Corn Maze though he was sure that wasn't nearly as true as he hoped. He never had finished answering that question on his promises. But she was right. Why couldn't he promise something as simple as that?

It wouldn't hurt to warn her before-hand. Even after he was gone would be better than never, than leaving her in the dark. I've gone over this before. Oh, he knew that but that didn't mean he could help thinking it. It was... inevitable. Demetrius's impatient bite on his arm only attracted his attention for a moment. So impatient... At least that's better than being a coward. A stinging remark at himself to top it all off. Why did she put up with him? He had the feeling he would never know. But... what if she just stopped? What if she just gave up on this... this... whatever it was.

That would hurt. Another sigh to accompany his thoughts. Gradually he remembered he was still standing in the way of the Quality Quarters entrance but of course he still didn't move. Not until the feline aimed another bite at his arm. He hurriedly muttered, "Alright, alright," and continued on into the room. The fire place was lit and gave off an eerie glow in the room. Sinclair found himself thinking of Halloween and its nearness. It was his favorite holiday... filled with horrors and frights. It was like a game to see if he or someone else could frighten him. Many had tried and failed. The only time it had really worked was when he was little... At one point, his father had jumped from behind the shower curtain...

It was late - dark. No one was supposed to be up at that time but Lysander was looking for his father. He wasn't in his room, his study - nothing. So of course the little seven-year-old would go looking. The bathrooms were one of the last places he checked and his father had apparently been in waiting for he jumped out just as his son stepped into the room. Apologies had been in order and mother had become... upset with father's antics. She suspected Lysander gained his liking of Halloween through his father for she preferred Christmas. He never did understand why Christmas was number one, even with the presents.

A sting in his arm brought him back to the present, pulled from his memories. Demetrius had decided he needed a wake-up call apparently. Sinclair snorted and placed said feline on the ground. He scampered off toward Sebastiania, ears twitching with what Lysander could only describe as excitement. And he said that first thing that came to mind.

"Yo." How quaint.

[Professor Sebastiania Bouvier]

So f-ckin' blow those words out the back of your head.
I've heard it all and I'm done with that sh-t,
You tell me lies,
and you get what you get.
So blow those f-ckin' words out the back of your head.

"Resolute a stance of defiance. Always teetering on the brink. Nothing can hold you back when, when you're not holding back a thing. Open arms we embrace tomorrow. Closed fists, tarnishing today. We're not afraid to open our mouths and scream: 'We believe in what we say.'"

Her brown hair was tied back in a pony tail that left her bangs off to the side. All her ear rings were ing since she didn't want them healing up. Sebastiania's shirt was a new gray Atreyu shirt. Her eye shadow matched the gray on the shirt. A studded belt held up her tight jeans. Vans on her feet to protect her from the cold weather.

Sebastiania's brown eyes continued to stare at the fire as Demetrius climbed upon the couch she was sitting on and attacked Seb's head. He clawed her head and began licking her hair and switching his tail. The Gryffindor jumped up in suprise and turned around. Her hands went on her hips and she gave Demetrius a look. "Demetrius," she said smiling.

She pranced over to the growing up kitten and picking him up. Deme moewed letting her know he wanted to explore. He didn't want to be held! Lysander had carried him and wouldn't let him explore as they were walking toward her. Seb kissed Demetrius' head and petted him. "You're getting so big. You're almost big as a cat now." She giggled and let the black and white cat jump from her arms.

A "Yo" distracted her from looking at the joint-custody animal and she looked to her friend. Who said "Yo" anymore? Sebastiania always thought the word was what you would call "ghey". She nodded at Lysander and held up two fingers in a peace sign. "Hello. What have you been up to?," she asked him.

Maybe I should just stop. It will never work out. He wouldn't put the effort.

[/color]

Oh my God, did you just hear?
Lies are coming back in style.
[/font][/size][/blockquote]

[lys]

I can be as humble as the next guy,
Or I can blink and make you crumble from the inside.
I could be every nasty thing you ever dreamt a man could be.

Lysander remained in his silence as he watched her interact with Demetrius. It was her time to have custody over the kitten... Ah, there went his companion for a while. He would miss the obsidian-white feline at his side. Even if it was only for a while. His fingers curled inward slightly and he tilted his head to the side. At least she was pleased to see said kitten, almost cat. With his mind drifting, he almost missed her greeting toward him. She didn't seem... hostile. That was comforting, to a point. It wouldn't do for her to be mad with him once again. And he knew there would be plenty of more moments where she would blow up on him just because he was such a "natural" at pulling disappearing acts.

He knew that just as well as he knew he couldn't keep his promises, just as he had told her. She didn't understand why. He knew she didn't. It was a... simple promise. It shouldn't be as hard as it was to decide if he could keep it... at the very most he could try but promises could not be made. No. Those were things he could not keep as he should. Am I really this much of a coward? This pathetic? The mere thought caused him to scowl though it was partially hidden by his slightly longer banes. His hair had grown in length though he didn't intend to cut it. By now the ends just brushed his shoulders.

"I have been doing nothing really..." A pause. "What about you?"

His vocals seemed to be on auto, saying whatever would satisfy her questions and questioning her in return. He wasn't really thinking about what he was saying. It was... second nature... Just as he had done all those times before when it was just himself, his mother, his father, and whomever worked in the house at the time. Automatic responses. They never suspected a thing. It was the same as his usual responses with no real alterations. He just wasn't entirely... there. No. He was somewhere else entirely. A place where it didn't involve his voice so that part of him remained a part of reality; like a broken toy thrown aside for others to play with. A selfish, cowardly deed.

Sebastiania... She would not be pleased with him if she were to know, would she? He believed not. And she probably still wanted him to do something about his hair... but it was his protection. He doubted that he would ever get to the point where he would truly rid himself of it, even if he was no longer such a coward. He was rather fond of it... He shook his head slightly, mentally, attempting to rid himself of random wayward thoughts. Yet he still did not fully drift back into reality. He didn't see a point in doing so. Not yet. For now reality would take a back seat and play the last role. For now it wasn't truly there to torment and suffocate him. No. A back seat...

[Professor Sebastiania Bouvier]

I feel eyelashes on my cheek
They lacerate my flesh,
A pain so good.
So put your hand in mine, never let go.

"I'm doing fine. Bored mostly," she said as she picked up Demetrius. Sebastiania petted him and scratched under his chin and on his neck. She gave him a lot of compliments as well. Most of containing what a big boy he was. Hopefully he wouldn't get all worked up about it and bring her a dead rat. Seb knew if a cat brought you a dead animal and laid it near your door or on your lawn or at your feet it meant they love and apprechiate you.

Sebastiania had noticed Lysander's hair. It didn't bother her anymore. She knew there was nothing she could do about it and didn't want to do anything about it. Seb was getting quite used to his hair. As long as it didn't get longer than hers she'd be fine. Just to get to the point she thought his hair was getting kind of cute in a way. Of course she'd never admit it. If she did Lysander would probably cut it or something.

Maybe I shouldn't have asked Lysander to hang out today. He seems completely out of it. Eh.

[/color] She bit her lip in responce to her thoughts and didn't look at Lysander but kept her eyes on Demetrius. A sigh came from her lips as she didn't know what to do. Seb kissed Demetrius' hair and let him out of her arms. He began to explore around the room.

"Is there anywhere you want to go?," she asked. Sebastiania almost felt scared to ask him. I don't think he wants to be around me anymore. He's always never really here.[/color] Seb often wondered if she had made the right choice to keep talking to Lysander and to claim him as a friend. Now she had a crush on him that he knew about. If he liked her the same way then why did he act so far away? It wasn't like she was going to tell the whole world that Lysander liked her. Actually, she wouldn't tell anyone.


And I’ll never need to see the sun again,
There’s enough light in your eyes to light up our little world.
So take me, take me away.
Kill me slowly, I’ll never be the same.[/font][/size][/blockquote]

[lys]

I just can't seem to concentrate today.
It seems my mind is wandering away.
And all the things swimming through my head,
Fade away as I go back to bed.

Dark green hues focused slightly as he fell back into his "routine" of watching Sebastiania play and talk with the obsidian-white feline. She seemed to have drifted a bit into her own thoughts as well, he decided when she bit her lip. He wanted to know what it was she was thinking... but he wouldn't ask. It was only his business if she made it his business. Otherwise he held no right to it. A small smile lifted his lips though as he watched her play with the near-cat before placing him on the ground in order to explore. He wouldn't have to worry about Demetrius' well-being...

Thought had only drifted slightly when the Gryffindor spoke up again. He blinked in surprise, startled a bit by her question but that was quickly subdued. He shuffled forward only slightly and shook his head negative. He was quite at ease in the Quality Quarters so he didn't see the point in leaving just yet. It wasn't as if there was much to do in the first place. His eyes drifted from her to their kitten-cat and followed his movements around the room. Demetrius seemed to be looking for something to actually do in the room, besides run in circles anyhow.

Lysander crossed his arms over his chest and leaned back slightly on his heels, observing the room in silence. Before long his eyes fell upon the fireplace and he thought of drawing it, a homey little sketch... Perhaps I should return later and do so... He figured it would be rude to do so at the current time. He wasn't the only one here after all. With a sigh he turned back to Sebastiania, studying her for a moment, brows furrowed. He was... uncertain as to what else they could do... Unless she felt so inclined as to play tic-tac-toe with him. Or 'I Spy' or one of the many other childish games he could think of. Perhaps she would pose for him again...? Only with Demetrius this time.

He pursed his lips together for a moment, directing his gaze back over at the playful kitten. Somehow he doubted said feline would sit still long enough for him to get every detail right. No. That was definitely out of the question. At the most he could have an image in his mind and go from there. He felt the need to continue drawing after taking such long breaks. I could even continue that elven one from earlier. True as that may be, he didn't know if he should. Nor did he know if he should ask the Gryffindor is she would mind. Another light sigh and he turned back to her.

"Would you mind posing for me again?"

[Professor Sebastiania Bouvier]

Everybody’s hurt somebody before.
Everybody’s been hurt by somebody before.
You can change, but you’ll always come back for more.
It’s a game and we're all just victims of love.

Sebastiania looked to Lysander as he began talking again. There he goes again with one sentence.

[/color] She thought they had gotten past this. Was it hard to talk to her or something? Seb thought about bringing it up but she didn't. She didn't want to ruin the whole day by starting up the conversation again.

Before she knew it she had said yes to Lysander's modeling drawing stuff. Last time she had been a model he had told her to stop moving in the Enchanted Garden. It had taken her ages to figure out why she had to be sitting still. To her it was a very very hard thing to do. Sebastiania had to be in constant motion.

She rubbed her arms and looked to Demetrius. Seb picked him up once again and began petting him. The Gryffindor was cold and she didn't think to bring her hoodie. A thought of hope passed that maybe Deme could keep her warm a bit with his fur. The chances of that was nearly impossible.

The Bouvier looked back to her friend, or was he not? She could never tell with Lysander. He seemed like he had double meanings to his words. A sigh came from her lips. "Where do I need to sit still at?" Hopefully she wouldn't spend and hour standing or sitting still. It didn't take him that long to draw, or at least; she hoped so.

"What are you going to do for Christmas?," she asked.

Now you’re back .
Track you're running away.
Cause it just happened again.[/font][/size][/blockquote]

[lys]

I'm waiting for blood to flow to my fingers,
I'll be all right when my hands get warm.
Ignoring the phone, I'd rather say nothing.
I'd rather you'd never heard my voice.

For a silent moment, he pursed his lips, judging just where she should sit for him. He glanced over at the fireplace and paused, eyes lightening in the slightest. For now he didn't bother with answering her for something else had to be done at the time beforehand. Without necessarily thinking about it, he grasped her arm lightly and gently pulled her over to the couch. It only took a moment and when that was finished he released her and coughed lightly, motioning toward the couch.

"Just take a seat there..."

That said, he knelt on the floor and opened his beige-tan bag pulling out his drawing pad. The gray mechanical pencil followed from the safety of his pants pocket. Only then did he think of the question she had taken the time to ask. Lightly, he frowned. He hadn't thought anything of Christmas. Hn. He hadn't even thought of his own up-coming birthday as sad as that is. At the time, he still wasn't even sure if his mother would be out of the Hospital by that time and father would probably still be away 'on business'. As spiteful as he didn't want to be, he simply believed his father was cheating on her merely because she was no longer around him. And that... didn't sit well with the Sinclair.

Lysander snorted slightly and bowed his head, dark green hues dulled slightly. No. He wasn't doing anything for Christmas. Not unless his mother got better and was freed from the Hospital, then he would most likely head home for the holiday... though not for too long. However for now his answer was, "I'm doing nothing for Christmas." Perhaps at a later time it would change. It was up to his mother and those doctors that were in charge of her well-being, as much as he didn't want to rest his 'beliefs' in them. And, in his gut, there was the feeling that everything would go irrevocably wrong.