hand behind this pen relives a failure everyday

[Kali Rune]

__

Slow down, the world isn't watching us break down
It's safe to say we are alone now, we're alone now
Not a whisper, the only noise is the receiver
I'm counting the seconds until you break the silence
So please just break the silence

Kali's journal notebook;

If you know what's best for you,
then you should slowly put this down
&& pretend that you never found this.

[Kali Rune]

March 29^th 2008

Mood: Could be better, or could it?
Location: On a tree
Music: Jet Dashboard

"I am flawed but I am cleaning up so well"

I have decided to start a journal. I know it's lame and all but i just did. Why? I don't really know. Maybe i was just felt like making one. I know that it's totally pointless. I'll just write about crap that doesn't even matter and that would be all. Maybe it's for the memories. But what memories would it hold really? My memories and thoughts aren't even that important. Not even a tiny bit. Maybe i should just stop talking about this...whatever this is and talk about something else?

Well...i dont really know what to talk about. I know i'll probably just rant on unimportant things, just like im doing right now. Ugh. I wish that sometimes i could just write about things that matter instead of just thinking it [things that matter to me at least] but they all just get lost before i write it. I know it sucks. I do have other thoughts i've written down but it's on my other notebook. So yeah...

I think i should just stop right now. I thought that i have something to say, a thought or something but now it's lost.


xx Kali

[Kali Rune]

April 25^th 2008

Mood: ...
Location: in the dorm
Music: 30 Seconds To Mars

"He’s a stranger to some and a vision to none"

So...what's been happening since the last time i wrote? Nothing much really. Things are just staying the same i guess. School's still school. Life's still it's same old self, and im usually just left with nothing to do.

But that's alright.

I couldn't believe how time seem to fly by too fast. Sometimes i feel like im really just a bystander. Sometimes i feel like while the world continue its revolution, im just there standing, watching what would happen next but coudln't really do anything to help. I mean even sometimes i feel like in my life, i don't even have much control and i don't even understand why. Maybe i do feel like i don't have control because everything is just moving way too fast that i can't think clearly, and just think of what i could do.

There are other times though that life seem to just slow down. And sometimes those times aren't even the best time for time to slow down. Well, i don't know...

I don't even know what to say right now too and i can't even remember what i was suppose to be writting. I think i should just shut up.


xx Kali

[Kali Rune]

October 14^th 2008

Mood: ...
Location: somewhere under a tree
Music: Third Eye Blind

"Before you take a swing, I wonder what are we fighting for?
"

Hello stranger. I know i haven't written here in so long. I've almost forgotten of your existence and for that i am sorry. I guess, things have just slowed down a bit. Or has it really?

A new term is present, and i can't say much about how's it going to be like. Would i like it the way i had liked my classes the year before that? Would it be better or worst? I don't really know.

When i began writing again, to be honest i didn't know what to say. Maybe i just wanted something to do, something to write although there really is nothing I'm writing about right now. Maybe I'm just stalling? But from what? I don't really know...

To me, time is very confusing. Sometimes it just flies, and sometimes it just want to hang around. It drives me nuts sometimes not knowing what the heck I'm suppose to do, because i know I'm not suppose to be just sitting by watching life pass me by. But what else can i do?

I know, maybe I'm not making any sense at all. Maybe I'm just ranting on and on like i do. Maybe i really am saying nothing but only want to fill words into this journal of mine. But what am i really trying to say?


xx Kali

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[Kali Rune]

july 17^th 2009

Mood: extremely confused
Location: hiding
Music: damien rice

"its a small crime and i've got no excuse"

i've been thinking lately about many thinks. but i guess, well...i dont know. maybe, just maybe the whole idea of not knowing is something that screams WARNING or DANGER. i was just thinking about that. i know that not knowing things just part of life, and you just have to deal with all of these things. you just have to deal with life. but the thing is, i think that it's true. not knowing the future, if there is one is something that scares people. is that maybe the reason why i write? is that reason for everything?

but then im not really sure about anything. i guess, when i was little i always thought that i knew things, that everything has a solution, that things are just simple. but the truth is, they're not.life is a really complicated mess isn't it? nothing is ever simple, and i guess i should just stop writing for now because if i dont i'll probably keep on talking to myself. which of course is not something anyone would suggest to another person.


xx Kali

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