. yobigoe : SEIBO †

[Donavein Wu]

no virgin me, for i have sinned

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BLACK BOOK of HIS INFERNAL MONSTROSITY
.the restricted zone of mr. wu's written whims.

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it's raining stones, it's raining bile
from the luxury of your denial[/font][/center][/strike]

[Donavein Wu]

thirtieth day of january, two-thousand eight

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To all the voices in my head---

It seems a university wasn't the nightmare I had been anticipating... Neh, scratch that. I lied. One of those psychiatrists just told me to be optimistic. I can't remember which one and I thank whatever devil that saved me from having to take those screwy 'happy' pills. If I have to talk like that all day I might actually be a monkey... or human rather.
I get to go to classes. I want to grow up be amongst my own species, I mean just say it- dangerous creatures, it sound like they might understand me. OR, I could discover some colony of veelas and, well, I don't mind parties and they like to dance.

First checkpoint of a pointless entry- the Letter. Mom decided I would need comfort. He's pushing himself to far I think, he sounded so sweet I almost threw-up. Sweet, indeed. He's what he wrote [I'll translate later]:

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*SISTER FARTS HERE*

Dear Donavein,
I truly hope things have been going well for you. A university! It must be sooo big! But you made it, and I'm proud. I guess that foster couple might have done something a little right? Hmm? Maybe? Things aren't to hard are they? I wouldn't want you to push yourself to hard, and neither would any of your friends back here at home! They miss you too. Kodi even cried, the poor thing... But we don't want to deplete any fun you might be having! I bet you've made friends, and is the food good? You haven't eaten then out yet have you? Maybe that'll keep you from running away, what say you to that? Keeping in your place for a good meal everyday!
We miss you,
Mr. Duncan Burke (aka Mom)

]By now you're either laughing, crying, being overcome by warm feelings or... throwing up. But the translation was easy, all you have to do is reverse a lit- No.. wait. Reverse a lot- No, no again... Reverse everything. Here we go:

Donavein,
Are you miserable yet? A university. How the hell did you make it this far? What did that foster couple do to you? You having a hard time along with being miserable? You aren't gonna push yourself at all anyways. Everyone at th orphanage are mysterious happy. (Wonder why?) Kodi was crying, I think they were tears of joy. I hope you're happy and have enough to eat. Maybe you'll actually stay this time. It would be a nice break. Just be good enough so they don't kick you out.
Mr. Burke (and IF you reply do not call me Mom!

He's so freakishly nice it's no longer nice.

As for seconds- I found an actual dangerous creature. Her name is Sakura Haruno and she had pink hair. Scary, I know. The encounter occurred at some place with candy. What do you call this species? Pinkmomilosis... or is that a disease? Either way, she makes me ill. Literally. This may just become matters of survival. I'm all a quiver with anticipation.[/font][/blockquote][/size]

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[Donavein Wu]

april thirtieth, two-thousand nine

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to a hot potato---

I have stuck my mouth to, too many different places as of lately.
Haruno has a tally of three.
Lip service on the fritz? I can't understand. It's not emotional, in fact I have not been exercising any actual feeling. So, that possibility is out of the equation. However, I want to ask, just to initiate wonder, what happened to those things people act out of?
Happiness?
Don't get to that much with potatoes and tar on the mind.
Sadness?
Aha. Hahahaha. Oh god. I just laughed. On the inside FYI.
Anger?
I'd do this if I wouldn't end up competing with all the anger life throws at me via human beings. You just can't meet people like Haruno, Faal, or Mom and not have some rough spots with fate.
Fear?
Uh... Damn. I just out witted myself.

Is it I am made of concrete or does that feel more than I do? I will throw a cow if it ends up I am lost without those leather psyche-wards. They never helped me when I went, how the hell is it that they are not-not helping now?
Better not be missing someone. Then I'd die of laughter in Haruno's lap. What god damned universe is that happening in again? I'd like to detonate it.

Alright. Is it possible to get back to to the initial subject then, with the mouths and lip service? Yes or no, I will present a theory; I am too generous. There are so many female-bodies that are kiss-crazed because they're too weird to be close to. I guess I have proved, even though I am weird myself, the problem of not being close to someone has never been raised. Hark! Donavein, he who delivers the smooch to she without much body love.
I don't know. Nothing makes sense.

Sighing off,
Donavein Wu, a hot potato right now

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[Donavein Wu]

may twelfth, two-thousand nine

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To the people---

Once upon a time an atomic bomb was detonated and the human race was so unprepared that only eight people could be saved. They chose eight special people, went to a special safe house, everyone else died a special death of radiation exposure.
Then the eight special people died of AIDS. BO<gasp... Those eight did one thing wrong. They did not vote me onto their smile-I'll-live-on-to-repopulate crew. [note: Why is everyone so concerned with repopulation? You wanna take the fun out of everything?]
Anyways. I am a guaranteed zombie in a senior home. I will be that snowball effect for the future community. I do one wrong and suddenly everything is down the crapper.
NOW THINK, how the new world would be if I could REVERSE that ability. Turn that smile upside down... or something. At least frown rhymes with down.
Y'know, repopulation is not my biggest concern, it is actually the Nestles butterscotch morsels. I mean does anyone know how to make them? Anyone? They're going to run out someday and I seriously do not think I could take that. Think of the zombie in the senior home, I will go there, which, here's a positive trait- I am instructively relentless. A man of my world.
Don't think that makes me honest. *ahem*
But if I promise it, it will happen. Except for babies. I am not a dad. I'm not good with children. And unless you don't mind your innocent, little meat loaf learning the ABC's of Obscenities [note: evil rhymes again] keep the diaper-monger away.
Now I guess there's a future for anyone who survives. 'Cept for me. I don't believe in futures unless you're absolutely sure you are not going to DIE. We live life at a 43.3333% living rate. I think there are more ways to die than come to life. We all basically come from a uterus. There are more ways to die. Death has got baseballs, barbecued chicken, blankets AND pillows, toilets, toilet babies, electric outlets, carbon monoxide, pots, pans and for god sakes, death has got vacuums. Any of these things can and will kill you, sooo, if you want to live have me around to be the omniscient one. I can taste danger, two feet away.
But I was talking about futures.
Our... MY future community will be a mobocracy. No one ever listens to mobs, and honestly, they've got something to say, or burn.
We will all live in one hundred story apartment buildings. The rooms will be tiny, boxy ones for all so EVERYONE is FORCED to be outside. I don't care if they sit or fondle out there I wanna see people outdoors.
As long as I've got Nestles people can eat what they want. One condition though; DO NOT died from it.
Goddamn people, don't pass away where you eat.
And my perseverance, you wanna know about that? I have refrained from saying f#$% this entire time!
...Okay. I made it this far.
But why are we focusing on the bad? I've got good traits. Hell yeah. Like I have no addictions or STDs and I've been tested for both so I'm not just yanking your chain.
As for negatives... Negatives that I have? I'm hurt you'd even think that is a possibility.
...

Alright. I am a scoundrel. I'll just end up being a second coming of Hannibal. Just euthanize me before the bomb hits, I don't want to become a zombie.

Sincerely your Fuhrer,
Boodgie Woogie Wu

[guess whu?]

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