Guilty As Charged ;; Benji Madden Gone Mad

[crimsontears]

Date; June 10th
Time; 4:30am
Location; Dormitory
Reason; Insomnia // Nightmares
Entry; 1 'It's About Time...'

And, most definitely, it is about time I got another journal. The several I have filled with songs and poems aren't enough to keep me busy much anymore. I've been awful distracted, and Astrid has told me the worst possible news. She's engaged, and it's not to me. No, it's to her first love. Some Michael guy. We've devised a plan to hopefully get things worked out, but I'm hoping for the best.

Sometimes I feel like there's not much keeping me here anymore. I mean, I talk to Astrid. I've made friends, and everything like that. Though I've had a bit of mental frustration, and creativity block, I've composed a little something I feel might eventually lead to a poem. What I have so far includes;

The lighting in my life, a darkness not long ago
Capturing my being completely, though I don't know how to let it show.
I once told myself sadness, was all that was left for me
But through fog I met you, and then could finally see...

See? Mental block causes crappy things. And it's a helluva lot worse than a lot of things I've done. Anyway, I'm tired. I think my insomnia might allow me a little sleep before later. It's Sunday, so I have to have my fun today before classes.

Disclaimer. The poem belongs to my sister.

[crimsontears]

Date; June 13th
Time; 10:21 PM
Location; Dorm
Reason; Not really tired...
Entry; 2 'A Possible Possibility'

Well, hello hello! It's been a few days, and no I didn't forget about you. I've been so busy today! It's absolutely crazy! I went to the MER (aka the Muggle Electronics Room for future reference), and met up with an old friend who I haven't seen since the Spring Fling. Angelina, or Angel. I'm not sure which she goes by now.

Anyways, she's been there for me for a while. Well, kinda. We've been friends I think since last term, don't take my word on it. She was going out with Conor when Conor & I first met, which was like.... two terms ago I think. I dunno how long they went out, but hey. It's not my business. Except, it kind of is. I went with her to the dance because I like her. A lot. =/

It's kind of odd. I mean, I love Astrid more than I thought I could ever love anybody, but this whole engagement has got me thinking maybe that's not going to end right. Maybe she'd be better off with Michael, making her parents happy. But then of course she won't be happy. It's just kind of off. I mean, when I was with Astrid all the time I couldn't have been happier, and now when I see Angel it's the same thing, but.... I just don't know.

If I get with Angel, I'm going to feel so guilty and like I'm betraying Astrid. But then again she said maybe a break is a good thing for us. I just don't know what to think and maybe I should stop writing before I think myself into leaving Trio's. That'd be bad for everyone.

Well, g'night. Hopefully you get some sleep.
//Benjamin

[crimsontears]

Date; June 14th
Time; 6:10 PM
Location; Dorm
Reason; Bored
Entry; 3 'More Possible Than I Thought...'

Well, here I am again! Benji, the one and only. The soon-to-be heartbroken heart breaker. Remember yesterday I wrote that Angel and I might be a possibility? I think she might think so too. She seemed like it at least. I'm not a mind-reader though, and I don't want to push it or anything. But I mean she's not with Conor, I'm really not with Astrid...

It's worth a shot... isn't it? If anyone can get my mind off of Astrid and this whole situation, it's Angel. Her smile alone reminds me of why I like her. And her laugh makes everything else blend into nothing and disappear... it's just... I don't know... Love maybe? We'll have to see.

//Benjamin

[crimsontears]

Date; June 22nd
Time; 11:18 PM
Location; Dormitory
Reason; Boredom, Updates
Entry; 4 'Angelic =)'

Well, it happened! I asked Angel out, she said yes, and well... Apparently she told Conor. He wants to meet with me at the Lake and talk. Hopefully, it doesn't end up too bad. I think Conor's a pretty cool guy, though, he shouldn't have much of a problem...

So, I'll write later. So far there's not much to say.

//Benjamin

[crimsontears]

Date; June 26th
Time; 12:39 AM
Location; M.E.R
Reason; Excitement
Entry; 5 'Break'

The break of the term is coming up! That's all there really is to this entry, but hey. You can't expect me to be a complete genius 24/7. I wanted to go to the M.E.R earlier and watch Bruce Willis' movie Die Hard, Die Hard 2, & Die Hard With A Vengeance. I want to be caught up on my history before I see the newest one =]

//Benjamin

[crimsontears]

Date; June 30th
Time; 12:05 AM
Location; Dormitory
Reason; Boredom, insomnia
Entry; 6 'Confusion'

Well I'm not sure what to write about. I haven't seen Angel in a few days, sadly. And Astrid has been kinda distant as well. I'm not sure, there might be some stuff going on. I'm curious as to what; but since I'm not her boyfriend, it's not my business I suppose.

Anyway, There's nothing else to write about, so I'm gonna go.

//Benjamin

[crimsontears]

Date; July 1st
Time; 2:04 AM
Location; M.E.R
Reason; Boredom
Entry; 7 'Meeting New People?'

I'm excited! I want to go to the magical menagerie today and I might get a puppy! I hope they have the new breed I heard about, a mixture between a shih-tzu and a silky terrier. It would be so cute!

Umm I'm hoping to meet a few new people before the break. All I've got now is Conor & Angel, Astrid came back but she's disappeared again. Maybe I'll just walk around and hope to meet new people. Eek, sounds horrifying! I'm no good with meeting people, it's absolutely dreadful!

Anyways, again, nothing to write about. Loves. By the way, my pen's dying. Hence the darker color =/

//Benjamin

[crimsontears]

Date; July 10th
Time; 1:46 AM
Location; The Hallway =]
Reason; Excitement
Entry; 8 'Summer Vaca'

Sooo the term ends today =] It's officially not term 13 of Hogwarts anymore, and I might just barely slink by to be promoted. I'm actually planning on hanging out with Astrid, not sure where though. I'm in the hallways now, and I sent her an owl to try to find me sometime. =/ Anyway, gotta go, I think I hear someone coming...

//Benjamin

[crimsontears]

Date; July 15th
Time; 1:44 AM
Location; Tent
Reason; Eh...
Entry; 9 'Missing Person'

So... um... I ran into Astrid. She's kinda... different. I mean, I dunno. Yeah, I'm with Angel now and everything but she's acting like we've never even met before. Maybe I've changed or something... I... I dunno. I don't like this at all. I miss Astrid, of course I miss her. But... she doesn't seem to want to know.

She doesn't really care I don't think...

//Benjamin

[crimsontears]

Date; July 18th
Time; 3:00 AM
Location; Dormitory
Reason; Schedule
Entry; 10 'Term Begins'

Class Schedule
D.A.D.A.: July 21, August 8, August 25, August 28, September 15, October 1

Potions: Not currently listed

History of Magic: July 22, August 12, Sept 2, Sept 23

Charms: July 19, August 9, August 24, September 10, September 24, October 5

Transfig.: Unlisted

Herbology: July 20, August 10, August 31, Sept 21, Oct 12

===

I figure if I have it in here I can carry this around as my schedule book. At least then I'll know I made it to classes on time.

//Benjamin

[crimsontears]

Date; July 22nd
Time; 6 A.M.
Location; Dorm; preparing for class
Reason; Updates? Idk.
Entry; 11 'A Few Classes Gone'

I think I'm doing alright in my classes. They've all been okay so far. I heard from Kamy that Dueling Tactics was horrible the first day. Haha. She said they got attacked by the Auror/T.A. Yikes. >.<

I'd hate that. I heard the most hilarious song today in the M.E.R. I was listening to the Bob & Tom show, and there was a song called Yeah Toast! It was a guy beating on a toaster, singing about [duh] toast. It was sooooo hilarious I almost died of laughter!

Also, Conor dumped his girlfriend before I even got to meet her. How stupid. Haha. I at least wanted to meet her!! Anyway, Kamy got attacked by a giant green fish thing at the lake. Poor thing. I'm glad she's okay though.

YEAH TOAST!!!!! XD

//Benjamin

[crimsontears]

Date; July 24th
Time; Early? No.. it's like, 4.
Location; Getting ready for the dance
Reason; I dunno.
Entry; 12 'Dance, Dance'

Okay. So the dance is tonight. I hope Angel will show. I've only seen her once, sadly, since term started. I'm going with Angel, obviously. But that's not the point. I've got nothing to do tonight. Okay, I lied. I have to write two paragraphs on Muffiliato. How stupid.

I don't even know that charm/curse/thing! I almost slept through that class. Blah, anyway. I better go get into my dress robes. I'll maybe write after the dance.

//Benjamin

[crimsontears]

Date; August 19
Time; 9:00 PM
Location; Daydreaming x.x <-How cheesy!
Reason; Updates
Entry; 12 'Angel's Pornstar'

Alright. So, it's official. I am Angel's porn star, and she's my super model. Yep. We discussed it in Dallin Tower. She brought up her dream job, and she wants to be a super model. I think she'd be absolutely amazing at it, she's gorgeous and sweet.

My dream job? Ha. I joked around and said I wanted to be a porn star, but stay-at-home dad fits me better. Except then I'd have to take out my piercings. -pouts- At least the facial ones. Which is like, five billion. Ha, no, kidding. Just three if you don't count the ears.

Anyway, I'm out; I gotta go to bed.

//Benjamin