The Way I Am (Open)

[amandalarsen]

((OOC: You must be a Med-Adv. Rper to reply here.))

If you were falling, then I would catch you.
You need a light, I'd find a match.

The dorms were empty and silent for the remainder of the day. Amanda sat by her window, overlooking the distant mountains as the sun set this evening. Her homework laid still on her made bed, few wrinkles in the sheets from where she sat and shifted while finishing up her essays for classes. Dreading all the work that needed to be done, Amanda just couldn't concentrate. She couldn't.

Shades of red, orange, and yellow distantly mesh in the sky as the sun slowly sunk behind the mountains. The landscape beginning to turn black; silhouette shadows as the sun leaves this side of the world. Shades of blue and purple descended on these bright colors, soon blanketing the whole sky as far as her sapphire eyes could see.

And still her homework laid cold on her bed, untouched for several minutes.

Amanda finally tore her eyes away from the window she looked through. Nothing else to watch, nothing else to distract her. But she didn't feel the urge to finish up her last essay for the night. Instead, as she stood up from the window sill she sat by, she slipped on a pair of slippers and left her dorm. The stairwell to the main common room creaked, indicating another restless Hufflepuff to join the others.

And she still felt unsatisfied. Undecided. Blank.

She didn't stay long in the common room, leaving the others to their work and games. Whereas she, well, she had to find something to do or go somewhere to fulfill her mood tonight. Amanda had too much in her mind that she wasn't sure what she'd do as she roamed these empty halls. Dark, shadowy, and yet comforting. With each window she passed, she could see the moon begin to rise over the sky.

Pale moonlight. It was these nights she missed being with him. Just the comfort of another soul who cared for her. But memories of the past faded, as well as their relationship, and it was just friends. They were just friends.

Her steps grew hollow, and her feelings turned bitter. Whereas her heart, her heart remained colder.

Cause I love the way you say good morning.
And you take me the way I am.

Lips pursed to thin white slits, refusing to say a word, refusing to reply to a student who passed her by. She didn't have the voice to speak right now. Also, she didn't have the heart. Or did she?

If you are chilly, here take my sweater.
Your head is aching, I'll make it better.

Obviously life was no cabaret. And she could not escape reality. Evidently, Amanda was going through a phase. It had to be a phase of selfishness. But what if she wasn't selfish? What if she was just feeling alone? No, you can't be. Your friends have not left you. And your newer ones are beginning to realize the real you. The fun you. The friendly, awesome part of you.

And she still felt unsatisifed. Undecided. Alone.

Shivers ran down her spine and her body ached for some unknown reason. Amanda finally left the hallways, entering somewhere she hadn't expected. The nil light played tricks to her eyes, without even thinking about using her wand, but she was outside. Yet she was still within the castle walls.

I'd buy you Rogaine if you start losing all your hair.
Sew on patches to all you tear.

A soft sigh escaped her lips as her sapphire eyes glanced around. The scent of flowers filled her lungs. Sweet and intoxicating, yet stale. Her hand finally gripped her wand, and she murmured 'Lumos' to finally get a better look of her surroundings. A burst of bright light extruded from the end of her wand, and then dimmed.

The Enchanted Gardens. Few memories filled her mind here. She shared only a couple with Nathaniel and Shayne. They were pleasant.

She stepped forth on a cold path, walking around, and figuring where she might go from here. Amande felt different, maybe it was the lack of warrmth, but for once her mind cleared of all the rough patches that prevented her from having a untroubled evening.

Calm and finally at rest, she finds a soft patch of grass beneath a small tree to sit on. At least she was safe here and unnoticed. Her wand rested on her stomach as she laid back, her arms cushioning her head, while she gazed up at the stars that began to sparkle across the dark sky.

Cuz I love you more than I could ever promise.
And you take me the way I am.
You take me the way I am.

You take me the way I am.