that's not my NAME;

[Professor Cole A. Halliwell]

It seems you have stumbled upon the diary of
Mr Cole Aleksandar Halliwell
I suggest you leave, before you find out more than you bargained for;

[Professor Cole A. Halliwell]

Dear You,

18th June 2009

To think that she's marrying him while I stand on the sidelines. To really honestly think that she, after all that has happened - and all that has been - would choose him over me. To think that I would lose out, I would lose the final battle to Straw effin' Buckett. Well that's just great.

Of course, if it had been anybody else, I wouldn't mind. But it just hurts. It just doesn't feel right. Why him? Why now? Why when I come back does this happen? And why on earth is she so damn frustrating? I go up to her, I go near her, I reach out to touch her and she just comes running. She smiles she flirts, she kisses and she smiles. It's as if nothing has changed, except that the hand that brushes mine does so accidentally, the lips that touch my skin do so foreignly. They aren't mine to have, they're not mine, not mine, not mine.

His.

I hate it. I hate the smirk on his face. I hate the way he looks over at me as he touches her. As he caresses her. As he gives her that smile. I hate his eyes and all they tell me. I hate his lips as they touch hers, his hair as it mixes shades with her own. I hate everything about him but there is nothing I can do to stop him. Or to stop anything about him. To prevent it happening, I am powerless. And so instead I'll turn to other media, to anything that will get my mind off the ultimate pain that is seeing her, as she is. She looks happy. She pretends to be. But she's really, really not.

There's that look that she never had... back then. That smile, that little glint in her eye. It's gone. It's lifeless. It's as if she's dead inside, as if something's gone. Where did she disappear to? I just want her back. Please, give her back.

Please?

Yours,
CAH

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