the gift of paralysis[Mr. Gerard Turner. DUH!]

[Kelly Locend]

[I'm sorry if this is short. bleck]

Blonde hair could be seen flying in the wind. Okay. More like platinum blonde. Kelly Locend was back to Hogwarts for good. It had been so long. She missed the whole feeling of this place. Once again she had disappeared, for quite some time. It was the worst few months of her life. It had been because she hadn't been able to find Ger for quite some time. It was probably really terrifying if you were in her shoes. She was changed, a little bit more crazy. Staying in an apartment all by yourself in London was kind of scary. No one was there with her, and she didn't make any new friends. No one knew where she had been either. Kells had just disappeared completely and that was no good. So now she was back. Missing everything she once had. Quickly before coming to the lake, she had sent an owl to Gerard, sure she had seen his black hair wandering around in the hallways. Her own platinum blonde hair was hard to miss, that was quite true.

A small smile flitted across her face at the thought of seeing him again. She was still so much in love with him. And it seemed she wasn't going to find anyone else but him to hang out with. Except Jackson Hurley. She plopped down in the grass beside the lake, unable to keep away from it. It was the one place she was always calm, serene. Well, until Gerard got here. In her hand was Survivor by Chuck Palahniuk. Opening it to the page she was on, she began to read happily, humming softly to herself. It was just so peaceful here. You know, what with all the student walking around, sometimes randomly jumping into the water just out of spontaneousness. She was a seventh year here. Her last year. And then she would become a TA or something. Try to get the position for Herbology. Kells had quite a nack for that. Since her cousin Jared had been the old TA way long ago.

She wore a pair of yellow skinny jeans, black mid-calf Nike's, and a black Nightmare before Christmas shirt with Jack and Sally holding hands in the middle. Her bright hair was pulled into a side ponytail, and her green eyes were outlined in a black, but it was minimal. She really had just woken up, remembering she had no classes today for some odd reason. Probably because she was a lazy bum. Nah. It was actually because she hadn't felt like going at all. Not after seeing Gee. It was just her own thoughts to invite him. And he better come. Cause if he didn't, well, she would be heartbroken. But yet, there was always the chance he was somewhere other than here and she had seen that head and imagined it was him. Maybe she was hallucinating after being alone for so long. Who knew?

[gerardturner]

whatever happened to us
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<sup>Why? Why was this to happen?

His thoughts went at the speed of light. So many at one time. So unbearable at this certain moment. He didn't know what to do. It seemed so hard. Hard to take all of it in. But why? Why did she return and want tos see him? His heart was so broken. Broken because they had had to end it. Gerard couldn't bare it anymore. Seeing her again. It could open old wounds. Bring back memories. For for gawd sake - he loved her. He loved her so much. That it even hurt. And Gerard seemed like he couldn't take it. They couldn't be together. Not now. Things had happened now. Perhaps feelings were starting to take place for another. He didn't know what he felt. For anyone - but her. Gerard knew how much he cared. Loved. And cherished her ♥ He wanted her. But he couldn't. That would break him too much if she was too leave again. Or him. If he left again - it would hurt her. Gerard couldn't take hurting her again. Breaking her heart.

And so he had to leave the warmth of the Common Room - to see her. To walk to the Lake - to see her. But they needed too. Just needed for things to be okay again. They couldn't be together (because of pain). He needed to see her again. And be happy. Both of them happy - without having the relationship. The whole girlfriend/boyfriend thing. Ger needed time. If she wanted too. He needed time. Time to think. All he knew was - he couldn't hurt her.

So alone. His body so cold. So frightened of what he was to expect. Gerard had see her Blonde Hair a mile away. He would've normally shouted her name. Or sung. But now wasn't the time. Gerard needed to remain quiet. He didn't want her to notice him quite yet. And so he sighed. So softly. His eyes fixed on her. Even though he wanted to stare somewhere else. The ground. Just anywhere. Not Kelly. He couldn't. He already felt his heart breaking slightly. He placed his hand over it. Why did it have to be like this? Why?

But staring at her now. He was so close. A tear rolled across his cheek. Splashing his hand. She was still so beautiful. Still Kelly. But she wasn't his. Not anymore. That couldn't change. That wasn't aloud. But he could watch her. Gaze. Feel the love he always shared with her. Things had to change. Otherwise they would both be broken hearted again. And again. Gerard couldn't let that happen. Gerard needed to speak. But say what? Say what? He opened his mouth. Words didn't want to escape. No. This wasn't to happen. He needed to speak to her. Tell her he was here now. He tried again. This time however - it was succesful.

"I'm here."</sup>

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[Kelly Locend]

Footsteps reached her ears, and she felt her heart begin to pound. They stopped though, and she didn't dare look up in case it wasn't him. She could feel it though. It had to be him. Kells could fell his eyes on her, and yet, she didn't look up from her book. Her mind was spinning, her heart racing. She would give anything to be with him again. Anything in this entire world. Her life. No, maybe not that drastic. Because if she gave her life, then she wouldn't be with him. Duh. Her green eyes couldn't be drawn from the book, she was so scared. And yet, she wanted to. Wanted to see him fully again. His face. Just something to quell her. It was just too much for her right now. It was her first day back and she was scared of him. Not him, just the thought of not having him with her. Her feelings had never changed, nor would they ever. It was just so much of a pain having to worry about what he would think of her now.

That voice. Her green eyes lifted to see him, and she almost started to cry. It was him. In person. Tangible. He had to be a mirage. Kelly had to be dreaming. But then, she knew she wasn't, and she actually did begin to cry. Oh, how it hurt so much to see him without being able to leap up and kiss him. Well, she could, it would just be so...well, weird. She stood up, her own height not even comparing halfway to his. And then, she wrapped her tiny arms around his, resting her head on his chest, unable to help herself. She had to know he was real and that he was there for her. To see her. Not just wandering by to meet some other person.

"Gerbear." She managed to choke out, so unstable now that he was here. The peacefulness of the air was gone, now filled with missing and everything else imaginable. There was no way she would ever let him go. It was too hard to think of a life without him anymore. He had gone missing, making her leave the school without thinking about if he came back. Kelly Locend could be such a selfish one if you gave her the chance to be. Her eyes closed tightly, taking in the scent of him, everything about him. His black hair. His perfect face. It was all just too much. And yet, not enough for her to live with. And now hugging him so tightly, like he would just disappear, she knew why she had left. Because she had to find a way to get out of a place that reminded her so much of him when he was gone. And yet, in the process, she hurt him and her so much more. "Gerard. I missed you. God. I missed you so much. I love you so much, and I don't know what to do anymore." Man, just blurt it out.

[gerardturner]

you're killing me
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<sup>She needn't have hugged him. Rested her head upon his chest. Gerard didn't want that. It made it so much harder. Harder to tell her they couldn't be together. That it really was over. Because he couldn't hurt her. He cared more about her - than he cared about himself. She couldn't be hurt. But Gerard allowed her to keep hugging him. To keep the both of them standing here. His arms controlled themselves. As they wrapped themselves around her. Holding her close to him. No. This couldn't happen. It just couldn't. But it felt so right. So normal.

Gerard heard his name. Her soft voice filling his ears. "Kelly," he said. Almost instantly. Was he selfish? Letting her go. Perhaps he was. Perhaps he was thinking of this wrongly. What was stopping them from being together again? Other feelings. Feelings for someone else. Another whom he had met. Recently. But he loved Kelly more. But he liked someone else. It was so hard. Yet really - he should know what to do. Who to choose.

"I'm sorry. So sorry for hurting you." And the tears soon came. Trickling down his pale cheeks. Rolling onto her clothes. But he couldn't help it. He felt so weird. Being here with her again. It felt too right. The memories came back. All of them. Just the two of them. Meeting her. Their dates. His birthday. He loved each of them so much. Gerard loved her so much. It was unbelievable. Of how much he could even care for her ♥ He had to give up. Didn't he? To stop hurting her.

Her words spilt out. Gerard crying more. And more. He shivered against her. Still hugging tightly. He wanted to repeat each thing. Wanted to do so - so badly. But he just couldn't? Gerard clung to her. Afriad she might let go for a moment. He wanted to speak. Speak. Speak. But the words were so muddled. Ger couldn't think straight. Never. But one thing did release from his mouth. One sentence that mattered.

"I never stoped loving you."</sup>

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[Kelly Locend]

No. Don't do this to her. Don't tell her they can't be together. That would just not be right. She loved him oh so much. And if you hurt her anymore, who knows what she will do with herself. It was all just a matter of time before she was not anything anymore. Her eyes looked up at him, green staring into blue. And then it made it all the more hard to ever let go. She was never letting him go. It would be just too hard. She wanted to smile when he wrapped his own arms around her. But it was too hard when she felt nothing but sadness from being away for so long. It was right. That was why it felt so right. Because it was. And she was completely happy. Right now, in this moment.

His own voice was just the cherry to put on top of this screwed up ice cream. And she was so unknowing of this other person whom he had feelings for. That was not good. It was obvious who he should choose, of course, but it was hard as well. But if he thought about it, he knew the one person who would always love him. And that was Kelly. She had been accepted into his family in Scotland, and they all liked her. So really. But she was being selfish as well. Her own feelings were making him sad. And she was being selfish by hogging him all to herself. But of course, that was what she was like. You really couldn't blame her.

"No. It's all my fault. I'm so, so sorry. God, I don't know." She blurted out, unable to keep anything to herself. She felt wet drops on her clothes, and she knew they weren't hers. They were Ger's. Kells wanted to stop them, to make them all go away. Have those happy days back. Like his birthday. Where she gave him the book of all the pictures of them. It was just too much to keep going on without him. And she knew they could never just be friends. It was either they be together or every time she saw him she would hurt so much more. Everything felt so right at this moment in life. There was no way she was letting go. Ever.

Kelly hugged him tighter when he shivered. She wanted him to say those three words that meant so much to her. But of course, there was a chance he wouldn't. Hopefully though, he would. And he did. She smiled softly, that small smile as she looked up at him. Of course, this was just way too emotional for her. Even if it meant him leaving her, she was happy he had said those words. She kissed him softly, oh so softly. "Gerard. I want us to be together. I dont want us to be ended. Ever. Over. And I can't ever be just a friend. You know how much that would hurt me." She murmured, unable to keep her feelings to herself.

[gerardturner]

i want you tonight
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<sup>No. It wasn't right to say it was over. But it had to be done. It had too. Didn't it? He knew she wouldn't want them to end for real. Knew it would be even harder. But he couldn't live on beside her. Afriad he liked another. What happened if something was to spark between the two? Kelly would kill him. Eat him alive or something. That would be too terrible. She'd hate him. Never want to speak to him Leave the school again. He'd be heartbroken again. </3

Why did she have to say it was her fault? It wasn't. She had left because he had. There was nothing wrong in that. But why did she feel so helpless. If she didn't have him - she had nothing. Kelly could do so much better. Have happiness with someone else. But perhaps she couldn't. Perhaps he was her last hope. Perhaps they really were in love. Honestly. Perhaps they needed to be together. With one another. Oh god. He needed her didn't he. Ger was like her. But he could live without her. He had done. And been happy. Not been sad. Because he knew he would always love her. With. Or without her. But Gerard couldn't hurt again. And was he hurting her. By wanting to end it?

Such a terrible boy. He felt it. Felt so weak at the knees. Weak everywhere. This was because he didn't know what to do. Didn't have a clue. Clueless. Alone in thinking. How could he do this. And be alright? They were going to get hurt. One way. Or another. Gerard didn't want to let go. But remain here. In this position. Everyone (as normal) looked at them. But this wasn't a moment to even say anything. A moment to shout at them. Tell them where to go. No. This moment was full of emotion.

And she kissed him. Kissed him softly upon his lips. A gulp. How could he repay that? Gerard didn't feel like kissing her. Not now. Because it was ever so hard for him. He stayed still for the moment. Hearing Kelly speak again. Oh no. But she wanted them to be together. They couldn't just be friends. Turner knew that. But how could he tell her? What did he even do now? So confused. So alone.

"I can't. I want too, but I can't. I hurt you when I left before, what if that was too happen again? I can't hurt you again Kelly. That killed me before, and I'm so sorry for leaving. I'm a horrible person, I know. I want to be with you again, but I feel I can't." And even though he needed to say it. He felt as though his heart had ripped in two. Gerard cried more tears. More. And more. His tears falling upon her again. But seeing her lips. They were there. And wow - he knew what he was to do. Gerard stroked her cheek softly. Feeling terrible still about what had happened. But he had too. His head pressed against her own. Kissing her so softly at first. But in the end - it was passionate. Like their old kisses. It was wrong - but it was right. All the pain just seemed too go. Just while the kiss continued. But when it stopped they would both hurt again. But while the kiss was to take place - they could be happy.</sup>

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[Kelly Locend]

There was something she could live with. He liked another. But that was something that really didn't matter. True, it wasn't quite right. But in all truth, there could still be love. And in her own mind and heart, she knew they couldn't be broken anymore than they already were. But in all truth. Well. That kind of meant that had to be together again. To fix each other and live together like they once did. There wasn't any way you could possibly deny that. It was just awful. He couldn't leave her here with no one. It was just too hard. Too many times had people left her because of something stupid.

There was too much time in thinking about what might happen if he left her here. And that was precious time they could be making up. It was not good. When he had been gone, she was nothing but a lifeless shell basically. And that was why she needed him. Of course she needed someone to be with, and Gerard was the only one she wanted. It was that simple. Nothing could stop her from being what she was. Nothing. And Gerard was just something that told her she mattered to this world. As a matter of fact, Kelly was pretty sure no one would miss her except him when she was gone, off in the world all by herself. And for some reason, the girl felt like she was nothing without him. Nothing at all. And everything would work out. It had to. She was determined, and when a girl like her was determined, she went through with it.

If Ger was so weak, and if he wanted to stay here, then that should tell him everything. It should tell him that once he leaves her, that he won't ever be right again. Because having been fine without seeing her for quite some time after his leaving, then suddenly seeing her again, well, that was going to hurt quite a lot dear. She knew that this relationship could be fixed, if they both put some effort into it. Then they could be themselves again. The Gerard & Kelly Show once again. But Gerbear wasn't thinking that way. Which was so much worse.

His next words took her by suprise. Very much so. "Gerard. If you want to. You can. Because as a matter of fact, I'm pretty sure we're never going to find anybody quite as right for each other. And we'll always compare everyone we meet and like to each other. I don't know why you think that, but it's wrong. Because we're not going to be able to live without each other." She said quietly, determined, yet silently crying. "If we work together, we can make this relationship what it used to be. I promise." She was holding on, and when he kissed her, she knew that she was right. Everything was right. After this, she knew it wouldn't hurt, even if he was thinking differently. Because she would be able to remember this moment and hold onto it with all her being. And she was happy now. She would be forever.

[gerardturner]

i never wanted to lose you
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<sup>Could they make it work again? Could things be perfect - as they had been months ago? Could they talk of their future? Of everything they wanted? Maybe he was wrong. Maybe what he thought - was wrong. Perhaps they could make it work again. Perhaps things could be perfect. Perhaps they could talk about their future. Yes. Gerard was an idiot. He had no idea how much he had been wrong. Until now. But even so. He needed a wake-up call.

Kelly was beyond right. He knew that all too well. Those words. They were so true. Gerard was not surprised she had tried to fight. She wanted the man she had fallen for back. Wanted to be a couple again. Their relationship was beyond amazing. He could never think anything but that. Those months ago - Gerard had been ready to propose. He wanted them to marry. Have children. And live a life only they could love. Was it so stupid - to want that again? No. For they both wanted the same. But he felt he couldn't have it. That was greed. Even though Kelly was explaining all this. He would compare. Compare another to Kelly - she would always come on top. She was forever his angel. His beautiful everything. It hit him then. He was not ready to lose her. Never ever. Gerard was too much in love. Very much in love.

Gerard never said anything more. After all. He had bravely kissed her. Their kiss would last could well last for hours. Except he had to say stuff. The right kind of stuff. Something that would really bring a smile to her face. Really make her feel special (since she was). So with a smile in his eyes. He broke the kiss. But slowly. Pressing his head to hers afterwards. "You were right you know. If I want it, then I should have it."</sup> He smiled softly. "And we can make this work, just like the last time."

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For the first time today. He released her from the hug. But instead took her hands. Holding them tight. "I can't live knowing that i'm not with you. You're my everything, and that has never changed. I love you Kelly. I honestly do. I'll shout it too the skies - I love you."[/color] He kissed her cheek. Dropping now to his knee. She wasn't tall though. So she didn't seem that far above. Gerard held her hands still. Speaking once more. His mouth rounded into a smile. "Be with me again. This time we'll have what we always wanted."[/sup][/color][/font][/blockquote]

[Kelly Locend]

cause i'd rather waste my life pretending than have to forget you for one whole minute

He was wrong and Kelly had known it all along. Of course, he must have realized this because his face seemed a little cleared. Well, to her atleast. To tell the truth, she was about to break down even though she acted all strong. That whole speech was really hard for her to say, just because she was afraid that he would be all no about it. Kells knew him better than that though, so that was why she uttered it aloud to him. It was worth every ounce she had to get him back. That was just how she was, of course. And that way, she could be happy once again, and not have to worry about things anymore.

They were so right back then. And they would be again. These two had decided on names for their kids already. It was already perfect. So right now, it should be. He was never greedy wanting all that with her. Because in fact, that was what she wanted. She loved him quite a lot. Kelly knew she would compare everyone to him if he left her, and then she would never be happy with that person. Just because they didn't match Ger and they weren't exactly like him. He was all she needed. Kells had known from the first second that she was not ready to lose him, nor would she ever be. Until the day that they died, and then forever more in heaven. He is her everything, and you couldn't take that feeling away from her.

She saw that smile in his eyes after the kiss, and she knew something was up. Something good. Hopefully. Unless he was the type of malicious person who liked to hurt people. But that wasn't her Ger. Deffinitely not. She smiled slightly as he pressed his head to hers, glad to be there now. Because his next words sounded so right to her ears. Music, as a matter of fact. There was nothing that could make it go away. Cue the violins people! Hahahaha. "Yes. As long as the other person wants you. Which she definitely does." Her smile was wider now. "We will make it work. I am sure of it."

She wanted to stay in that hug, but his next move was okay too. She smiled, laughing slightly, tears glistening slightly in the sun. "See, I was right. You're definitely my everything. I love you too Gerard Turner. You know that." Man, why did he have to make her feel so short? Oh, that was because she was short. On his knee he came up to her chin, maybe a little higher up. Seriously. She smiled back at him, her white teeth showing completely as she looked at him. "Of course. You know I couldn't ever say no. We'll have everything we always wanted, plus more. I promise." She said softly, sitting down and wrapping her arms around him. Awh. They are too amazing not to be together. For shuree.

[gerardturner]

the inside lingo at me at hello
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<sup>So long ago - they had chosen names for their children. It seemed weird. Odd. But they had always known they'd still be together. And they would. Nothing changed what they wanted. Nothing. They had always wanted each other. Nothing more. Happiness for the both of them. They could have that. They wanted that. They had that.

The whole kiss gave him butterflies in the stomach. Like their first kiss again. But different. It was like they'd never broken up. They could pretend. Somehow. One way or another. They'd find out. Both of them adored one another. Wanted only the best. No one had to know they had ended. Just him and Kelly again. Like before. But better. He knew they could make it work. She was his everything. And she was right - he couldn't be without her. Things had been alright. Yes. They had been fine without her here. But there had been the hole in his heart. What had been caused when he had lost her. Gerard adored her. Loved her. Wanted/Needed her.

"Don't forget that I love you. You are honestly everything I've always needed. I was wrong, wrong to think that I didn't need you." A smile. Tears sparkling in his eyes. A smile played against his lips. Played so wonderfully. She said yes. Never no. The girl kneeled with him. Hugging him. Gerard couldn't be happier.

And again Gerbear kissed her. Kissed her so softly. He couldn't ever lose her. Couldn't ever not want her. She was his forever. And he was hers. She owned his heart - as he owned hers. In love for always. And forever.</sup>

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[Kelly Locend]

You know I try to get close to you

Those names. That really didn't feel like that long ago to Kells, just because it was such a vivid memory. But in all truth, it was months ago. The fact that it was so long ago saddened her, but she was sure they would get into that conversation again. She still was in favor of all the names they had chosen together, both liking what each other had to say about it. That was the thing, these two never really had any disagreements over everything. They were just so compatible.

Kelly remembered their first kiss. It was at the Honeydukes store, and it was just so, well, magical like. They had met not long before, but it seemed like they knew each other so well. And in all truth, they did. Gerard and Kells opened up to each other so easily, just telling things that bothered them and bad experiences and family life almost immediately. It was rare that Kells talked about her dead parents, who were not the type of people she wanted to be like. There was hardly any good memories in thinking about that. It was everything she could do to keep them together and amazing like they used to be. It would take a little work, but with these two, that was nothing. Kelly loved the boy - almost man - more than anything, and that was enough to keep it stuck together.

"Awhh. Now Gee. I love you too. Really. I'm really happy you were wrong." She laughed slightly, knowing she probably sounded like a retard but at the same time cute. That smile playing on his lips was just something she had to laugh about, just because it was rare she ever saw him without a smile. Which meant that this was about the only time he didn't have one on, just a few seconds before this smile.

Kelly smiled when he kissed her again, afterwards playfully pushing him into the grass to sit on his bum. Of course, they were already coming back to normal now. Just because they were so in love. Owning each other's hearts. Plopping down beside him, she laughed, poking his cheek and kissing it slightly. Awhhhhh!

[gerardturner]

i've got the gift of one-liners
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<sup>To be honest, you couldn't get a Kelly without a Gerard. Impossible really. They really were so perfect together ♥ And he loved her.

She gently pushed him down. He sat now. Kelly beside him. She poked him. But kissed him too. Things really were returning to normal. And it had only been a few minutes. Fifteen at the most. But he was just glad. Glad they were being themselves again. Just being with one another. Having a giggle. And kisses. It was honestly everything he needed. Honestly everything he wanted. You see - she was the most amazing girl on this world. And him the most amazing boy. Nuh Uh. He wasn't. Never ever.

Their first kiss. So long ago. But fresh in his mind. It had been in Honeydukes. Yes. They'd met earlier that day. In Honeydukes. But the two students had connected. At that time Gerard had been shy. Things had changed so much from them. He was a sociable little buggar really. Talking to anybody he could. Things had changed so much.

Even of how much he loved her. Gerard loved her more than before. Very much more.</sup>

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[Kelly Locend]

cause i fall three times as hard if its for nothing at all.

Really, that was the truth. There would never be a Kelly Locend without a Gerard Turner. The world was all screwed up if that every happened. And pretty much everyone knew that. Kells definitely did, which was why she had tried her hardest to get him back. There was no way she could bear to see him with some other girl. That would just break her down completely.

They really were returning to normal. Now there was just the playfulness between them that was always there. It seemed these two acted different than Jackson and Aves, but that was alright with her. It was just they expressed themselves more and didn't care what people thought about them. Even if people did seem to watch them all the time. It was different for a seventh year to be dating a first, but he didn't used to be. And he was older than her, as a matter of fact. Laughing softly to herself at this thought, she looked over at Ger. He was the most amazing boy in the world. Obviously. And who was going to change that? No one! That much was obvious. Smiling that wide white smile of hers, she looked around the lake at all the other students. She wouldn't be one much longer, and the thought depressed her more than a little.

"Soo, what do you want to do? I know when winter comes and we get snow, I am so totally going to have a snowball fight with you." The girl laughed, shaking her blonde hair and making it fly all around her face. Greenish eyes looked over at him, the sides crinkling slightly from her smile. It was odd how everything could change in a moment. The world could change in a moment, you just had to care enough to make it change, and most people didn't care enough. But she was one of the people that did care about the world and wanted to change it. Which was why she was taking one small step at a time. Awhh. He was her Gerard, that was for sure. Nothing else. No way was he ever going to leave her.

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