you only live once you know :: Straw

[Queety White]

525,600 minutes.
How do you measure our last year on earth?

[/i]
He had been ignoring her. That was obvious. Every time she tried to send him an owl, there was no response. Whenever she dropped by his house, the door would open slightly so she could see half his face and then it would slam shut again. Other times only his wife would be home and while, she was caring and helpful, it still did not make up for his coldness.

Finally, Queety could not stand it anymore. She had been back for over a month and she had not shared more than two words with her best friend. She was still confused about what had happened for the time she was gone, just some fuzzy images of a man who looked awfully familiar. Most of the scars on her arms were fading and she had gotten a new wand to replace the one she had lost over the course of her lost time. There was still work to be done to try to get her to remember everything but that was a day to day process.

The only thing left was to clear up any misconceptions with Straw. She had accidently misinterpreted her few memories and that, along with the fact that she had not shown up to his wedding, caused a tension between the two of them, a tension that Queety was about to break today. She made plans to go to the one place he could not escape her.

She stepped into the Ministry of Magic, wearing her glasses and her hair charmed to be thick small, curls. Wearing clothes that she normally wouldn't, she hoped she could sneak in without anyone easily recognizing her. She introduced herself as a reporter and she wanted to speak with the aurors about a recent case they had covered. She was directed to the third level where she instantly saw the Auror department. Straw was there, the only person in the department at the time. Queety smiled softly and tapped the top of her head with her wand. Her hair immediately fell straight again, the way it normally was. She did not take off her glasses though since her vision had worsened since the accident. But at least she would be recognizable again.

Queety walked straight up to Straw and put her hands on her hips. "Long time, no see, Buckett," she began.[/color]

[Straw Buckett]

There was no denying it, Straw was a stubborn twat. With the babies due to come in the next month or so, life had become rather stressful. Straw barely had time for himself then anyone these days. If he wasn't working, he was out getting a chocolate milkshake for his over pregnant wife or cooking dinner or getting the nursery organised or getting into trouble for forgetting she really wanted caramel and not chocolate. He was barely able to keep intouch with Kelly, if she didn't live so close he didn't know what he would do. At times Straw was ready to kiss the dam girl in thanks for all her efforts to help him and Kat.

With Kat being so overly pregnant and due any moment, Kelly and Straw had been taking turns keeping an eye on her. They both took alternating days to visit her during lunch and usually tagged each other with a friendly high five as they passed each other in the hall way as one ended and the other started the 'Kat watch' shift. It was understandable that neither could last long in the presence of the pregnant lady.

So it was with a spiteful thoughts was Straw reluctantly waiting to talk to the reported who was being 'buzzed' up. Ok short and sweet, faster i get this done faster i can get lunch! thinking with his stomach as always as he tried to fix his robes and flatten his hair. He hadn't seen her come in for if he had she probably wouldn't have time to say those words to him. It was too late, she'd seen him and there was no getting away.... "what do you want?" was all he could manage as he stared at her.

Straw was still mad at the woman. He was mad and hurt that she could ever think he would do something like this to her. Yes the whole thing didn't make sense but to point a finger at him with no proving evidence except that fact that she had loved him and he didn't in that way.... He didn't need that and was sadly uninterested in being her friend.

but he missed her... he couldn't help that...she was his bestfriend

[Queety White]

Queety squinted her eyes. "Okay, attitude much?" she scoffed.
"Every time I go out of my way to see you, you take off running or slam the door in my face or crap like that. I know you're still practically a little kid and all but could you at least have the maturity to confront me like a grown man."

She crossed her arms over her chest and waited for him to respond. When he didn't, she sighed and walked closer to him. "Okay, well, this is sufficiently awkward. But basically we need to have a talk because there are obviously some misconceptions. So if you're gonna be all quiet and stuff, I guess I'll start."

Queety ran her hand through her hair as she tried to think of where to begin. "I was... delirious to say the least that day when you found me. I don't even remember much of what happened then. Just flashes. My memory's been in a fog ever since I came back. Even new memories are kinda iffy sometimes. But I do remember seeing some strange man and the first thing I my mind, which was obviously not intact, I may add, came up with the wrong conclusion.

"I don't think you did anything and I can understand why you're angry that I accused you of something you didn't do," she continued. "But that's in the past and what I want to know is if there's something else I did wrong to really upset you. Because I hate how we can't even talk to each other. I'm sure you're going through a lot with your family and stuff, but I think I've got it worse right now. And it would be really nice if I had my best friend to talk to. Why is it that the one person who is giving the most support right now, besides Kelly, is your wife? Why can't it be you?"

Queety quickly wiped her eyes with the back of her hand. No time for tears or a desire for sympathy. She had to stand strong before him. "If you want an apology, that's no problem," she finished quietly. "But at least tell me what I'm apologizing for."

[Straw Buckett]

Straw sighed inwardly. "you can certain say that" he murmured. Straw didn't like confrontation so much so he was prepared to dodged around his bestfriend to avoid it. We all grow old, we have years to get over it and move on..i'll be ready to talk then

Straw didn't want it to be like this as he believed he was reasonably and rightfully allowed to avoid and be annoyed at her. However the hard part about this now was she had said too much for him to ignore, enough to make him realise the topic could no longer be avoided.

As much as he tried to listen it was hard not to snap back. "well why would say such a thing if you had no idea what was going on or couldn't remember?" Straw now crossed his arms across his chest then quickly uncrossed them when he realised how much of a little kid he must seem. He managed to listen to all she had to say before adding anything "Look... I... I was hurt ok!!! I ask you the same question White- if we're supposed to be best friends then why did you drink yourself silly and not show up to my wedding? I wouldn't have minded if you'd have shown up drunk, just to know you were there and not thinking of yourself and how unfair it was that I wasn't in love with you instead!" Straw's voice rose with every word, he stopped as he realised he had was almost yelling.

"You weren't there and it meant a lot to know you were past this drama and able to just be happy with being my best friend and nothing else." Straw needed to paused once more as his heart rate rose and he began to feel awful for expressing his thoughts and feelings. This was the reason he'd been avoiding the topic, avoiding her and they're situation. "I want to be your friend but its dam hard to be when you lie. I don't want your open apology for all the above categories, I want you to be ... I just want you... I want you to be you and us to be friends without any...any crap!"

Straw was sick of drama, he'd grown up with it and just didn't want to be apart of it anymore. He turned his back on her and stretched his arms. "I dunno there is it for you Queety, I don't know what else to say. I just wish you hadn't of pointed the finger at me for you drunken state and mess"

[Queety White]

Queety's mouth dropped open as she stared at him in shock. For a long moment, she was speechless. Drink herself silly and not show up at the wedding?! She did not even know how to react. She could not retort with a single word because she was focusing all her energy on keeping her shaking fists calm. So she just glared at him in silence. But Straw was able to fill in the silence by making further accusations.

By the time he finished, Queety could not hold it in any more. She normally was a very passive person, holding in any emotions and just having a smile. But when she got angry, it was quite a dangerous thing. Straw was sure to not easily forget their confrontation last February when she got angry. Now, it almost seemed like the situation was going to repeat itself. She stepped forward and before she knew it, her hand was making a beeline for his face.

But before she was able to smack him, she stopped, her hand just a few inches from his cheek. Queety stared at her hand for a second and then crumpled it up in a fist. Pulling her fist close to her, she sighed, closing her eyes to keep herself calm. "I'm sorry..." she whispered.

"... but you're an idiot."

She looked back up at him, tears already filling her eyes. "First of all, I don't remember anything prior to a month before your wedding. I don't think blacking out from alcohol would cause that sort of effect. I had every intention of going to the wedding. Second of all, when you found me that day, I had already spent a week lost and confused and scared. I had barely eaten or drank anything. I had these weird scratches on my arms. I wasn't drunk. I was dying.

"And third of all," Queety finished, her body trembling, "Just because I'm still in love with you doesn't mean I would do anything to mess up the happiness you have. I would not deliberately do anything to cause drama. I value our friendship too much."

She cautiously took a step forward and reached out to touch her hand against Straw's arm. "I'm sorry that there has to be this crap going on. But we need to get over it because I'm afraid that some day I'm gonna wake up and suddenly remember what happened to me. And I want you to be the one who's gonna tell me it's gonna be okay," she said quietly. "Because that's what best friends are supposed to do."

[Straw Buckett]

He deserved it, more then she probably realised. If only she'd followed through....
Straw's eyes clamped tight as he prepared for the slap. What did he honestly expect, such an outburst deserved nothing less. He flinched when nothing came. He'd felt the icy hand of his friend once before and was sure he was about to relive in once again. Instead he was graced with something much smoother and warmer upon his arm.

Straw wasn't really sure what to expect next. He probably shouldn't have said what he had and quite quickly he was wishing he could turn back time. The silence between them now was awkward once more. It was painful and Straw wished for anything to interrupt them right now but that would never really solve anything.

His eyes darted to her hand on his arm. It was funny how with a single touch it can completely change how you feel about a person. A mother hand to your forehead could fix any illness, a slap brought brought anger and tears and a kiss brought love and hope. And with a single touch - forgiveness and regret.

"No," he whispered gently. "don't be sorry!" and he reached up and grabbed her hand.
"You're right... I am an idiot... sorry.. shouldn't have said those things... " he continued to whisper.

It was hard to hear but most of it needed to be said. Like an aggressive pimple that needed to burst. "You scare me you know" he said a little louder, "Thought I was going to loose you," Straw, who still held her hand in his gave it a little squeeze. "I've been a Twat...big fat one really.." he sighed, "Been busying thinking of myself...can you forgive me?" he asked finally lifting his head to look at her properly. "friends?"

[Queety White]

"You didn't know," Queety shook her head. "You didn't know anything about what had happened. But you would have if you had just took a second to listen to me. Instead, you avoided me. What made you think that I would truly act the way you accused me of? Didn't some part of you believe it wasn't true? Even when I thought you were the one who did this to me-" She lifted up one of her sleeves, exposing her forearms. Though the scars were fading, they were still prominent against her dark skin. "- the whole time, I didn't want to believe it. And when I realized it really wasn't you, I was glad that I never truly believed I did."

She felt him squeeze her hand and apologize himself. "Of course I forgive you," Queety responded, not looking up at him. "But only if you forgive me." Even though Straw had been an idiot and partially caused the rift between them, Queety was just as responsible. She had scared him and was not able to explain the whole situation sooner. She, too, had been thinking about herself. She was selfish, constantly wanting everyone to help her solve her problems, instead of wondering if anyone else was having their own issues to deal with.

"Of course we're friends," Queety said with a quiet laugh. She looked back up at Straw with a small smile. There were tears running down the sides of her cheeks but she did not wipe them away. "When were we never not friends?"

She gave another small laugh but suddenly, the smile on her face began to fade again. She fell forward and pressed her face into Straw's chest. Then, this was when the tears truly started falling. All the emotion she had been holding in about everything was suddenly coming out now. She had not been able to express herself fully when she was talking about the situation with Kelly, Kat, or even Charlie. But while she considered them her best friends, they did not fill the number one spot. Now, that she had her number one again, she truly felt like she was safe.

"I'm scared," she mumbled into his chest. "I know whoever he is, wherever he is, he's still looking for me. And I'm afraid of what'll happen when I meet him again."

[Straw Buckett]

Straw sighed thankful that his best friend just happened to have the biggest heart he'd ever seen. Straw opened his arms and wrapped them around her when she pressed her head into his chest.

"I didn't want to believe it, I was ready to be angry and well seeing you like that just pushed me over the edge. Promise it wont happen again." Straw sighed, his brain was racing. Clearly by now she should be able to remember at least something and not just eyes. "Hmm if it helps I can't not look at you when we talk" he joked smirking inwardly.

With her still in his arms Straw continued to hold her tightly, not wanting to push her away from the only comfort she'd seemed to have had in the past month. Straw might not be in love with the woman but he loved and cared for her more then anyone else in the world. She tied equally with both Kat and Kelly. If anything ever happened to any of them Straw would never be able to pull himself out of the darkness that would slowly consume him.

I'm scared, I know whoever he is, wherever he is, he's still looking for me. And I'm afraid of what'll happen when I meet him again

Straw's heart ached with each word, he felt dreadful and wished there was something he could do to fix it or at least ensure this never happened again. "It's ok... I'm here and I wont let him get you ever again. You're safe now," and kissed the top of her head. Who ever had done this to her was going to pay. "I wont let him get away with this, I promise i'll find him and make sure he pays for what's he's done" he whispered. "I might need your help though but we'll talk about that later," knowing fully well now was not the time. "How about for the mean time you come stay with us?"

[Queety White]

Queety felt a sense of comfort as she felt Straw's strong arms around her. It had nothing to do with the fact that she was in love with him but the fact she loved him. He was her best friend, her comfort, her protector. She knew that she would be safe with him. She heard his words assuring her that things would get better. This was something she had been hearing over and over but, this time, hearing it from Straw truly made her believe that she was finally safe and finally home.

"I'll do anything," she mumbled into his shirt. She pushed her head away and looked up at him. "I will do anything to make sure that there is justice. I want to feel like I can walk down the street without having to look over my shoulder every five seconds."

She wrapped her arms around Straw's middle and pressed the side of her face against him. She did not want to let go, not quite yet. It had been too long since she had the chance to talk to him and tell him everything that was going through her mind. She did not want him to leave.

"The only thing I can't do is remember everything that happened. Someone messed with my mind. I think it was a memory charm. But it must have been done wrong because sometimes I struggle to remember things now. Like, whatever I was doing last night.. I know I had gotten some work done preparing for the new term because this morning I saw it. But I don't actually remember doing the work. It's rather scary."

At the offer for her to stay with them for a while, Queety pushed back slightly and looked up at him. "No, Straw. I don't want to be a burden," she protested. "I should be fine at the school. I mean, the term will be starting soon and I'm trying to prove to them that I'm still mentally sound for teaching and by avoiding any work at the school will not help my case." She paused for a moment. "Yeah, I haven't told anyone except you about the whole memory thing still being really messed up..."

[Straw Buckett]

He was filled with an immense surge of emotions as he stood there looking into her eyes. The interesting thing about holding Queety was that she was the exact height as him. This meaning they were nose to nose, cheek to cheek, shoulder to shoulder. He could naturally press himself against her and feel her breath on his face. . Everyone else he had to bend down or lift up, not really much of a difference but with her...it was a perfect match.

"It's ok," he whispered as she pressed her face to his, arms wrapped firmly round her unready to let go too quickly. She was precious to him, he might have been mad and annoyed but nothing she could ever do would ever stop him from loving her. It hurt to hear how upset and confused she was, he felt bad for having jumped to such quick conclusions. More so, Straw was overcome with immense regret, wishing he hadn't been so prideful. Then he might've searched and saved her. Hunted the bastards that did this to her and perhaps lessened any of the damage inflicted upon her delicate figure. "Don't force it, it will come in time." he said soothingly.

"You're not a burden, anything but" he said quickly interrupted shaking his head. He listened to her continue, "Then I'm ordering that you come stay or simply come visit me at least everyday few days. No excuses." Straw was not allowed in the school and so Queety would have to come to him if he was to keep an eye on her. Evan as an Auror he wasn't powerful enough to influence the headmistresses otherwise.

"Wait, what? You haven't?!" Straw was a little taken back by her secret, "So... not even Evans knows?" his arms loosened and he finally let her go so he could look her in the eyes. "How come?"

[Queety White]

Glad that Straw was just as unwilling to let go, Queety pressed her face into his shoulder. She did not respond to his question right away. She had good reason not to tell anyone that her memory was still not as it used to be. If the school were to know, she would probably have to temporarily leave her job and, if it was not fixed, she would have to leave it completely. That thought scared her. She had already lost her job once before and was not intending of suffering that fate again.

"I've just been pretending that it's my normal ditzy self when I can't remember stuff," she finally whispered. "No one seems to have picked up on it yet. I haven't forgotten anything important since I've been back, just little things. I guess it's stuff I would have taken for granted that I remember it. Like, whether I ate breakfast or if I had gone to the doctors the day before. Of course, I know I'm doing those things but there is no clear memory of it.

"I should probably tell Kelly. But I don't want to make a big deal about it right now," she continued. "There's enough to worry about. Whoever it is, I know, is going to cause greater problems. I'm physically better so I want the effort to be in getting the bad guy. We'll worry about my memory later."

Queety sighed. "But it feels better to tell somebody about it. Now I don't feel like the secret is trapped within me and suffocating me. But please don't tell anyone about this yet, Straw," she pleaded. "Not even Kelly or Kat."

She looked back up at him and gave him a small smile. "If you don't tell right now, then I guess I'll come and stay with you... at least once in a while."