Elesy LongHorn's Journal

[Elesy Miranda Longhorn *Rp?*]

Entry 1,


Depression


By the name of this entry you can tell it's not happy.
Lately I have been having these stupid nightmares. I have not gotten any sleep!. I haven't been able to be calm I am always snapping about at people. My emotions have been wacked and really mainly depressing. I am In need of sleep and I am very grumpy. I have been very rude and selfive to my loving caring parents.


My life seems to be in ripples of tides and have made me upset. I feel I am useless and worthless. I am In apin of all this depression that has set In and made me upset and in ripples upon ripples. I can't seem to calm down and I feel hurt with the pain of knowing what happened In my past.

I feel this is all I can say tonight so this is where I will leave It now

[Elesy Miranda Longhorn *Rp?*]

Entry 2,


Confusion

My entry Today states on how diffrent I look and the confusion thats welling up inside my head. I have been so confused lately and I do not know what to do about this. I have also had issues Today and found out my once black hair is now, well.....um...er...BLOND!.

I am still having mood swings mainly anger and derpession. I haven't been feeling to well but I guess I am fine for now.

And this is where I live it now to mess with sometime.


Seeya Journal.......

~~~~Signed, Elesy`-`~~~~~

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[Elesy Miranda Longhorn *Rp?*]

Entry 3,





Breakdown



I am in a real breakdown, not the first time and this time I fear I will not come out. I am always depressed and always upset mainly with myself. I am having issues with sleeping and I just can't stand any of this it is tearing me to pieces and my family's heart especally my mom's. I can tell by how much they love me that this is hurting them in the worse possible way. I hate what I am doing and I hate this feeling it's....it's too much.



I have been late to alost every class and I have been outside all night wide awake. I haven't been getting enough sleep when I do get sleep and I can't seem to find anything to help me. I am in so much pain. I am so stressed out I can't find myself it seems and I can't seem to help myself either. I can't save myself from this everlasting unhappiness.

Farewell


=[ Elesy

[Elesy Miranda Longhorn *Rp?*]

Entry 4,



Normal



Today I feel pretty normal and Today everything is perfect and everything for once is good. I feel really happy Today and I couldn't feel any better then Today, welll other then the need pf sleep and all of that but still. I think Today has been pretty normal and everything is great for me I have been having more fun and it's great to feel that other then the short time I was with my mom and dad.



Today is going great I hope it stays this and always is like this but I have high doubts and am doubtful which is the way I am so everyone has to get used to it. But I feel in a way awful for all the pain I have made and all that stuff thats happened to my parents hearts. I feel great other then that big thing but I must stay strong for my mom's hearts sake.

This is where I shall leave it Today.

Farewell

[Elesy Miranda Longhorn *Rp?*]

Entry 5,


Boredom[/u][/size]

Today's been well, boring I have been pretty well bored. I am very bored but who cares it's life and lifes life and lifes upseting and boring so you just have to live with it and deal with it. I am just writing here well because...er I am....gr.. bored and dying of boredom I hate boredom and I hate being in the state of boredom but it's not a big deal it's all well and fine. i will continue to write once i find use im it.

Farewell

[/color][/i]

[Elesy Miranda Longhorn *Rp?*]

---

Entry 6,



Life



Today lifes, been well life like. But Today i have felt diffrent from most days having run onto my boyfriend a day or two ago. This is going to be a short entry since I will be having to go and do some things like write a letter maybe but that can wait a few days. And I think writing in here is blah!. i am talking and writng to a piece of paper but then agian it is useful and I can let all thoughts and actions free in you.

Later,

Elesy

[/right]

[Elesy Miranda Longhorn *Rp?*]

Entry 7,

Bad day

I have been having the worst day and it's gotten worse and worse, nothing is going my way, I haven't wrote in here in weeks, sorry for not doing so sooner, at least I can store everything in you and you can never tell a soul, I am wasting time right now just to write do be lucky!. I guess I will write sooner or later again, I just had to give ou my mood stupid book.


<3 Elesy.

[Elesy Miranda Longhorn *Rp?*]

Entry 8,

Listening to: Evanescence;

Bring me to life

Missing,

and,

Call me when your sober

Mood: Happy

Eyes: Blue

Hair: Dark brown/ black, curly

Date of entry: July, Friday the 13th, 2007

Time of entry: 9:00, pm

Location: Home, up in my room

Currently doing: Ignoring my mom, and, dad's banging on my locked door. Writing.

Currently eating: Nothing, just writing

Sign on bedroom door: Yes, actually just appeared, read; I need peace, and, quiet, loud bangs are loud and noisy, and, very, very rude when people are trying to write in peace

Sitting on: My bed

Wearing: A pair of old faded jeans, a white blouse, no socks or shoes on.

Hair style: Curled, hanging loosely. My picture
My hair is the only part to pay attention to, my outfit is when I was fooling around with my camera.

Annoyed: YES!!!

Talking: No, not yet

Now doing: Bring my wand out, saying spell

Door still locked: No, door unlocked, left ajar

Now talking: Yes, saying doors open

Watching: Parents enter

Why are you happy: Because, it is FRIDAY THE 13TH!!!

Are you lucky: Yes

For: My parents, and, Friday the 13th

Will you allow them to read this: No, never

When will you get to the point of writing something more: As soon as I find my picture, ah-hah


OK, so life's been kind of slow, I am although happy about break, I finally had some fun, loosened up, and, oh yeah, finally came home to my parents they were delighted, very, very, delighted, it kind of scared me of how happy they were, although I am happy too. I have been kind of bored lately. I still have on and off nightmares. I haven't been so excited before, but, IT'S THE 13TH, FRIDAY!!!!, YAY!!!!. I have always loved Friday the 13th. although, I haven't been in the best mood lately, that is til' Today.


Really not to much else to say other then, a home cooked meal tasted very good. I actually think I might go, and, find something more to eat, or read, hm..., hard to choose, I will do both. C ya for now, ta, ta.


Later,

3<Elesy


P.S

Thanks for all your time journal.

[Elesy Miranda Longhorn *Rp?*]

Entry 9,

Listening to: Nothing

Mood: Sad

Eyes: Blue

Hair: Black, curly

Date of entry: July, Sunday the 15th, 2007

Time of entry: 9:05, pm

Location: Home, up in my room

Currently doing: Crying, sitting on my bed, my mom, and, dad sitting with me, trying to get me to stop.

Currently eating: Nothing

Sign on bedroom door: No

Sitting on: My bed

Wearing: A pair of mom's jeans, she just gave me a couple days ago, a light blue blouse, also given to me by mom

Hair style: Hair is down curling at the ends, but, normal the rest of the way, a little messed up, by my mom's hands, which, are wiping away my tears, and, also holding me close

Annoyed: NO!!!

Talking: Yes

Now doing: Crying

Door still locked: Yes, mom, and, dad locked it

Now talking: Yes, saying; it's my fault, I shouldn't have left from there, it's my fault

Watching: Parent's arm's go around my body, as I cry

Why are you sad: Because, my friend is dead

Are you lucky: No, and, yes. yes for my parents, no for my friend's death

For: My parents, and, their help

Will you allow them to read this: Yes, of course

When will you get to the point of writing something more: As soon as I stop crying


Today, had been one of the worst of my life, getting a letter stating my old best friend is dead, and, my other best friend not there. I wasn't there to help either of my friend's now, look, one's dead, the other nowhere to be found, all the more reason Today has been bad.


I am in need of comfort, which, is being given by my, mom, and, dad. I will be writing later, or whenever, I feel I can, just please, please, know how sad I am, book, bye-bye.

Later,

3<Elesy


P.S

Thank god, I have a, mom, and, dad who care.

[Elesy Miranda Longhorn *Rp?*]

Happiness~Worry~Fear~Confusion~Annoyence~Boredom~


HELP ME!!!


OK, life has been very busy, I am luckily passing most of my classes I think, and, I am more happy, yet I still am quite moody, and, still can't escape my emotions, so far, I have been too busy reading, and, studying to even answer any letters that my parents have sent me, but, I don't think it will kill them not to hear from me, but, it might. I feel more calm and, at peace, and, I am ready to accept life, and, my past as it is, and, was, because, now that I have had more time to think, I have thought of all the good results that have come out of it. I've let go of my boyfriend, and, almost had a new one a while back quite a while, but, he disappeared, and, thats fine, because he gave me the creeps, in a way. Now I have a loving, caring, kind boyfriend who cares for me, and, loves me, and, I think once, we both leave the school, we will have a future together, and, I really hope so, because, I love him with my whole heart.

I am somewhat more happy now, and, my mind is cleared, and, free from worry, at least, most of the time, I still have some worries here and there, but, I am perfectly fine now. I have still been having nightmares, and, I have been having a hard time, but, still, I know things are going to be different, I have been to the Medi-witch, and, it helped alot, and, now I feel a little better. Well I feel I have wrote enough for the night, and, i will continue this later, or Tomorrow.[/font]