&I start to pretend i'm okay;;

[jasminezeddle]

Leaving home, what a great feeling to the tiny girl named Jasmin. Humming to a song she had just heard before she left she picked up her bags and walked away from her parents without a single word. A normal parent would make their child come back and say goodbye but well, Jasmin didn't have normal parents. As Jasmin had turned her back to walk away her parents did the exact same thing neither Jasmin or her parnets uttering a word.

Her blonde hair hanging slightly in her face but she didn't mind. Her blue eyes shone as she walked to the train. Her converse making sound with every step she took. Her dark jeans had a hole in the knee but it didn't bother her, nothing seemed to ever bother Jaz. Her backpack on her shoulders and her trunk getting dragged behind her. Her mind full of thoughts like what house will I get in, will I make friends and many others like that but she dismissed them trying to not be nervous, and even if she was she would be able to hid it pretty good, she was good at hiding emotions.

Walking down the isle she finally looked in to see an empty compartment. She put her trunk away and opened up her back pack after she sat down. Taking out a small notebook and a quill she begin writing in her slanted curvy handwriting still humming the song taping her toe slightly. She wrapped her black coat with hearts and skulls around her tighter only leaving a little bit of her white t-shirt with hello kitty on it. Thinking she brought up the quill and held it there as if her brain had stopped for a second.

[Oliver Mannequin]

Ollie didn't know where else he would go. Staying in the compartment that his twin had found was a nice thought but Ollie felt that he needed to do some walking around. He knew that there is nothing else he would find in the train besides other students and probably some random people selling snacks.

Ollie did not want to just find random people and start talking to them because he knew that it is not him. Oliver Mannequin is not the talkative type of person. He would not be what other sees as someone friendly but he is once you get to know him. Of course there are not that much people who really knows him that well. Only his brother does.

As he was walking down the deserted halls, suddenly, the lady that sells those candies pop out of nowhere and kids started to spill out, looking for candies to buy. Quickly, Ollie opened a compartment and stepped inside. He didn't even think of who could be there or anything. If the person would want him out, then he would be alright with it, just as soon as those people leave that is.

With one look around the compartment, he found it rather empty, besides that lone girl sitting all to herself. Usually Ollie would just keep quiet but he find it rude if he just stay there without even asking the girl if he could stay. With a soft voice that one could barely here it, Ollie asked the girl "Do you mind if i stay here?"

[jasminezeddle]

As she sat there writing in her book she closed it and set it down next to her and the quill next to that. She brought her legs up to her chest and wrapped her arms around her legs holding them tightly as she looked out the window. She gently let her head rest on the window looking out of it daydreaming. Jaz was a big daydreamer, which wasn't a good thing because it got her in trouble a lot and sometimes she would say something she didn't mean when she was daydreaming. Closing her eyes for a second she heard a soft voice which startled her and her eyes opened fastly.

She looked up to see a boy. "Oh no, I don't mind." She said in her quiet voice and looked back towards the window. She was the kind of girl who kept to herself most of the time unless she got hyper, but other then that she stayed by herself. She bit her lip slightly looking up at the sky which was the same color as her eyes. The quietness Jasmin was used to but not with anonther person in the room. At her house whenever anyone else was in the room with her they were most likely yelling at her or telling her to do something.

Trying to break the silence which wasn't a smart move for Jasmin because most of the times she did that she would look like and idiot. "Um, i'm Jasmin, and you are?" She asked. She hated how a lot of the times she was shy and would start sentences with um but she tried to shake it off as she looked at the boy seeing what he would say, well that means if he would say anything back.

[Oliver Mannequin]

Ollie nodded at the girl and sat down. He could looked at her. She was just sitting there all alone, at least that what it seems like although he was there. He could somehow understand how she feels yet at the same time knew nothing of what's happening in her life. The loneliness he could understand but went through her history, what she'd been through, he knew none. It is never good to just judge a person.

Ollie didn't know what to say to the girl. He felt sadder than usual. It is probably because seeing the girl like that makes him more sad. That happens to him sometimes. When he's alright or sad, and he sees someone else with a blue feeling, he begins to feel that way. And he couldn't help the fact that he is not a very good talker and he knew none of the words to say to the girl.

Minutes passed and all Ollie could do was stare at his hands, something that his brother would do. He didn't know why he did it. He just did. Maybe it was because he didn't know what to say and he didn't feel like it would be appropriate for him to say anything but he just didn't speak. Minutes ticked and finally the girl spoke. Her name: Jasmin.

"I'm Oliver" he told her and tried to smile. He did not smile often because most of the time he did not talk or even look at people. There was nothing funny or anything to smile about when he talks but sometimes when he has nothing to say, he just smiles. He had no idea why. Maybe that's his own way of saying something that no one would probably understand without him having to speak at all.

[jasminezeddle]

Jasmin closed her eyes for a second trying to clear her mind so she could start over new at the new school. Even how much she would convince herself that she had forogotten about everything she would know deep down inside that she really hadn't. Opening her blue eyes she looked up at the boy hearing his name. "Well its nice to meet you." She said it in her small voice once again. Taking her head up off the window she took a clip out of her pocket and clipped back her bangs half way out of her face.

Jasmin's mind was completly blank now and she couldn't think at all. She didn't know if she should say anything and if she should, she didn't know what to say. She zipped her jacket up half way and pulled it around her tight hoping it would help her think, but of course it didn't. She looked back out the window looking at the sky and the trees and then she remembered her book. She picked it up and began writing again.

She knew by how she was acting she wasn't going to make many friends at hogwarts if any at all. Looking at her nails giving herself a reminder that she had to paint them again since the black nailpolish was coming off. She looked back up at the boy seeing if he would say anything even though she knew he wouldn't.

[Oliver Mannequin]

Ollie nodded once again. Nodding is the easiest way he could think of of saying yes, hey, and all those things. But somehow, Ollie felt that he needed to say a 'nice to meet you too' back at her. He did not know why.

Ollie was having a conflict within himself but it was a pointless battle. Talking vs. Not talking. Usually the non talking side wins. What else is there to say after all? But this time, the talking side won and he is pretty surprised about that. What's with the change? He did not know.

For the last minute or so, the boy did not say anything. He just stared at his hands again. The talking side won but no words had escaped his lips, at least none yet. He would speak but he couldn't. Somehow he couldn't. There was no voice inside him. It seems like even talking would be a waste of time.

Taking a deep breath, the boy made another attempt. He opened his mouth, a sign that he would most likely to speak. And he did. "Are you new?" was all he asked. Hopefully the girl would understand his means of 'are you new'. He wanted to say more, really he did but he found it easier to speak less.

[jasminezeddle]

Looking down at her feet some of her blonde hair fell in her face and she looked at it and took the strand and tucked it behind her ear. Biting her lip again the silence was making her feel wierd. She didn't know why but it did. Shaking her head trying to get rid of the feeling she looked up as she heard the boy say something. Not sure if she should answer or not she scrunched up her nose, but then decided to answer.

"Ya i'm new, what about you?" She said. It felt wierd for her to talk to someone because she never really talked to anyone at her home because most people judged her and then hated her. She tightened her grip around her legs, for some reason it made her feel more comfortable. She looked at the boy waiting for him to answer. She didn't think that anything that happend at hogwarts would change her and make her less shy.

She noticed that she still had her book next to her and she closed it and put it back inside her backpack along with the quill. She didn't know what she had in her backpack because, well she was in a hurry and wanted to get out of her house as fast as she could so she shoved everything she could grab in time into her backpack.

[Oliver Mannequin]

Oliver gave a small nod and tilted his head for no reason before he tilted it back again to the way it was before. The girl seem to be falling apart even though people would say 'how would you know that?'. Well, how did exactly Mistuh Ollie came upon that conclusion? It was the way the girl was holding herself. He'd seen that before.

The girl tightened her grip on herself and Ollie couldn't think of what is wrong with her. Usually the tighter you hold on to yourself, the better you would feel. Why? Because he knew that if the girl doesn't do that, she would probably feel like at any second, she would fall apart and she couldn't' do anything about it.

"You okay?" he asked later on. Weird. Oliver is weird. He wouldn't blame the girl if she just judge him because of the fact that he did not speak that much and the fact that he has nothing to say. Or anything of the sort. He looked at the girl, his blue-green eyes searched for the unknown. What was the matter with her? Is she alright?

[jasminezeddle]

Looking up a little shocked as she looked at him wierd she scrunched up her nose. "Depends what you mean by okay." She said. She looked at her feet. She was confused usually she was able to cover up her emotions and act like everything was fine, but then again she was having a bad day that day. She didn't know if she would be able to explain what was wrong, its not like it was normal to talk about her abusive dad and being compared to her perfect sister, she usually didn't talk about stuff like that.

Letting go of her knees and letting her feet drop to the ground she crossed her arms across her stomach tightly but not to tight. Looking up at the boy once more. "How did you know I wasn't okay?" She asked him quiestionly. Usually if anyone knew she wasn't okay they just didn't want to ask why or they just didn't care enough to ask.

Looking down the window trying to distract herself from the question he had asked earlier. Jasmin is one of those people who are scared to open up to people because she doesn't trust them enought not to hurt her. She looked at the passing objects trying to take her mind off of it, but it didn't help.

[Oliver Mannequin]

"Depends what you mean by okay."

Oliver thought about that but could only come up with one okay situation, that is when you are not feeling good because the world is giving you crap and treating you like dirt. Well, that's what Ollie's thinking right now. Of course, there are other types of 'okay' like the Jasmin had said. But the one he was thinking of, he couldn't say it out loud. Too much to say but he guessed that if he had talked that much already, he could probably talk more.

"How did you know I wasn't okay?"

Boom. Another bomb dropped by the girl. The answer was simple enough, at least to Ollie. Other people might not understand the way he sees things but some people does. "Its the way you hold yourself" he told her softly.

Somehow, Ollie couldn't manage to keep his voice loud enough. If it wasn't the whole talking so much that is one of his problem, that other was talking loudly. He just didn't see the point but he knew that that is not the main concern right now.

"I..." he began. It was too long. How could he say that he could somehow understand how she feels when he knew that he knew her feelings not completely?

[jasminezeddle]

Tilting her head to one side her blonde hair falling in her face. Then he explained why he thought that and she nodded her head slightly. "Oh I see." Jasmin hadn't have someone guess her feelings before and she was still kind of in shock of it. She usually kept all of her feelings bottled up, which wasn't good because they would end up overflowing and everthing would go bad, but other than that she never showed her feelings or opened up to anyone. She just didn't want to get hurt.

The lyrics of a song came into her head and she tried to push them out because she knew it reminded her of herself and she didn't want to deal with it at that moment. Jasmin was working on trying to control her emotions and hid them then. She shut her eyes tight trying to clear her mind and she covered her face with her hands for a second. She then let go of her face and opened her eyes trying to regain herself back.

She then looked up at him as she heard him start something and then all of a sudden stop. "What?" She asked. She wanted to know what he was going to say. He had already figured out that she wasn't as fine and she liked to put off she was, now what has he guessed about her. It wasn't like she just told everyone everything she liked to keep everything to herself and just be alone.

[Oliver Mannequin]

Oliver frowned to himself and looked at his shoes. How is he going to say it? He did not know. Talking wasn't really his thing but he knew that once he had began his sentence, there was no way that he could just say 'nevermind' because both him and Jasmin knew that it was not a 'nevermind' statement.

He took a deep breath. He would say it but he didn't want to hurt Jasmin's feelings. If he told her he understood, she might say that he doesn't and what if he gets mad at her? He wouldn't like that. He's new to the school. He basically has no friends. Sure, he had acquaintance (?) but no real friends. The closest friend he has is his twin. He didn't want to make a possible friend be a...something.

"I...I somehow understand you" he told her and looked at her in the eye. He couldn't explain to her how but he just knows somehow. It was just something. The boy looked at the floor, waiting for what Jasmin would say to him.

[jasminezeddle]

Jasmin looked up when he said that and nodded slightly. "Oh, I see." She said. She wasn't going to ask questions but she wanted to, but of course she didn't want to be rude. She looked out the window then back at the boy was thinking about saying something but changed her mind. She bit her lip trying not to say anything rude. "How do you know that?" Well to late. She hoped it didn't come out rude because she didn't mean it that way.

Looking down at her feet crossing her arms tighted around her stomach. Letting her blonde hair fall into her face she looked out the window. Outside was passing trees which started to bore her so she looked up at the bright blue sky and the passing clouds. Getting lost in the clouds she started seeing pictures until she remembered that the boy was still in the compartment.

Taking a piece of her hair she twirled it around her finger slightly trying to destract herself. Well it wasn't working her once empty mind was now cluttered and every thought was getting mixed up so every thought would make no sense which would just stress her out a lot. Jasmin was a confusing girl.

[Oliver Mannequin]

Oliver continued looking at the floor, not knowing whether the girl is mad at him or anything of the sort. Or would she just burst and tell him that he knew nothing that she feels. That he just think that he does but he really doesn't? He could not tell.

Finally, Oliver got the chance and just looked at her. He did not know why but sometimes he couldn't stand looking into a person's eyes because...because...he does not know. He just couldn't. There are just somethings that cannot be explained. Things that you just know.

"How do you know that?"

Somehow, Oliver did not know whether that question would pop out but he knew that sooner or later it would. That was the reaction he got instead of the outburst. Form the look of Jasmin's face, it seems like she had regretted ever saying the last words that she had said, just like what he had done. But he couldn't' take it back now.

With a shrug, Oliver said "i don't know. I guess i feel the same way sometimes" and he looked at the floor. He wanted to hit himself. What made him think that he could just say that? What made him think that he could just tell the girl, Jasmin, whom he had just met about how he feels? He did not know. And he knew that it is a bad move. He shouldn't have said that. He should have kept his mouth shut and say that he just doesn't know. The only problem with that is that he would be lying to her. She already seem to be having taken crap by whoever did that to her. He just didn't want to be an additional pain to her. He didn't want her to think that everyone is out there to get her. To hurt her.

[jasminezeddle]

Jasmin wanted to hit herself over the head for the last words she had said. She looked up at the boy as he said the next words. She didn't know what to say. She didn't know if he could really relate to having a abusive parent but it wasn't for Jasmin to judge that, she didn't know anything about this boy. Jasmin didn't judge people because she got judged by people enough at her home, which she hoped she never had to go back to. She didn't want to have to deal with her perfect sister, her abusive dad, or her mother who never listens to what she has to say.

"Oh." Was all Jasmin could. What else could she say, well a couple things but she didn't want sound like an idiot like she already had done. Letting go of her hair letting it slip off her finger slowly. She looked at the boy not knowing what to say at all. Her mind had went blank and forgot everything she could of said to get rid of the silence that was bugging her so much.

She set her backpack on the ground next to her feet and then looked straight down at her feet. The akwardness was bugging her so much, well if akwardness was a word, well she wasn't sure. Her blue eyes on her black converse and she was biting her lip once more, it was a habit when she had nothing to say or do.

[Oliver Mannequin]

Oliver wanted to just scream. What was he thinking again? He did not know. For all he knew, both him and the girl feel some similar thing but maybe he was wrong? Maybe what she's dealing with was something bigger than what he is feeling. Sure, he's adopted and all and sure, life isn't that horrible to him but he does feel sometimes that he would just break. People would wonder how he could possibly feel that way when they see that his life isn't that bad. But he just does.

The boy rested his hands on his face. He wanted to just disappear. Ack. He hoped that he would never slip again. He hope that he wouldn't say things like that again. What if he found out the reason that Jasmin feels like that and it's nothing like his? Then she would be angry with him? Or maybe she would think that he lied to her. No he didn't lie to her. He didn't. But why does he feel like he had done something wrong by expressing how he felt? Maybe it was just the fact that he wasn't used to it at all.

With a quick glance at Jasmin, Oliver straightened up. How weird is it that neither of them are saying anything? It is probably because both of them is not a talker. That both of them does not know what to say next. Other people would be talking about something random by now but he doesn't know what to say to her. He isn't the normal boy, he guessed. Is he awkward to talk to? A weirdo? He does not know how others see him.

Oliver took a deep breath again. Maybe what he needed was to change the mood of the room. Try to say something else different but what? "Do you write?" was all he said noticing the notebook next to her.

[jasminezeddle]

The quietness was bugging her so much but she didn't speak. It was her way of staying bottled up, not letting anyone in. She looked up at his question. "Yes." Was all she said, what else was she suppost to say. She did write sometimes but mostly she wrote in a diary. It was her way of trying to control her feelings with out exploding and letting them all out, it was like her friend. It was crazy to call a diary a friend and if anyone knew that well, they would think she was a freak.

Most of what she wrote was just getting her feelings out and it worked. It made her feel better. Everyonce in a while Jasmin would feel like everything was caving in on her and everyone was out to get her, but she hadn't felt like that in a while and just prayed she wouldn't feel like that for a long time but she knew she would. Her eyes which were normally bright blue looked like a grayish faded color now, her eyes would do that a lot. Well Jasmin was a strange, strange girl.

Jasmin wanted to say something more, anything. But she couldn't think of the right words and when she did, nothing would come out. She felt like she was on mute, a complete mess that didn't deserve to be heard. Well maybe she was. Maybe she just needed to stay silent so no one had to hear her, or feel bad for her.

[Oliver Mannequin]

Oliver continued to look at the notebook then at Jasmin before he looked at his hands. Why can't he say something? Why cant he talk? Well he could but his brain wouldn't let him. It was like there was this force preventing him to say anything at all. But why? Why can't he just speak on his own will? Because he did not want to talk to people most of the time. That's what was it.

At her answer, Ollie looked at her then his shoes. He placed his left foot on top of his right foot and pressed down hard, not knowing why. Oliver glanced at the door and tore his foot from the other one. He had heard screaming outside. What was the problem with people? He did not know so he tried to ignore the noise outside and stared ahead of him.

Obviously, talking would do no good. Not talking would do no good. And Ollie began to feel bad. It's his fault that Jasmin is now stuck with him, who's basically like a rock. He couldn't even talk about something decent. He began to feel bad about just being there so he just looked at his foot.

[jasminezeddle]

Jasmin looked at her feet and she forced herself to say something. "Sorry i'm so quiet." This was most likely the longest thing she had said out of nowhere. She felt bad that she was being quiet, but that was just her. If anyone just got to know her she wouldn't be quiet anymore she would be herself and open, but anyone that she is open to has to gain her trust first which takes a while. She kind of blushed after she said it. She most likely sounded stupid like usual.

She bit her lip slightly but then stopped. She picked up her book and put it in to her backpack and then zipped her backpack back up and the kicked it slightly with her foot. Her eyes were returning back to normal at a pale blue but was still faded looking. She looked out the window. She didn't know if the boy would say anything back but if he was then he would and if her wouldn't well then, she had said something and it would still be silent.

Looking at her feet, her jeans were covering part of them, she became just as silent as before. The next time she was by herself she was going to hit herself in the head for being such an idiot and acting stupid, which wasn't a good way to start off going to a new school.

[Oliver Mannequin]

Oliver looked at Jasmin and shook his head. No it wasn't her fault that she's quiet. If she wasn't comfortable speaking, then that is alright. It really isn't her fault. Ollie doesn't like talking and he...he might blame himself for being quiet around people because he feels like he was just a rock that does nothing but bore people to death. But he couldn't blame her for being quiet.

"That's alright." he said to her and smiled. Oliver put his hands to his pocket and found something inside. Somehow, he had two small cookies in a plastic wrap. Carefully, he took them out and looked at it.

Ollie blinked twice before looking back at Jasmin. How stupid could he look just staring at a cookie? Oh well. "You want one?" he asked her offering her the cookie. Oliver did not even remember that before he got to the train, he had gotten cookies. His brother had offered candy to him earlier but he didn't take some.