a thousand lives

[Kelly Evans]

The bell above the door of Flourish and Blotts chimed as Kelly Evans pushed open the door. She'd finished work about an hour ago, and so had changed out of her Mediwitch robes and into a plain midnight-blue blouse and dark jeans, black ballet flats on her feet. Her dark hair hung around her face in loose waves, and as she entered the book shop she reached up and tucked a stray lock behind her ear. She had a distinct purpose in the book shop today. She wanted to apologise - again - to Queety about her and Kat's little joke the evening before, with her and Straw's revelation that they had been seeing each other for the better part of a year. Which Kat and Kelly had already figured out, of course, but they had had to go along with the 'surprise'. In their own way. After the initial shock, Straw and Queety had recovered and were amused, but Kelly wanted to make sure that Queety was okay. Kat's performance was worthy of an award, and Kelly would feel terrible if Queety had not been completely won over by their joke. She also wanted to try and talk to Queety about the other little tidbit that Straw had announced at dinner; that piece of information truly had been a surprise, and not a particularly good one. Kelly figured that if anybody could get through to Straw right now about the foolishness of his actions, it was Queety.

Kelly ambled over to the sales desk towards the middle of the store looking for Queety, but the witch was nowhere to be found. Flourish and Blotts was busy, as Kelly had expected it would be, and so she imagined Queety was off in the storage room assisting one of the many other customers. Kelly decided she'd rather wait quietly and look through the shelves rather than call out. It was a book store after all; there was plenty she could do to keep her mind occupied while she waited. Harry Potter's face looked up at her from about a million different titles on various shelves; his birthday had once more come and gone, and thus the usual fanfare had been trumpeted about. Not that Kelly begrudged the man his fame, as it was certainly deserved, but she imagined that he might actually be sick of all the fireworks by now. Kelly wandered over to the section of the store that was reserved for the Hogwarts textbooks, and smiled to herself. There was a gaggle of young people standing around the textbooks, perusing Hogwarts lists, and it made Kelly think fondly on the last time she'd had to buy textbooks for school. It seemed like a very long time ago.

Out of curiosity, Kelly picked up a copy of the advanced potions making books and flipped through it. She hadn't originally liked potions, but as her schooling had gone on she'd developed a love for it, and, luckily, a great skill. It was one of the reasons she became a Mediwitch, as potions played a large part of the magical healing process. Her attention was caught by the pages dedicated to the Draught of Living Death, and she paused, running her eyes down the list of ingredients. She hadn't had time to dabble in making potions for fun for quite a while, and she decided there and then that she would attempt this potion once she got home. She excelled when they made it in school; she wondered if she could do it again on her own.

Kelly looked over at the sales desk to see if Queety had reappeared, but her friend was still nowhere to be found, so Kelly sat down on one of the free armchairs scattered around the store with the potions textbook, enjoying the (relative) quiet.

[Queety White]

This time of year was always full of chaos at Flourish and Blotts. Queety always thought she was prepared, organizing all the required textbooks by year and having signs available to show the students and their families exactly where to go. However, there was always still chaos, particularly with the new students who had no idea what was going on. The muggleborns, as expected, were the least prepared for stepping into the huge shop filled with books on things they had never seen or thought about before. Queety remembered that when she was a first year and therefore had a little sympathy for those particular customers. She could not help but spend the extra time helping them.

As she ran all over the place, she saw Kelly a few times. She would have loved to stop and say hi but each time another customer would grab her attention. Thankfully the day was almost over and most of these customers would be leaving soon. Then she had the chaos of her home to look forward to. She would pray to get at least 6 hours of sleep before coming back here in the morning and starting over. Queety loved her job here but this time of year definitely tested her patience. She kept counting done. One more month until the students went to school and the store calmed down significantly. 

As customers made their purchases and headed out, Queety felt that things were under better control. She flipped the sign on the front door from open to closed twenty minutes early. The perks of being in charge was that she could do things like that. She left one of the other workers to the register as the final few groups were making their way to make their purchases. She quickly ran over to the cafe to ask for two cups of tea. Meanwhile she took off her nametag and pulled her hair out of its pony tail. She quickly shook her head out so it looked somewhat presentable. She took off her work robes which revealed a Weasley's Wizarding Wheezes t-shirt and jean shorts underneath (she had to dress light under those robes to keep somewhat cool in the summer). 

She brought the two cups of tea over to the armchair where Kelly was sitting and placed one on the small table next to it. She then took the other chair across from her. "Don't worry. I wasn't ignoring you," she promised. She curled up with the cup of close to her lips. She knew exactly why Kelly had come here after the fiasco that was the night before. So she remained silent, waiting for Kelly to start. 

[Kelly Evans]

Kelly had been keeping herself busy quite nicely with the potions text book, but she set it aside as soon as Queety sat down beside her, a cup of tea in each hand. She smiled up at the woman and accepted the cup with thanks, taking a sip as Queety settled in and got comfortable. She could see the other woman start to relax after the manic hour or so that had just passed, and so she didn't say anything straight away. Kelly shifted slightly in her chair and tucked her hair behind her ears again, looking once more around the store. "Oh, I know you weren't ignoring me," she laughed, and waved her free hand about the shop. "I would not have stood in the way of all of that! I kept myself busy anyway," she replied, tapping the potions textbook.

She went on, "I have to say, you handled all of that marvellously. I don't know how you do it. St. Mungo's is busy but people generally don't complain about their medical treatment. I heard that one witch arguing with you about the prices of the textbooks; how many times does one person need to be told that you don't set the book prices?" Kelly shook her head in bemused wonder at the ability of some people to test another's patience, and took another sip of her tea.

Setting the teacup aside, Kelly looked at Queety properly, a smile on her face. "I wanted to come in and make sure you didn't hate us for our joke last night," she said, her eyes bright. That was the thing about Kelly - once she had something to say, she didn't beat around the bush. "Because while I can't say that I wouldn't if it had been the other way around," she added with a grin, "I would hate for you to feel awkward or embarrassed. Hurting your feelings was the last thing we wanted to do."

Kelly smiled softly, trying not to be too sentimental here. "But in all seriousness, while I'll let Kat speak for herself, I meant what I said last night: I think it's wonderful that you and Straw have found each other and are happy together. You both deserve it. I just thought it was cute pretending it was a secret when it's so obviously too lovely to keep secret."

[Queety White]

Queety shrugged at Kelly's mention of the rude customers. "It comes with the territory I guess," she responded nonchalantly. "I just try to remember that for every one person who is a jerk to me, there are hundreds of other customers that are so grateful for all the help I provide them. And I know people don't want to spend a lot of money but I'm running a business here and businesses require some sort of income. It's okay though. They can say they're gonna take their business elsewhere but I know it's just to intimidate me. It doesn't work. We're the best bookstore around. They aren't gonna get better deals than here." 

It took a certain personality to work in the retail business. There was a lot of work that was done for little reward. People thought the world revolved around them just because they had the galleons to spend and they sometimes treated the employees as servants rather than workers. However, it took a lot to knock Queety off her feet and upset her. She was an expert at putting a smile on her face and being pleasant with even the rudest of customers. Sometimes her smile was enough to change their attitude entirely. It was like magic! 

Kelly then brought up one of the two topics that Queety was expecting. She twirled a piece of hair and didn't look directly at Kelly. "To be honest, I was super embarrassed. Partially because I was a huge baby and practically burst into tears crying instead of standing up for myself and Straw. I was just so afraid to tell you guys and when Scarlett let the cat out of the bag, I just didn't know how to react. Straw and I had a plan to tell you guys but that fell through obviously. I dunno... I feel like we could have handled it better than we did. Especially keeping it a secret for so long. Well, at least we thought we were keeping it secret," she added with a smirk. 

She paused to take a sip of her tea. There was another thing that had been on her mind for a while now that she had not told anyone and it was really getting to her more and more every day. She needed to tell someone. Kelly was one of her friends but she was also Straw's friend and that made it difficult to confide in her on issues regarding him. But really if there was anyone who would be able to listen without judgement and be able to keep a secret (clearly much better than Queety and Straw ever could as evidenced by the night before), it was Kelly Evans. 

"I, uh, I also didn't want to tell anyone about us because well..." she began, her voice getting quieter. She wrapped her arms around herself like she was giving herself a big hug. She could not will herself to look directly up at Kelly. "I'm sort of really scared about how others would view our relationship given our history. I mean, I'm the same woman who screamed at him in the middle of a bar when he got engaged to Kat because I wanted him to love me. And for a long time, our friendship was sort of scarred by that. And then when I finally get over him and our friendship is absolutely rock solid, we move in together and now he has feelings for me. And I just wonder, why now? I mean, I'm totally happy with our situation and I love being with him. And he says he loves me, too. But I just... I just get scared, Kelly."

She could feel her eyes watering again. She quickly wiped them before she could start crying. "I'm just scared that he's only with me out of convenience, you know," she said even more quietly.

[Kelly Evans]

Kelly reached over and grabbed Queety's hand. "Oh, Queety, I would have cried too. And then I probably would have cursed whoever was so cruel, so please don't be embarrassed any more," Kelly said, her eyes twinkling. "Hindsight is a wonderful thing, and I think we may have taken it too far. So I am truly sorry if you felt slighted." The last thing Kelly had wanted was to mar the happy news, which it definitely was. She squeezed Queety's hand gently before letting it go, and then leaned back in her chair with a smile on her face. "Besides, you have to admit, Scarlett's letting the cat out of the bag was the sweetest and most hilarious thing I've ever heard."

The witch could tell that Queety had something else on her mind, so she sat quietly, sipping her tea while Queety gathered her thoughts. Kelly's brow furrowed slightly in concern, but her gaze softened as Queety admitted her fear. Kelly, well versed in the emotional baggage that always accompanied Straw and Kat and their attempts at loving one another, had half expected Queety to feel this way. "I know what you mean, Queety," she said softly, not looking away. "I understand why you would feel this way. But you have to understand something," Kelly paused, not wanting to betray Kat but feeling that Queety deserved to understand a little better than she did.

"Kat loved Straw - she probably will always love Straw, in some way - but she could never love him the way he wanted her to, or give him what he needed. Which is not a criticism of her, don't get me wrong, because he could never truly give her what she wanted and needed either; they are just two very different people, who's paths will always run parallel to one another but won't cross again." Kelly paused again, letting her words sink in.

"But you? Queety, I can tell that Straw loves you, and that you and he will be able to love each other the way you both need and deserve. Trust me: Straw doesn't do anything out of convenience. Especially not love. He loves to the tips of his fingers. It's the only way he knows how. You wouldn't be such a huge part of his life if he didn't want you in it."

"For what it's worth."

[Queety White]

Queety appreciated everything Kelly was saying. And it was reassuring to hear it from someone who knew Straw so well. And Queety herself wanted to believe those words as she had often told herself the same thing, that Straw would never consciously try to do anything that may potentially hurt anyone he cares about. But her concern was more that it was an unconscious thing happening. 

"I guess I should explain better," she said. "I'd be lying if I said I wasn't jealous of Kat. I mean, he chose her first. And back then, he told me that he wanted to love me the same way but just couldn't. And that's the thing. I get that his relationship with her is always going to be something special and something different and I'm fine with that. But after years of telling me that he just couldn't love me the way I loved him, why now after they divorced and Straw had me left did he change and start to have feelings for me. It could be that he just never realized it before but I'm sometimes afraid that it's because I was the one left. I don't want to say that I was sloppy seconds but that's what it sometimes feels like. But I could just not be thinking rationally."

Queety sighed and took another long sip of her tea. She knew that she was just spilling out words and feelings all at once. Now that she had begun letting out all the stuff that had been on her mind in the past year, it was not stopping. But perhaps all she needed was some sort of validation, either that her fears were legitimate or there was no way possible that she could be right in her fears. Either way, she was grateful for having Kelly here with her to let this all out. 

"I guess either way, no one can really predict the future," she said with a shrug, "except for Seers but neither you nor I are that. So who knows what will happen with us. I guess the most I can do is enjoy what we have now. And I love what we have now. And really, we have other more pressing matters to worry about with him right now. Like, you know, with the other news he had told you guys."

[Kelly Evans]

Kelly smiled gently at her friend, feeling terribly like nothing she was saying would really help. "That's true, he did say those things," she replied, remembering her own conversations with a very confused Straw about the two very different women in his life. "But maybe he just needed the time as your friend to realise that he could love another person, someone the complete opposite to Kat, and while it will be a different kind of love, it's still real. I can see that." Kelly leaned closer towards Queety, her eyes warm. "And trust me, while I'll never tell you your feelings aren't valid, you are anything but sloppy seconds. Straw and Kat were so very young when they met and they were in love; I don't want to say they were practice but now he knows what he needs and wants, and you're it."

She paused as Queety processed everything she was saying, and she nodded, rolling her eyes. "That's exactly right. All we can really do is live and hope we make the right decisions. That or we could go and pay Madam Trelawney a visit in her shop down Licentious Lane, but I personally would prefer to spend my gold on something good," she added with a grin. Kelly reached over and squeezed Queety's free hand once more with a smile. "I'm glad you feel you can talk to me about these things. I may be Kat's best friend, but I'd never tell you, Straw or her what I thought you wanted to hear if it wasn't the truth."

At Queety's final words, Kelly leaned back in her chair and drained her tea cup, trying to gather her thoughts and suddenly shaking hands. She set aside her now empty tea cup and looked steadily at Queety, feeling all the fear and anger from the previous night come back. "What was he thinking?" she asked, her voice low. She would not mention too much out loud, for fear of people passing by the shop, but she couldn't help it. "Doesn't he realise what he's done, and what he's now implicated all of us in? How does he know it's him, Queety? Because call me a cynic if you must, but his 'gut feeling' really isn't enough for me."

[Queety White]

Queety bit her lower lip. She knew Kelly's thoughts very well on the matter regarding Josh Chambers, or rather, the man claiming to be him, having seen her anger the evening before. It was a very understandable and reasonable reaction. Queety herself was struggling between being upset with Straw and wanting to trust and believe him. So she could not pull herself to be quite angry at him like Hermione and Kelly had been, she was still very worried. 

"I don't trust this man at all," Queety began, choosing her words carefully. Most of the people in the store were leaving by this point but there were still a few stragglers left and could easily overhear their conversation. "I don't know what he said to Straw or what he had done to convince him of anything. But it rests that Straw truly was convinced, convinced enough to get this guy out. And that's the part I'm more concerned with now. What if Straw gets in trouble? And you're right. Now we know about it. Hermione knows about it. We could get in trouble by association. Gut feeling isn't gonna save our arses."

Queety sighed. "But at the same time, I can't report him for basically breaking the law. That would be so messed up of me. I'm glad that you and Kat know now because I hated holding onto the secret and not knowing what to do with it. But I feel like we're put in this situation where we're stuck. What do we do now?"

There was a part of Queety that wanted to try to find this man and question him herself, somehow find some veritaserum and make this man confess. But she was nowhere near a powerful enough witch to be able to face anyone who potentially was capable of killing a man to be able to subdue him and then force him to answer her questions. At least she now had friends who could come up with more reasonable solutions to this dilemma. 

[Kelly Evans]

Kelly shook her head slowly, a look of complete resignation on her face. "I don't know, Queety. I'm surprised Hermione didn't arrest him, I really am. She's so serious about her work and her role, it's obvious that he hit a nerve with her, enough so that she would put her own career on the line, as well." Kelly wondered whether she should talk to Hermione about this, try and see what her feelings were about what to do next. That thought alone gave her chills, as she imagined the look on Hermione's face once she knew that Straw had now told other people. "I know you wouldn't report him, Queety, just like he knows none of us would. I just wish I could find some of his blind faith and use that. Even Kat looked as if she believed it, when I passed her on my way out last night." Kelly was slightly embarrassed by her reaction the previous evening, especially considering she usually kept her feelings to herself, but she still stood by every word she'd said.

"What I want to do is I want to hand this guy over to the authorities in a way that it doesn't incriminate Straw, but I'm sure I'd be outvoted on that option," she said with a small grin, trying to find some semblance of humour in the situation. "I don't understand how he expects us to agree to meet with this person, either. I mean, he's a convicted killer." Kelly looked around quickly, lowering her voice even more. "Sure, he's met with Straw and convinced him, but what do we have to prove Straw isn't under some kind of spell? He wants us to meet with this person, one-on-one, so how are we supposed to know that he is who he says he is? If he looks like the person he is claiming to be, then why wasn't it easier to follow the normal channels and get him out of Azkaban legitimately?" Kelly sighed again, sitting back in her chair. "It would take a whole lot of Veritaserum for me to believe any story this man wants to tell, and that's just to start."

[Queety White]

Queety noticed the slight look of discomfort when Kelly mentioned her leaving the night before. "You know, I don't blame you for being upset last night at all," she assured her. "I think out of all of us, you're being the most rational. The stuff you were saying last night, I didn't even think about it really. I just want to trust Straw so bad that I'm just listening to everything he says. But you're right. There's a lot of stuff that just does not make sense in the equation.

"There's got to be a way to get to this guy and get the information from him. And if by some small chance he's who he says he is, maybe we can figure out some way to clear his name. But if he's not, then we will convict him and send him back to Azkaban and no one will know any different," Queety continued. "The question is how do we do it..." 

She pressed her fist against her mouth in thought. There was a hint of Gryffindor in her that was excited for the idea of a possible adventure. And her Mihael heart was strong in wanting to figure out a creative way to do it. 

"I mean, there's no way he could manipulate me emotionally," she began. "I was never particularly close to him like you guys were. So whatever tricks he used on Straw, he might be able to use on you and Kat and Hermione--"

Hermione.

"That's it," Queety continued. "Kelly, we have to get Hermione to talk to us, too. She's unfortunately involved in this and we're gonna need her help if we're gonna bring out the truth. She's a much better more level headed Auror than Straw and definitely does things with more judgement and planning. We need to find out what she knows and what she plans to do with the information. Have you heard from her?"

[Kelly Evans]

"Thank you," she replied quietly, appreciating that someone at least could understand where she was coming from. She hadn't talked to Kat, even though the witch had knocked on her front door on her way home from Straw's apartment, but she felt all alone in a sea of believers. Kelly shook her head. "No, I've not heard from Hermione yet. Judging by her reaction at the Three Broomsticks, she and I had had very similar reactions to Straw's news." Kelly thought back once again to the expression that had been on Hermione's face, and she had to repress a shiver. "I think Hermione is the way to go about this, because you're right, she is much more level-headed than Straw - she and I have that in common - but let's just say for a moment that he's right, and that this person really is Josh Chambers." Kelly paused again, trying to make herself believe the words as she said them, but failing just as dismally as she had the previous evening. "If he is Josh, then Hermione is going to be in the same position that Straw is in right now: trapped between the desire to do the right thing by the law and by her creed, and the desire to have her husband back."

"And if he's wrong, and he's done all of this for nothing, then Hermione will really have no choice but to arrest him. And proving that this man is Josh is not going to be as easy as I think Straw has assumed. Magic can be used in so many tricky ways, anyone can take a glamour or a potion to look like someone else, but they can also use magic to get hold of their memories, their thoughts and feelings. If the real killer has decided to take the form and personality of Josh, then magic would have allowed him to do that. How he did it in Azkaban would be hard to explain, of course, but now that the dementors are gone and Azkaban is guarded by mere humans, wandless magic would not have been impossible." Fidgeting with the hem of her shirt, Kelly shrugged her shoulders. "I think I will talk to Hermione, if only so I can make sure she's okay. Hearing a close friend exclaim that your long-dead husband is actually alive and well would be hard for anyone to take, even Hermione."

Kelly looked up once more at Queety, worry etched into her face. "But Queety, I want to ask you a favour, and while I know they're not my responsibility and I can't make decisions for them, please don't let Straw take the children near this person. Or don't let him into the house if the children are there. If Straw is wrong," Kelly kept saying 'if', in a way to try and change her own mind about it, "If he is wrong, then this person is very dangerous, and there must be some kind of plot to get at Hermione, or the rest of us, because otherwise, what was the point of it all? Why was Josh even killed, or put into Azakaban, in the first place? It just doesn't make sense, other than a random act of violence."