Am i the reason i feel this way? [Brayden]

[giraffe]

Heartbroken.
Thats what Nessa was. She was terribly sad. And she hated herself even more, because it was all her fault. She needed to talk things over with Brayden.

Mr Brayden Christiansen,
I messed up. I'm sorry. Please come talk to me at hangout park.

~Miss Nessa Hansen

P.S. I miss you.

Nessa wrote that to Brayden. She doubted he would really turn up at hangout park, but it was worth a try. She put on a sweat shirt and walked outside. She found her way around easily, as Brayden was the first person that showed her the way to hangout park. She smiled as she thought about them, when they were together, and when they first went to hangout park together. This made a tear swell in her eye. Her eyes were just getting to a point where the swelling stopped. But she knew more swelling would come. She let that one tear roll down her face.

Nessa took a sweat on a swing and slowly and lightly pushed her feet against the ground. She didn't even really start to swing. She just sat there. Thinking.

[Brayden Christiansen]

As Brayden woke up, a tapping against the window near his bed, made him get up and curiously look to see what it was. An owl sat perched on the sill, waiting for Brayden to open the window. He did, and it flew in, clearly looking irritated. It must've been tapping for a while. Brayden untied the letter, and the owl nipped at his finger a bit.
"Hey! It's not my fault, you should have tapped louder!" he said, knowing that the owl, obviously would not respond. It glared at him, and then flew out the window, before Brayden had time to tell it to come back incase he needed to send a reply to the letter.

Brayden found his kitten nestled up in its little pet-bed that his father had sent him, after he told him that he had gotten a kitten. Brayden picked it up, and laid down on his bed, with the little ball of fur curled up next to him. He read the letter:

Mr Brayden Christiansen,
I messed up. I'm sorry. Please come talk to me at hangout park.

~Miss Nessa Hansen

P.S. I miss you.

Thoughts raced through Braydens head. He didn't believe in second chances. If you break up with someone, you should do it, knowing that you won't have second thoughts about it. He thought about it more and more, as time ticked by. Finally, he noticed that it was already 1:30. If he wanted to meet Nessa, he had to get down there quick, even though she probably already left.

Brayden put on pants, a long-sleeved shirt, and then threw over his jacket. He put some food in his little kittens food bowl, and then left the dormitory, and out the Common Room. he zipped his jacket up as he reached the Entrance Hall, and then walked out.

The sun was shining, but yet it was still almost freezing. He walked towards the Hangout Park, and already saw the faint image of a delicate body, swaying gently on the swings. He stuck his hands in his pockets and walked into the Park. Now only Brayden and Nessa were the only ones there. He stopped and looked at her, not knowing what to do, or what to say.

[giraffe]

Nessa heard someone coming. She figured it was Brayden so she did not even turn to see. Nessa took a deep breath. There was a small awkward silence. But then Nessa stood up. Nessa slowly picked her head up. She saw him and started to cry a little. Gosh, why did she always have to cry? She bit her lower lip and stood up. She just simply went over to Brayden and hugged him. She let herself hug him, not knowing if he would push her off, or just leave her there. "I'm sorry. I doubt that you still love me, or even want to see me. But i needed to see you to say that i am sorry." Nessa whispered this all into his ear. She took a deep breath and went on. "I understand if you even hate me, but i wanted to tell you i know it was all my fault. But is there any way we could at least be friends?" Nessa asked letting go of him and looking into his eyes. She then looked at her feet.

[Brayden Christiansen]

As he stood there, Nessa got up and walked toward him. She hugged him, but he did not hug her back, nor did he push her off. She whispered in his ear, a long note, something about saying sorry. He knew he could never take her back, at least, not so soon. It would take time for him to learn wether or not she could handle him, hanging out with other girls. He would never go against his girlfriend, but Nessa apparently couldn't trust him.

She stepped away from him and look down on the ground, and he didn't know what to say. He took her hand and walked with her over to a bench near the swings. He sat down with her, and kept holding her hand. Brayden turned toward her, and put his other hand over hers.
"Nessa. You know, that you meant the world to me while we were dating. I was crushed when we broke up. I just can't go out with you so soon. Nessa, my feelings for you while not fade for a long time, and at the moment, I just can't be with you. Unless you can trust me, and know that I won't do anything behind you, I can't go out with you...ever." he told her. It sounded very final, and he almost wanted to say some other things, but he kept his mouth shout, waiting for her reply.

[giraffe]

Nessa looked to him. He did not hug back. This made her sad and more tears came one after another streaming down her face. She did not look at him anymore. How could he do this? Well she knew it was all her fault. "You know Brayden, Im sorry." She had already said this, but this time it came out with more meaning. She had tears swelling her eyes. She bit her lower lip, and silence fell upon them. She did not wish to fight with him. "Can I trust you?" She said almost asking him to see if she would be able to. "You still mean the world to me." Nessa said between sobs. "But i guess we cant go out ever." Nessa added. "Just like you said." She commented. She felt like she was blaming him, but she said she was sorry. But the last thing she wanted to happen, was for him to be mad at him so she stopped there. "Im sorry." She said but yet once again.

[Brayden Christiansen]

He felt horrible for Nessa, and at that moment, his eyes glistened with tears as well. He couldn't help but let them fall, he wasn't an emotion-less robot. He grabbed her and pulled her into a gentle hug, and buried his face in her hair.

What was he supposed to say? He knew things would never be the same from what had happened.
"I...I want to be with you, Nessa, I reall...really do. I just can't be with you now. Today, or tomorrow, not for a while. All I know is that I want to be with you...someday." he said through choked sobs. He still clung onto her, although he knew it wouldn't last long.

[giraffe]

Oh so now both of them were crying. Nessa couldn't take it, seeing him cry. He then finally hugged her. She relaxed and hugged him back, laying her head on his shoulder, his face buried in her hair.

He told her he couldn't be with her now. She knew that would happen. Why would he ever want to be with her again? Well at least he cared about her. Nessa knew she still loved him with all her heart. "I love you." She sobbed. Whether or not he loved her, was his choice. She did not blame him if he still did not love her as he used to. Nessa let him hold her for a bit longer, but then couldn't take it. She leaned back and looked to him. This was too hard. She hated seeing him crying.

Nessa couldn't take this any longer. Just everything. She took one deep breath, bit her lower lip, then kissed him on the cheek, and then she ran off, jacket in hand, sobbing. This was too hard for little Nessa. She felt so small in this world without Brayden.

[Brayden Christiansen]

She told him she loved him, and ran off, back to the castle. he swung around and watched as she ran down up grounds, and opened the Oak Front Door. He shuffled over to a swing and sat down, tears falling down into the ground, like rain from the clouds. He pulled his hood over his head, and continued to stare at the ground.

"I love you too..."